How Do I Move On

lexi468

lexi468

Junior Guinea Pig
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I recently lost my beloved Midnight. I keep having screenplays in my head of what it was like to find him and hold him while he died. I can't imagine what it will be like without him. How do you come to terms with the fact that you will never be able to hold or touch or see your pig in this lifetime again?
 
I'm very sorry about Midnight. I've dealt with the loss of some of my pets and it's always hard to get around it... I can only tell you that it will get better with time - based off of my own experiences anyways. Just imagine that Midnight is in a better place now. If there is a life after this, then you just might see him again. I for one believe that if there is a heaven, and heaven is paradise, then everything that makes you happy will be there, including your beloved pets. For now, try doing something that you enjoy to get your mind off of Midnight, rather than dwell on it... personally, I like using adult coloring books, or doing crafty things. It might help you, but everyone's different. In reality, we all know that we (along with our guinea pigs) can't last forever. Death is one of those things you have to deal with when you have a pet. Also, rather than 'coming to terms with reality', you might want to try appreciating the good times you had with Midnight. If thinking about him at this point in time is a bit too much (it almost always is for me) then just try to sleep on it, or like I said earlier, do something that you enjoy. Let it rest for a few days, or a few weeks or even longer. Once you make it past the initial stage of 'grief' it'll be a lot easier to have these deep thoughts.

When my very first pet, (a dwarf hamster) passed, I made her a wooden coffin and gave her a proper burial. I was devastated... but anymore, whenever I think of her, it makes me happy. She was really special to me, and even though she isn't with me now, she'll always be with me in some form... even in the form of a vivid flashback...

This is really just what works for me, hopefully some of it might apply to you - I might not be the most qualified person ever to give advice, but I really hope this helps. :)
 
I was and still am devastated about a cat I lost 5 years ago. It gets easier. I talk about her whenever I feel like it. She was my best friend. It does help to think of all nice memories and cute things they did. I have a couple of pictures of her around my flat. I had to make the decision to put her to sleep and I don't regret it. She was going to be suffering for 2 more days than she had to if I hadn't. Everyone feels like this about their precious friends. I hope it gets more bearable.
 
I'm so sorry, I too keep replaying stuff in my head at the moment from when my Barley died in my arms at the vets, it does sometimes help you to process it in a way but it can tear you apart too. I think you need to give yourself time to grieve, it will get better, it may not seem like it at the moment but it does. Do you have supportive family around you? I think the Blue Cross run a pet bereavement line if it would help to talk to someone.
 
Grief comes in waves. We all work our way through it at different paces and in different ways. It’s entirely personal. No pet of mine has ever passed away unexpectedly. Every single pet I have lost has had to be PTS. Some with more notice than others. I remember them all and odd facts like what I was wearing and what music was on at the vets. I think it’s natural to replay the events. It helps us process what has happened. It takes time. But if you find you can’t move on then it’s best to seek some bereavement counselling. The loss of a much loved pet is as traumatic as losing any other family member. Hugs x
 
Thank you everybody. It's a bit easier today than it was yesterday. I'm past the guilt stage at least. I miss him a lot, but I know I did everything I could to keep him around.
Thank you for all of the advice. I had today off from work and I've just been lounging around with my boyfriend, and then it's back to work, which is a welcome distraction. I've been spending a lot of time with Midnights cage mate as well, making sure he is okay.
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one that replays these moments, and it does make sense that it's normal.
I've never really lost one of my pets before. At least not in adulthood, when they are all my sole responsibility. It's definitely harder than I ever expected it to be.
 
Hi. I hope you’re ok at work today & I hope your colleagues will understand. It is so hard losing a beloved pet. I found that framing a photo of my late Pedro helped me come to terms with his passing. Even though I’ve got loads Pedro photos on my phone somehow framing one & having it in the house where he used to live helped. Huge hugs & give Midnights cage mate an extra cuddle from me :wub: xx
 
Hoppity.K said:
Hi. I hope you’re ok at work today & I hope your colleagues will understand. It is so hard losing a beloved pet. I found that framing a photo of my late Pedro helped me come to terms with his passing. Even though I’ve got loads Pedro photos on my phone somehow framing one & having it in the house where he used to live helped. Huge hugs & give Midnights cage mate an extra cuddle from me :wub: xx
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Thank you so much! I am definitely going to frame a photo of him. When he started getting really sick my boyfriend got me a phone case with a photo of him on it. So he's always with me. I will give Mocha lots of extra cuddles!
 
