Guinea pig loss and Guilt

JosieK

JosieK

Junior Guinea Pig
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Apologies for the long post, I just feel like I need to get my thoughts out to help me process the sudden loss of my guinea pig.

My piggie Ted died suddenly on the 29th of November of what the Vet suspected was Pneumonia. He was only one year old.

I brought him to the Vet as soon as I knew something was wrong but I feel terribly guilty that I did not notice anything wrong with him until it was too late. He seemed to be acting his usual self the day before and even ate his veggies the lunch time of the day he died. He passed away less than 24 hours after the first vet visit and I am in still in shock and I feel like I could have done more to save him.
In hindsight, I wonder if it was pneumonia at all or maybe a heart problem? I can't help but wonder if he did get different medications or if I brought him to another vet he would still be here? I feel like I didn't do enough and failed him. I should have looked up his symptoms but I just trusted the vet and I feel like maybe if I asked about heart issues he would be alive today.

He was so young and I was looking forward to giving him a long and happy life so I am absolutely devastated.

When I got Ted and his brother, I was struggling with my mental health (still am but on medication) and taking care of them have me something to look forward to every day. I feel utterly lost without him as he was such a special little character, so sweet and cheeky. While I obviously love his brother Dougal, too I feel like the bond is not as strong and Ted left a big hole.

I now had to get Dougal a new little friend as he looked quite sad and lonely. They seem to be getting along well. If it was up to me, I wouldn't have got another piggie but I had to do what was best for Dougal. I feel terribly guilty for getting a new guinea pig and interacting with him and feel like I am replacing Ted by doing so.

Sorry about the long ramble but I just miss my boy so much 😔
 
I’m so sorry you lost Ted. Please don’t feel guilt. You took Ted to the vets as soon as you noticed something was wrong. They hide any illnesses very well. You really did the right thing by getting Dougal a new friend. I had a very young piggy called Pippin pass last November. He was only 4 months old. I took him to the vets 3 or 4 times in two weeks but he couldn’t be saved and the vet wasn’t sure what the problem was. I really didn’t want another piggy. I thought I had done something wrong. But in the end we got Pepper to be Percy’s new friend and I’m so pleased we did. It’s ok to feel sad for Ted but you can still feel happy with the piggies you have now. If you are really struggling there are charities you can call to chat to them. Maybe that might help. Take care. ❤️
 
Hello Josie! I'm so sorry for your loss, Ted sounds like a wonderful pig and you must've loved him very much.
Alot of what you are saying is exactly what I have thought + felt (and I'm sure others here too) when losing a pig suddenly, or losing a pig at all.

1. you feel like you didn't notice - I think this is one of the hardest things to get used to with guinea pigs. A dog or a cat might have a longer more noticeable decline, but guinea pigs as prey animals hide their sickness / ailments until it's quite bad, as it's their instinct in the wild to not appear like the weakest member of the herd. This means when they do show sickness, they've likely felt bad for several days before and now it's progressed where they can't hide it. Please don't feel too bad about this, they unfortunately have a way of appearing completely normal until it's progressed quite far. All you can do for future piggies is keep an eye on their food + water intake + weight, and give them a health check daily if you can, to keep tabs on them. But unfortunately this is something they sadly do.

2. You feel your bond with Dougal isn't as strong. I was actually in your position a few weeks ago. I had two guineas, Sweetpea and Fern, and sadly Sweetpea stopped eating for several weeks and with no response to meds I had to let her go (also at a horrifically young age) . To be really honest I felt more of a connection with Sweetpea as she was the friendlier and more interactive of the two. However, through Sweetpea's sickness and her absence, me and Fern have become impossibly close. She has really, really squirreled away into my heart and I'd be lost without her at this point. Think of this as a opportunity to get closer to Dougal and work with him a bit more, you can be really surprised at the results! It is hard as you may be wishing for Ted, but each guinea is so unique and has so much to offer if you give them love, time and patience.

3. The fear of replacing them - okay this one is really hard. But fundamentally your Dougal needs a friend. As much attention as we would like to give, we can't speak guinea and they really need company to thrive. Think of it for the meantime that you're doing right by Dougal, and Ted too who wouldn't want his brother to be alone. You need to give space for Dougal's needs, but also understanding for yourself that your grieving process will be longer. You might not get attached to the new piggie immediately but just try to spend time with them one on one when you can, and their personality will slowly come out and I'm sure you'll find what's to love about them. You're not replacing Ted, you're looking after his brother and making sure he's not alone.

