How do humans even function? A question from Bann and Camowen.

[Lorcan]

To all the guinea pigs, bunnies, fish, lizards, snakes, dogs, cats, birds, horses, and any other animals we may have missed out there -

How do humans actually manage to make it through the day without dying? Because ours has clearly got a problem. He left it til the last minute last night to do a Tesco order for today and although he swears he bought less than usual, the fridge is apparently overflowing. Again. He also realised as soon as he'd finalised the order he'd forgotten to add puppy pads so he went back and did that (and bought himself something called ice cream too. What's ice cream?).

Today his order turns up, with veggies, ice cream, puppy pads and wood shavings. Wait, wood shavings? But he's just had a delivery from Nature's Own with wood shavings in it yesterday! Delivered before he made the order! Then once all the shopping is in, he notices a basket on top of the Nature's Own box that has a full pack of puppy pads in it. He still had half a pack upstairs. He didn't need another pack! Oh but the best bit. Not only does he now have two large Snowflake packs AND two packs of Nature's Own woodshavings, but it turns out he still had two packs of Snowflake hidden behind some sheets of cardboard that he'd forgotten about.

Humans. Who needs them?

 

[Siikibam]

Humans would be useless if it weren’t for us slaves. I sometimes wonder what mine is thinking or what her logic is. I can never figure it out because there IS no logic. As I need to keep her sweet, I just keep my thoughts to myself!

Yours,
Sir Toff, managing director to this here illogically thinking slave.

 

[Adelyn]

Hello Bann and Camowen,

We often wonder the same thing. I mean, if they let us make all the decisions then life would be simple. We would own all the veggies in the world and everyone would be happy. We keep giving the slaves advice (for example,
SLAVE: "I wonder what to do. I need to pay my electricity bill but the piggies also need veggies!"
US: "You obviously need to go to the food place, swipe your magic flat card, and bring home 50 pounds of veggies. OBVIOUSLY.")

See how simple everything would be? They don't listen to us though! Oh well. I never said hoomans were smart enough to carry on an intellectual conversation.

WHEEKS,

Clover and Stella

 

[AidaB]

Dear Bann and Camowen,
We gave up trying understanding our hoomans a long time ago.
Its a shame ice cream (whatever that is!) was added to the shopping instead if more veggies, or treats.
We are struggling to plan our naps at the moment, one minute its playpen time all day, the next its just half the day.
Snacks appear at random times, but then how would we get food and comfy beds without these hoomans?
Despite the illogical thinking they are useful slaves!
Wheeks Hector and Hamish