I lost my cat of 18 years over a year ago and I still miss her every day. It's been really hard living without her since I had her half my life. The piggies have bought such joy to my life since I got them and I love them dearly but they will never replace my cat. When she died I had my favourite photo of her developed and framed and now she hangs in the living room looking over everyone. Not sure she would be at all impressed with the piggies though lol.
 
I'm so sorry. I know that some pet deaths have hit me harder than others, but it's never easy. Probably the hardest one for me was my pig Linney- she was the last of my original pair of pigs, we had her for almost 7 years, and she was such a wonderful girl. I still miss her acutely some days, but it does get easier with time. I think for myself, it helped me the most to give myself permission to grieve, to realize it was going to take time and to give myself that time, and to do something in her memory. I have a piggie memory wall on top of my desk where I have a framed photo of all the pigs I've lost, so I can look up right now and see her photo. She's not forgotten. I still miss her, but in the time since she has passed it has become much easier for me to move from feeling sad that she's gone to feeling blessed that she was here.

Just to add, my kids always insisted on giving the pigs first and middle names (presumably because they had first and middle names and when they were young, they felt like the pigs should have the same.) So we have paid tribute to past pigs by using the same middle name every time in memory of the pig who came before them. So we had Linney Cupcake, and now have Hadley Cupcake in her memory. We had Sundae Vanilla and now have Leela Vanilla. I think that paying the names forward helped me in my grieving, especially since we always quickly got another guinea pig to keep our remaining pig company after a loss. It's kind of a way of saying that we didn't forget.
 
One way I find helps deal with the death of a loved animal is giving them a lovely burial and plant a lovely flowering plant or bush above the grave sight,
This helps me grieve because even after death they are creating something beautiful i can look at each year to rememeber them by.

My beautiful Jeliza who was my first Hamster is buried under a lavender bush,
Taini my first GP is under a pink dianthus bush and Georgia my second GP to go is under a red flowering bush, I'm not sure what type it is but it's very beautiful.

Each year as they flower and grow it reminds me that even though my girls are gone they are making something beautiful for me to rememeber them by. :) :)
 
Hi, it's never easy. When I suddenly lost my piggies I had to organise cremation via email as I couldn't talk. My partner had to come with me, yet I still broke in tears. Employees were very supportive and knew exactly what to do. I couldn't go pick their ashes so it helped he was there for me to do it. I've buried their ashes in little tubes in our special garden pot where I've been planting their favourite veg, fruit since. They're not forgotten, but over time I've learned to cope with their death better.
It helps if you have someone there for you, keep busy.
I've always had multi pet household, so them passing behind rainbow bridge has been part of the package. Be it gerbil or a dog, I loved them all!
Sometimes it took me longer to feel prepared for new arrival, took me 8yrs after losing my beloved dog, but there is so much out there that awaits you and gives you reason to keep going! You just need to find it and I hope you do ❤
 
Losing a animal is never easy in a few months try getting another animal not to replace midnight but it helps to know u are helping more animals
lexi468 said:
I recently lost my beloved Midnight. I keep having screenplays in my head of what it was like to find him and hold him while he died. I can't imagine what it will be like without him. How do you come to terms with the fact that you will never be able to hold or touch or see your pig in this lifetime again?
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So sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a much loved pet, I lost my Fred two weeks ago. I think everything you are feeling is natural and a part of the process. I try to think and focus on the love and the good life I gave my pet's, but it is hard.
I also have a memory box, filled with favourite photos, a paw print cast in clay and a snippet of their hair. Sometimes I find it helps to just hold these things in hands and remember.
Sleep tight little Midnight.x
 
I know it has been a few months, but I just wanted to say thank you again to everybody that lended me their support after I lost Midnight. I still miss him every day, but I too have gone from being sad, to incredibly greatful that I had the time with him that I did. He inspired me to become a veterinary assistant, and I have begun studying for that, so I can't wait for the day I can meet so many pigs just like him that need somebody to advocate for them. He led me to my passion and I am forever greatful for that.
 
Congratulations and well done on your new course of study.
Hope it goes well.
The more people in the profession who understand and appreciate all small furry pets the better.
Glad to know your grief for Midnight is working through, it will still take time
 
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