Overall having guineas is incredibly rewarding and they give so so much for small creatures, but loving them can be complicated when they pass. And that's okay, just give yourself the time and space to feel what you feel, but also make sure you're still interacting with them when you can as getting to know the new piggie will definitely help. I'm still in the process of finding Fern a friend as she had a failed bonding recently so I completely understand this is easier said than done. Remember you loved Ted completely and he'll always be grateful for your care.

As for your concerns about what caused his passing I'm afraid I'm not knowledgeable enough on heart issues to estimate or comment, if he passed that quickly I doubt there was more you could have done. Things you could do are research specialist vets in your area or make sure you have one with guinea pig experience for any future trips, there's lots of resources on this forum for that. You could also get in touch with a local rescue who could recommend vets they trust. Then you know you've prepared for any eventualities. But I'm afraid it sounds like whatever Ted was bothered by happened very quickly and likely wouldn't have resolved itself once he was showing he was struggling.

Big hugs! I'm sorry for your loss. Best of luck with the new piggie and Dougal! You did all you could and Ted is up there looking out for you. xx
If you have any questions or need support feel free to reach out!
 
I’m so sorry you lost Ted, sending big hugs to you. It’s so sad and shocking when a piggie suddenly dies like this. I always think most people think “if only” or “what did I miss there?” but really don’t blame yourself. You did everything you could have done and Ted was loved and had a happy life, he will have known just how much you loved and cared for him x
Sleep tight Ted 🌈
 
So sorry for your loss.
As guinea pigs are at the bottom of the food chain they are very, very good at hiding illness.
Many of us hear understand how you feel because we too have asked the same questions.
Wondering and what ifs are a natural part of grief.
Continue to talk it out here.
We understand how big a place in our hearts these little creatures occupy.
Remember the happiness and love you shared and be kind to yourself as you grieve.

Try not to worry about your bond with Dougal. You clearly love him and every relationship with a piggy is different. They are unique characters. It’s just like human relationships- all are different.

Hugs :hug:
 
Thanks for all your kind messages everyone, I really appreciate it.

I see other people online with piggies who are 6, 7 years old and can't help but wonder if I did something wrong. I so wish Ted could have lived longer, too.


People around me just don't seem to understand me grieving as Ted was 'just a guinea pig'. To me, he was part of the family and I miss him very much. It is great to talk to people who understand how special piggies are and what big personalities they have.
 
Don’t compare Ted to those piggies who do have long lives.
There are as many younger pig losses.
Every one is different so treasure the time you had with Ted.
We certainly know that Ted wasn’t ‘just a guinea pig’!
 
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. It wasn't your fault, you did everything you could. He lived a very happy life and guinea pigs don't measure their lives in years. They remember all the happy days they had and all the lovely vegetables they received and mostly the care that you showed them and how you never let them down x
 
Hi 💕

How are your boys doing? It is SO hard to have to get a new piggie right away. It goes against everything I was taught about pets, grief and "replacing" but we all know how important it is for them to have a friend.

I lost my girl Buttercup (in my profile pic) on November 1. We got her cagemate, Kona, a new partner November 12. I worry about bonding with her myself. I feel guilty being disappointed that she doesn't seem like she will be a pig that will allow petting in the cage. I feel guilty because Buttercup DID let us pet her and it was so amazing. But I remind myself, the new piggie is here first and foremost for Kona 💕 AND that me loving the new piggie doesn't mean I'm not loyal to my Buttercup.

And add me to the list of those wondering if I could have done more to save a piggie. Buttercup had a year of bladder infections and another 6 months of issues before she lost the battle.

I was JUST feeling bad about the possibility that it all stemmed from me leaving too much parsley (high calcium, BAD for bladder pigs) in the fridge for the pet sitter when we went away for a week in June 2020 and not specific enough instructions on how much to give. It ended up being way too much and she had a bad flare that led to IC and stones and I feel like she could still be here if I hadn't made that mistake 😭
 
Scooter Pie said:
Hi 💕

How are your boys doing? It is SO hard to have to get a new piggie right away. It goes against everything I was taught about pets, grief and "replacing" but we all know how important it is for them to have a friend.

I lost my girl Buttercup (in my profile pic) on November 1. We got her cagemate, Kona, a new partner November 12. I worry about bonding with her myself. I feel guilty being disappointed that she doesn't seem like she will be a pig that will allow petting in the cage. I feel guilty because Buttercup DID let us pet her and it was so amazing. But I remind myself, the new piggie is here first and foremost for Kona 💕 AND that me loving the new piggie doesn't mean I'm not loyal to my Buttercup.

