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Guinea Pig Died Following Retrobulbar & I Feel So Guilty

Teddy-Boys

Teddy-Boys

Junior Guinea Pig
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I posted a while ago about my 2yr old Guinea pig Spaghetti who had a bulging eye & nasal discharge on the same side. I travelled to Northampton where the eye was removed & the abscess drained.

Everything seemed to be going well until on Thursday morning, 4 weeks after the operation Spaghetti suddenly passed away. I feel so guilty because he died within minutes of me picking him up to do his medication, so whatever I did must have triggered it. The nasal discharge had formed a scab over the one nostril so I briefly held under his chin & removed the scab thinking it would clear his nostrils. He then was a bit quiet & still and I went to administer his metacam. He didn’t grab the syringe like he normally does, so I inserted it into his mouth & shot in the 0.25ml which he didn’t seem to swallow. His mouth was slightly open & not closed properly. He then sort of rolled over a bit & I realised he didn’t look right at all, then he rolled off my lap onto the sofa next to me on his side spasming & his little legs were running & that’s when I realised he was nearly gone.

I can’t stop replaying it over in my head, particularly as I feel responsible. Did I accidentally suffocate him when I removed the scab, did I accidentally choke him when i force fed the metacam? I’m just really struggling to understand why it happened, at his last 2 check ups he was doing well - his teeth were checked & looked good & the abscess & wound seemed to be healing well. So much so that at his last appointment I was told to flush the eye by squirting at it from a distance rather than inserting the syringe into the wound 4 times a day to flush the abscess out. He was on marbocyl for the past month but wasn’t prescribed Zithromax as he seemed to be doing so well. He did start sneezing again a week prior but his breathing didn’t sound bad & as he hadn’t lost weight I didn’t bring his appointment forward as I can’t really take any more time off work unless it’s an emergency. Had I have known what would’ve happened, I would of course taken him sooner. This morning was supposed to be a big moment, his final check up & sign off at the vets but instead he’s already gone & has left his shy, sensitive brother Meatball who really acted like a mother hen to him whilst he was ill.
 
Please accept that feeling guilty is a normal part of grief.
You do not have any reason to feel guilty as you did everything possible for Spaghetti.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, piggies just can’t get over illness.
Now you need to take time to grieve and be kind to yourself.
When you feel ready why not post a tribute to Spaghetti on the Rainbow Bridge thread?
 
BIG HUGS

Please take a deep breath. You have NOT killed Spaghetti; you are just traumatised. We all have these feelings of guilt to a smaller or larger degree when one of our piggies dies; they are much worse when it happens unexpectedly and in your arms. You picked up Spaghetti because he was already not well. What happened would have happened anyway in some way or other; the critical mass for the bomb to go off clearly there. It was not your fault!

Sadly guinea pigs can die in the wake of a major operation or illness.
It can be that his heart was packing in; that is not uncommon.
Seemingly cured abscesses can come back very suddenly with a vengeance, especially if they have gone into a bone and work their way deeper in the body. It happened to my Hywel and his jaw abscess twice (always when Simon was away), so I know that from my own experience; it was a rather frightening experience. He needed two major ops and a lot of zithromax, which was what likely caused increasing mild bloating in the following months and then ultimately a sudden case of sudden overnight severe bloat after the bloating episodes seemed to have died down again, which killed him days before his 7th birthday. But without Simon and just being left to my local vets, Hywel would have lived nearly a year less long.

Guinea pigs are only very small and rather frail animals, and there is only so much their bodies will take, especially if there are other underlying factors we are not aware of come into play. Medicine has made major steps forward, but is has its limits. The more medical knowledge pushes forward, the trickier and complex the problems. Any vet can do only so much.
Please be aware that zithromax is a last ditch antibiotic that should only be used as such; it is NOT a magic wand that will cure every problem - and it is only one that comes with its own rat-tail of problems. It is always a very careful weighing up of risks and benefits, especially when you come to abscesses in the head.
Simon is an amazing vet, but not even he can magically cure every piggy going through his clinic; not in the league he is playing in, which often surpasses the abilities and knowledge of many other vets. :(

Whenever we are in your situation, we would like to be able to point a finger clearly at something to unload our feelings of guilt/failure and be able to turn them into righteous anger, which is much easier to deal with in many ways. It is very hard to NOT do it and to accept that is was most likely several factors playing together that nobody has full control over or knowledge about. :(
Unfortunately only a post-mortem will ever give you the full answer you crave right now.

You and Simon have done for Spaghetti what you could; he could not have had a better home and got better care for his problem. It is not much of a consolation right now, but it is important. You have not failed Spaghetti; he has had the best chance that you could give him.
Please take your time to deal with both the shock and the loss you have suffered. A sudden death is in many way much harder to cope with and takes longer to digest because you can't brace for it and get the whole load of emotions thrown into your face all at once.

