Guilt of returning pigs after failed bondings😔

Freya1234

Freya1234

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Hi all,
On Saturday I adopted two new girls (Rosie and syrup) to bond with my bereaved neutered boy Winston, I tried bonding them on Monday and unfortunately Syrup was showing a lot of fear aggression, I’m going to try bonding again on Saturday since Syrup will have had a week to settle in side by side with Winston but if the bonding is hostile again on Saturday I will have to return the girls to the rescue.

I’m already struggling with the guilt of potentially having to give them back after they’ve settled in especially since they’ve been moved about a lot already. The girls were both previously bereaved and came to the rescue as single pigs were bonded by the fosterer and then came to me. I know it would be the right thing for all the pigs so they are all happy but I just feel awful about them having to move about so much. I also feel guilty for Winston who is really happy he has company again that I will be taking the girls away from him. How have people coped in the past with having to return rescue piggies after failed bondings?
 

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Last summer I had 7 rescue boars pass through here trying to find Bertie a cage mate. Bertie is a young over excitable boar who was separated from other piggies when he was 2 months old and had lived for 6 or 7 months alone. We hoped by living for at least a week and in some cases two side by side with another boar he would settle down and get some of the excitement out of his system it didn't work!
I loved all my little visitors, I would have been glad to give any of them a home but they all had to go back as heart breaking as that was. I have kept in touch with the rescue and I know they have all found good homes, some of them were neutered and are now living with sows. I tried not to get to attached and to treat them as temporary boarders until I knew if they were staying. Knowing they have gone to good homes and are living with cage mates and with back up if ever needed from the rescue has helped with the guilt of returning them.
By trying those sows with Winston you have given the rescue an idea of their characters and the best type of home for them. I am so sorry if you have to return them, fingers crossed the bonding goes well on Saturday.
 
I adopted two sows for my remaining girl and they got on fabulously at the rescue and in the pen at home. But when I put them into their cage together, it all went south, fast. I had to separate them and put up solid divider as they were constantly lunging through the bars. I’d been communicating with the rescue lady throughout the issues in-cage and returned the new girls the next day. They were lovely pigs and so so relaxed but Rey just didn’t want to share space with them. I didn’t feel sad or guilty as my girl’s happiness came first, maybe a bit disappointed, but I felt a bit guilty for putting her through it. It took her a week to get back to normal.
The rescue lady let me know a few weeks later that the pair had gone to a lovely new family, which was nice.
 
I had to get one of my original boys rehomed after a spectacular bond break to the point at which they couldn't even live as neighbours. He is living a great life as a husboar and Dignified Sir George has a very chilled bond with the Mischievous Master Boris who was a lonely unsocialised boy in need of a calm dominant. I believe in karma and think this is much better for all three. Like @piggieminder says this gives a better understanding of the company that would suit Syrup better (if the bonding doesn't work) and ultimately leads to piggies living in a happy herd.
 
Thank you to all of you, @piggieminder i hope you found a suitable friend for Bertie! I definitely will keep in touch with the rescue to make sure they go to a lovely home that’s just as caring as mine and I’ll know be able to let them know they’d be better adopted to a home where they can just be a pair, I think in the back of my mind I’m just thinking about the fact they might end up as kids pets in a hutch in the garden and then get forgotten about which I’m sure wouldn’t happen since I know the rescue checks all the homes but I keep coming up with different scenarios!
But ultimately I want them all to be happy and for Winston to have a happy herd that he loves so it is the right thing to do. I just know I will always think about Rosie and Syrup.
 
Bertie has a side by side friend at the moment. It's not something the rescue would normally allow but this was an unusual situation for both boars. Bertie's friend Duck had always been a lone piggy and was very scared when put in the bonding pen. I hope to be able to either bond them at a later date when they are more mellow or find them both another friend when they are both less stressed in a bonding situation.
I doubt very much that the rescue would allow Rosie and Syrup to go to an outside hutch where they would be forgotten about. Very few rescues rehome to garden hutches these days and they certainly wouldn't rehome to one at this time of year. New homes and owners are very vigorously checked and followed up on these days.
 
I had a little boar to try and bond with Lexi and Thea once Meg had toddled off to the Rainbow Bridge. I had him in a separate cage side by side for 5 weeks while he waited out his post neuter time. They all got on well through the bars but when it came to bonding it was a total disaster. I attempted bonding in the only neutral area I had which was the bath. Lexi liked him but Thea took an instant dislike to him and it ended up in a jumping rolling fight of 3 piggies in the end. So the boar had to go back. I had adopted him on the proviso that if he didn't get on with Lexi and Thea I could return him. I felt bad but he has gone to a lovely home and is living with a couple of sows.

When Lexi toddled of to the Rainbow Bridge, I adopted Misty and Bramble to try an bond with Thea. Thea was having nothing to do with them so they all live side by side. Thea is in the hutch and Misty and Bramble are in the cage. It works well and Thea is happy in her own company and chats to the neighbours and they chat to her.

This is how they are. Its the only way I can make it work in space that I have. The cage is usually up to the door of the hutch but I had just finished spot cleaning the hutch and it's easier if the cage is down a bit from the hutch door.
Misty & Bramble Cage.JPG
 
Freya1234 said:
Hi all,
On Saturday I adopted two new girls (Rosie and syrup) to bond with my bereaved neutered boy Winston, I tried bonding them on Monday and unfortunately Syrup was showing a lot of fear aggression, I’m going to try bonding again on Saturday since Syrup will have had a week to settle in side by side with Winston but if the bonding is hostile again on Saturday I will have to return the girls to the rescue.

I’m already struggling with the guilt of potentially having to give them back after they’ve settled in especially since they’ve been moved about a lot already. The girls were both previously bereaved and came to the rescue as single pigs were bonded by the fosterer and then came to me. I know it would be the right thing for all the pigs so they are all happy but I just feel awful about them having to move about so much. I also feel guilty for Winston who is really happy he has company again that I will be taking the girls away from him. How have people coped in the past with having to return rescue piggies after failed bondings?
Click to expand...

HUGS

Try to see it as giving all piggies a chance. You can never guarantee success, only give it a try. All the best for Saturday.

I have had several failed bondings over the years where what was looking like a perfect match on paper didn't work out in reality; especially with my more difficult customers. I have always been very upfront with the rescues if I was dealing with a situation where I didn't have an alternative Tribe solution for a dating piggy/pair and would have to return them if the bonding failed.

It's been gutting each time but the rescues got the adoption fee anyway. I always only used local rescues who I had already successfully adopted from for those kind of make or break dating situations. The one failure I rued most was a lovely natured chocolate boar from the RSPCA who I tried with Nerys and Nesta after I had split them from the Tribe - but Nerys would just not have him after she could not dominate him. :(

My worst offender in the bonding stakes was dumped ex-single Beryn - it took 17 months to find her a companion of her own liking and I ended up with 4 more Tribe piggies because of Beryn - babies Miaren and Meleri (December 2017), Dylan (July 2018) and finally Betsan (january 2019) who managed to bond with her... notwithstanding plenty of failed Tribe internal bonding attempts!
 
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