And add me to the list of those wondering if I could have done more to save a piggie. Buttercup had a year of bladder infections and another 6 months of issues before she lost the battle.

I was JUST feeling bad about the possibility that it all stemmed from me leaving too much parsley (high calcium, BAD for bladder pigs) in the fridge for the pet sitter when we went away for a week in June 2020 and not specific enough instructions on how much to give. It ended up being way too much and she had a bad flare that led to IC and stones and I feel like she could still be here if I hadn't made that mistake 😭
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So sorry for your loss 😔 I am sure you would have everything in your power to save your piggie and that she was very loved.

It was so difficult to get a new piggie straight away, it still feels wrong but Dougal needed a friend. They seem to be getting along well so far, fingers crossed it stays that way. I am finding it very hard to not compare Dougal and his new friend to Ted. Ted was so sweet and loved a cuddle and he was very calm. Dougal is a bit more independent and the new baby pig is just a constantly wheeking ball of energy so it's a very different dynamic and will take some getting used to.

It just feels so unfair that Ted only got a year to enjoy his life and I keep thinking he should still be here but there is nothing I can do to bring him back. I'm sure it will get better over time but at the moment I am still having a cry every day.

I hope your piggies are getting on well?
 
I am so very sorry for your loss of Ted :( Please don’t feel guilty. You took him to the vets when you noticed something was wrong and that is all you can do. Guinea pigs hide illnesses very well and go downhill so fast, there really is no more you could have done.

As for getting Dougal an new friend, it may seem too soon but you have put Dougal’s best interests first which shows what a dedicated owner you are. When my first piggy Connie died, I had a new friend lined up for Eliza within two weeks of her passing. It did seem too soon but it was the best decision for Eliza who was depressed and withdrawn until Eleanor came along.

Try not to think of all the what ifs and rest assured that there really is no more you could have done. Cherish the memories of Ted and enjoy Dougal and his new friend x
 
I went to the cats' home the day after my cat died, to choose new cats. I mentioned feeling guilty about getting new cats to the lady who runs it, and she knew exactly what I meant (most pet owners will, because we've all felt it!). She said to me that it wasn't a betrayal, it was doing my duty to the animals. I had a vacancy, so I was doing exactly the right thing, and opening up a space at the home for other needy cats.
I often think of what she said, when faced with a loss, and have also noticed that when I do get a new pet after a loss, the new pet soon worms their way in to my heart, just as the old one had. It's not wrong to miss your pets, nor is it wrong to love other animals too.
I'm sorry for the loss of Ted, he looks like a proper sweetie in that pic and I'm not surprised you are finding this hard x
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you did everything you could, please don't blame yourself. Guinea pigs have a tendency to decline very quickly and to show few or no early signs of illness (the last piggy I lost, though elderly, seemed fine until literally a couple hours before passing. Ate her treats and was puttering as normal at dinner, passed away in the early hours of the morning.) It really wasn't anything you did wrong. Big ((HUGS)) to you.
 
JosieK said:
View attachment 193604

Dougal and the new baby

View attachment 193605

Ted and Dougal
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Oh my gosh...Dougal could be Buttercup's brother! Buttercup and Kona

3AED73A1-2180-4789-A619-76305DC37E9D.webp

Our situations are so similar. Kona also does not like to cuddle and the new baby Peggy is definitely a wheeking ball of energy! She runs laps every morning!

My Kona was adopted after Buttercup lost her twin sister Nutmeg. Kona had also lost a friend and was alone for a while at her original home. When we adopted her, her sides were almost completely bald from self-barbering due to depression, and she was under 700g.

It was incredible to watch her transformation. She stopped barbering once she bonded with Buttercup and is now 1000g! So once she was alone again we just had to push ahead with finding someone for her. Being alone nearly killed her!

Kona and Peggy 💕
4F42BB2A-6510-4409-882D-F18DC2760656.webp
 
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. You sound like and amazing owner and it 100% was not your fault xx
But I completely understand your guilt. I’m also going though guilt and ‘what ifs’ at the moment too.. I lost my precious girly Mary a few days ago to bloat. I can’t stop wondering ‘what if I’d noticed sooner’ ‘what if I hadn’t given her watermelon’ ..’maybe if I hadn’t changed her favourite water bottle..’
It’s torture, my stomach keeps going over. I feel like it’s my fault. Was I not paying enough attention?

I blame myself everytime I loose an animal, it’s natural..I think? But it eats away at me. It weighs me down. It’s hard to accept
 
Here’s an idea for everyone at the feeling guilty stage of grief.
Find some small stones or pebbles.
Think of each one as a ‘what if….?’
Whenever you feel that guilt put a stone into a bowl and think of the feeling being washed away.