PS: Here are our tips re. Meatball. Please step in with syringe feeding if he goes off food (acute pining). Sometimes this can trigger the appetite again. Close companions often struggle much more with a sudden death the same as we do.
Looking After A Bereaved Guinea Pig
 
Thanks both, I think it’s just because I wasn’t prepared for it & for the past 2 months I have hand fed him & given medicine 4 times a day, not doing that feels weird now he’s gone.

I was prepared that he might pass away during the operation & particularly in the week after, but 4 weeks post op I felt he was out of the woods. I think it’s because he seemed relatively normal when I went to pick him up, he sniffed my hand as I approached so it wasn’t like he was lying there unresponsive, yet 3 minutes later he was suddenly gone.

I guess I just feel like I should’ve picked up on the signs he wasn’t well sooner & pushed his appointment forward. But the fact he was gaining weight & I watched him eating independently overid my concerns about the sneezing from time to time. I just wish there were more vets like Simon because if it was my local vet I’d have taken him in just incase, but as there’s no way I can get to Northampton without booking holiday from work I saved that for emergencies only, which I didn’t realise it would be. Thanks I’m weighing Meatball daily to check his weight, he’s 1.3kg so another vet says he needs to go on a diet but I think I’ll look at that more once I’m sure he’s ok & still eating.
 
You did not kill your pig. He obviously had a very loving owner and you did everything you could for him. Guilt is a normal part of grief, but keep in mind - you gave it your all.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Often guinea pigs hide their illnesses too. You did nothing wrong.
 
So sorry this has happened. Don't ever blame yourself, you did your very best by him, but his little body had just had enough. xx
 
Teddy-Boys said:
Thanks both, I think it’s just because I wasn’t prepared for it & for the past 2 months I have hand fed him & given medicine 4 times a day, not doing that feels weird now he’s gone.

I was prepared that he might pass away during the operation & particularly in the week after, but 4 weeks post op I felt he was out of the woods. I think it’s because he seemed relatively normal when I went to pick him up, he sniffed my hand as I approached so it wasn’t like he was lying there unresponsive, yet 3 minutes later he was suddenly gone.

I guess I just feel like I should’ve picked up on the signs he wasn’t well sooner & pushed his appointment forward. But the fact he was gaining weight & I watched him eating independently overid my concerns about the sneezing from time to time. I just wish there were more vets like Simon because if it was my local vet I’d have taken him in just incase, but as there’s no way I can get to Northampton without booking holiday from work I saved that for emergencies only, which I didn’t realise it would be. Thanks I’m weighing Meatball daily to check his weight, he’s 1.3kg so another vet says he needs to go on a diet but I think I’ll look at that more once I’m sure he’s ok & still eating.
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Hi!

My Nesta died during her after-dinner nap about 4 weeks after her incisor removal op last year; she was never quite right after the op and struggled with her off-on appetite even though Simon, who'd seen her just days before, couldn't find anything obviously wrong and she'd definitely never shown any signs of heart problems before. It did come as a total shock and without any warning whatsoever. :(

You haven't missed anything because there wasn't anything to miss. These things just happen. It is actually not at all uncommon for a piggy body to suddenly give out without warning when you think they are on the home straight. Because of their big personalities and all th care we invest in them, we tend to forget just how small their bodies are. :(

Please don't blame yourself. There is NOTHING you have done wrong, missed or could have prevented!
It is just so hard for you to make sense of what has happened after your long battle and all the care you have invested in Spaghetti and you being within touching distance of the sign-off.

The hardest part for me when I lose one of mine - and it doesn't matter how many you have - is retraining myself to change the daily routine again when I am reminded in so many automatic little gestures and unthinking ways of my loss so jarringly. Try to concentrate on Meatball and to look after him in the coming days while is doing his own mourning. What you can do for him constructively will also help your own grieving process. Be accepting when he withdraws from you; that is normal, if hurtful for us.

PS: If you struggle to lay your ghosts to sleep in the coming days, please consider ringing the Blue Cross pet bereavement helpline to talk about it. All the forum members that have done it (and many of them have been struggling with their own feelings of guilt/failure or struggling to cope with a sudden loss) have found it very helpful being able to talk with somebody who understands and is bound by confidentiality. Talking about it is the best way of getting a handle on your churning emotions and to let them out. It is going to take some time for your heart and your mind to come together again. Right now, you can't hear it often enough and from as many sides as possible that there is nothing you yourself have to feel guilty for.

Guinea pigs can pass away like that, without any warning. I've lost seemingly healthy, young piggies without warning; lost them on examination table rushing them to the vets as an emergency within minutes of noticing that something was wrong - it has left me literally shaking like a leaf from the jitters on occasion with a lot of soul searching of my own to do before finally coming to the conclusion that there was nothing I could have done more or better and being able to deal with the pain of the loss. :(
It is a lot easier to cope in my own experience when you have somebody who can talk you through all that, so it comes out and cannot fester. The worst I have suffered pet bereavement was in pre-forum days when I had nobody who would understand just how deep any pet can get into your heart, and that it is not relating to the size, longevity or species, but to the closeness of your bond. This is always much worse if you have shared an intense battle for your pet's life or a life crisis of your own when your pet has been your comfort. :(
Pet Bereavement and Pet Loss
 
Thanks everyone, it does really help to have other people say it wasn’t my fault because I’ve just been replaying what happened over & over in my head. I’ve since read the pinned post on here about what happens when a guinea pig is dying & that’s exactly what he did when he passed. Watching it spooked me a bit as well, so I also felt bad about that & the fact I left him for my bf to move when he got back because I couldn’t.