This is a normal part of grief and it’s never easy to deal with but sometimes a physical action helps.
 
JosieK you did your part and more than me. I too feel guilt, one of my almost 5 year old boars had deteriorated health. He had a running nose most of his life which I had taken him to the vet some years ago for, but it didn't help. Then his health deteriorated further, some occasional loss of balance, don't remember when it started, maybe 6 months ago. But he was still eating and pooping and otherwise fairly active. So I failed to take notice of how serious it was and didn't bring him to the vet at all. He died suddenly in the boxing week and I was devastated. The last memory was him biting my finger as I was saying goodbye because I was going out to meet some friends. He rarely bites unless he things my fingers are veggies, so I felt like it was him telling me he was dying. My only relief was that the prior couple of days he had received extra amount of lettuce and veggies as a christmas holiday treat.
 
Hannah_xx said:
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. You sound like and amazing owner and it 100% was not your fault xx
But I completely understand your guilt. I’m also going though guilt and ‘what ifs’ at the moment too.. I lost my precious girly Mary a few days ago to bloat. I can’t stop wondering ‘what if I’d noticed sooner’ ‘what if I hadn’t given her watermelon’ ..’maybe if I hadn’t changed her favourite water bottle..’
It’s torture, my stomach keeps going over. I feel like it’s my fault. Was I not paying enough attention?

I blame myself everytime I loose an animal, it’s natural..I think? But it eats away at me. It weighs me down. It’s hard to accept
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I'm sorry for your loss of Mary. For me, the hardest part is not knowing exactly what was wrong with Ted and I keep trying to remember the weeks before he died, to see if I missed anything. It's exhausting. I also keep looking at old pictures and videos, I find it very hard to accept that I will never see him again 😔
 
Scooter Pie said:
Oh my gosh...Dougal could be Buttercup's brother! Buttercup and Kona

View attachment 193674

Our situations are so similar. Kona also does not like to cuddle and the new baby Peggy is definitely a wheeking ball of energy! She runs laps every morning!

My Kona was adopted after Buttercup lost her twin sister Nutmeg. Kona had also lost a friend and was alone for a while at her original home. When we adopted her, her sides were almost completely bald from self-barbering due to depression, and she was under 700g.

It was incredible to watch her transformation. She stopped barbering once she bonded with Buttercup and is now 1000g! So once she was alone again we just had to push ahead with finding someone for her. Being alone nearly killed her!

Kona and Peggy 💕
View attachment 193675
Click to expand...

Oh wow, Buttercup does look so much like Dougal!

It's so sad losing a piggie, for me it was the first pet loss in about 12 years and very sudden so I was not prepared to feel this devastated.

I wish you all the best with Kona and Peggy, they are lovely ❤️
 
Hairy said:
JosieK you did your part and more than me. I too feel guilt, one of my almost 5 year old boars had deteriorated health. He had a running nose most of his life which I had taken him to the vet some years ago for, but it didn't help. Then his health deteriorated further, some occasional loss of balance, don't remember when it started, maybe 6 months ago. But he was still eating and pooping and otherwise fairly active. So I failed to take notice of how serious it was and didn't bring him to the vet at all. He died suddenly in the boxing week and I was devastated. The last memory was him biting my finger as I was saying goodbye because I was going out to meet some friends. He rarely bites unless he things my fingers are veggies, so I felt like it was him telling me he was dying. My only relief was that the prior couple of days he had received extra amount of lettuce and veggies as a christmas holiday treat.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry for you loss. I am sure your piggie was very loved and well cared for. I too try to think about the good times and how spoilt and happy Ted was. It does help a bit with the heartache of losing him.
 
Hairy said:
JosieK you did your part and more than me. I too feel guilt, one of my almost 5 year old boars had deteriorated health. He had a running nose most of his life which I had taken him to the vet some years ago for, but it didn't help. Then his health deteriorated further, some occasional loss of balance, don't remember when it started, maybe 6 months ago. But he was still eating and pooping and otherwise fairly active. So I failed to take notice of how serious it was and didn't bring him to the vet at all. He died suddenly in the boxing week and I was devastated. The last memory was him biting my finger as I was saying goodbye because I was going out to meet some friends. He rarely bites unless he things my fingers are veggies, so I felt like it was him telling me he was dying. My only relief was that the prior couple of days he had received extra amount of lettuce and veggies as a christmas holiday treat.
Click to expand...
So sorry, you weren’t to know. I think most people feel that same guilt or what if’s, it’s natural, and a sign you cared so much x
 
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