So sorry to hear about your Nesta, it’s so horrible when they pass & it’s often hard for other people to understand. Even well meaning comments such as wow he was 2, isn’t that old for a guinea pig?! make me want to shout no he should have had another 5 years yet!

I have ordered a teddy replica, where someone is going to make a guinea pig teddy based on pictures of Spaghetti so I’m hoping that will help. I’m also getting a baby guinea pig in 2 weeks that I hope to bond with Meatball, I can’t feel excited about it yet but I know that’s something I will look forward to when the time comes. Just wished they all lived longer, doesn’t seem 5 minutes since I got them both as babies
 
I'm so so sorry, for your. As everyone has said you did nothing wrong, guilt is a part of grieving.
Take heart that he is no longer in pain or distress & you loved each other very much. Your memories will get you through.
Sleep tight little Spaghetti, run free, to find friends at the rainbow bridge.
 
Teddy-Boys said:
Thanks everyone, it does really help to have other people say it wasn’t my fault because I’ve just been replaying what happened over & over in my head. I’ve since read the pinned post on here about what happens when a guinea pig is dying & that’s exactly what he did when he passed. Watching it spooked me a bit as well, so I also felt bad about that & the fact I left him for my bf to move when he got back because I couldn’t.

So sorry to hear about your Nesta, it’s so horrible when they pass & it’s often hard for other people to understand. Even well meaning comments such as wow he was 2, isn’t that old for a guinea pig?! make me want to shout no he should have had another 5 years yet!

I have ordered a teddy replica, where someone is going to make a guinea pig teddy based on pictures of Spaghetti so I’m hoping that will help. I’m also getting a baby guinea pig in 2 weeks that I hope to bond with Meatball, I can’t feel excited about it yet but I know that’s something I will look forward to when the time comes. Just wished they all lived longer, doesn’t seem 5 minutes since I got them both as babies
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HUGS!
With guinea pigs, you can't measure the time in length, but only in quality. There is nothing you have missed in that respect! Spaghetti has had the best of lives you could give him; he was pampered, loved and much cared for.

I am always happy when mine reach 4 years old and blessed when they live to a good old age, but my Ffion was only 1 year old and Telyn just a few days beyond her second birthday when they died from sudden acute heart failure; Ffion was the one who died while at the vets. They were both seemingly healthy, lively normal youngsters living with a genetic time bomb in their bodies that was primed to go off at any time without warning. There is sadly nothing you can do when a piggy goes into organ failure and when the heart gives out. Life is not always fair, whether that is pets or humans. :(

Don't feel obliged to having to love or even feel anything for Meatball's new companion; you will grow to love him in your own time and on his own terms, which are going to be very different from Spaghetti in your own time and when you are ready for it; don't put yourself under too much pressure in that respect! Until then, he will be Meatball's mate and that is perfectly fine.
Please be aware that not every baby clicks with every boar. If you have a rescue within reach where you can date Meatball so he can choose hos new mate before you bring them home, then consider this option.
Guinea Pig Rescue Centre Locator
You'll find more on that score in our bereavement guide. Looking After A Bereaved Guinea Pig
 
I'm really sorry for your loss. Honestly, I don't think it was anything you did, either in that moment or leading up to it. I've also had pigs pass shortly after being given meds... it's easy to feel guilty, but the fact is that you are giving meds because they were unwell enough to need them. They are little animals, can take a very quick turn for the worse with any illness, and hide symptoms well... it really is not your fault and you did everything you could for him. ((HUGS.))
 
Thank you, this forum has been such a great support.

So far Meatball seems to be ok, empty food bowl tonight which is a good sign. I have my heart set on this texel baby I came across, I understand it doesn’t always work out but I really hope it does. Meatball, bless him, is pretty much scared of everything so I doubt he’d be aggressive to the baby, but I know that once the baby has gone through puberty there’s more of a risk they could fall out. In that case I guess I’d divide the cage so they can still see each other.

I’m starting to think that maybe there was an underlying issue with spaghetti from the start of his illness, as his personality changed since he was ill. Before they simply co-existed within the same cage, always slept in separate houses etc & I never saw them interact. Since he was ill, they were always squished together sleeping in the same house, which whilst adorable did set alarm bells ringing as I know the old spaghetti would have chattered his teeth if Meatball tried to get that close. Spaghetti definitely seemed less fiesty for the past 2 months since this all started, so I wonder if this was a sign he still wasn’t feeling right.
 
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