How To Help A Friend In Need

[Skittypigs]

hi all, I need to ask some advice from this friendly forum. Without going into too much detail I have a friend struggling with mental health problems. She has 4 male piggies living in 2 pairs. I visit her for a couple of hours every week for cuppa and any support I can be. The piggies are not ill treated but missing out on interaction. It has become a situation where I clean them every week for her, i do my own twice but with work and my own family commitments I can't fit in a second visit to do it. I have been doing this for probably 6 months and now my friend has asked if I can take them? I know she has asked because of my love for animals but I feel upset that she's asked as I feel guilty that I can't help. With the best will in the world I cannot house them as I have 4 male piggies of my own as well as degu and chinchilla. any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[ChloeCee98]

Where are you from? X

 

[Wiebke]

hi all, I need to ask some advice from this friendly forum. Without going into too much detail I have a friend struggling with mental health problems. She has 4 male piggies living in 2 pairs. I visit her for a couple of hours every week for cuppa and any support I can be. The piggies are not ill treated but missing out on interaction. It has become a situation where I clean them every week for her, i do my own twice but with work and my own family commitments I can't fit in a second visit to do it. I have been doing this for probably 6 months and now my friend has asked if I can take them? I know she has asked because of my love for animals but I feel upset that she's asked as I feel guilty that I can't help. With the best will in the world I cannot house them as I have 4 male piggies of my own as well as degu and chinchilla. any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

It is always double as hard as when you get asked by somebody you care for deeply and about whose piggies you care for in a very personal way (I know; I've been there, too!).

I can well understand why your friend has asked you - she trusts you implicitly and doesn't lose access to her piggies completely if they stay with you.

But it is tough and a lot more work (and cost) going from 4 piggies to 8 on top of your continuing commitments. you are well within your rights and do not need to have a bad conscience when you state that your current pets are all you can for in the way and to the degree you want to care for any pets in your house.

If you can't find homes via this forum, Wood Green in Godmanchester would the next best option.

 

[Skittypigs]

I live near Cambridge but my friend is in Royston Herts. I used to live opposite her but I moved house so the short journey makes visits less frequent as before I could just run across the road.

 

[ChloeCee98]

That's almost 4hours away from me otherwise I would have tried my best to help out! You are such a good friend, mental illness is not a nice thing my piggies are a great therapy for me but I know that sometimes when lacking motivation it's hard to get up and get things done. I hope she is feeling better soon and that you find a way to keep all the animals happy! x

 

[Skittypigs]

It is always double as hard as when you get asked by somebody you care for deeply and about whose piggies you care for in a very personal way (I know; I've been there, too!).

I can well understand why your friend has asked you - she trusts you implicitly and doesn't lose access to her piggies completely if they stay with you.

But it is tough and a lot more work (and cost) going from 4 piggies to 8 on top of your continuing commitments. you are well within your rights and do not need to have a bad conscience when you state that your current pets are all you can for in the way and to the degree you want to care for any pets in your house.

If you can't find homes via this forum, Wood Green in Godmanchester would the next best option.

I hear what you say. Can I also ask, I don't wish to sound precious or selfish but I have rehomed 4 times over the years with Wood Green and in helping my friend I don't wish to be reflected in a bad light. I mean in terms that my friend is not leaving her home and I know who this is going to come down to. I have already done vet trips for her. I know this may sound ridiculous but it concerns me how involved I get in helping. Does that make sense?

 

[ChloeCee98]

If she is able to tell her to have a look at this website - Be Mindful

Mindfulness really helped me get through a dark few years! I still use it to this day without knowing it's like just a natural thing now! It's such a good way to help yourself get better. You can also use mindfulness when caring and petting animals. give her big hugs from me and my 3 piggys x

 

[Wiebke]

I hear what you say. Can I also ask, I don't wish to sound precious or selfish but I have rehomed 4 times over the years with Wood Green and in helping my friend I don't wish to be reflected in a bad light. I mean in terms that my friend is not leaving her home and I know who this is going to come down to. I have already done vet trips for her. I know this may sound ridiculous but it concerns me how involved I get in helping. Does that make sense?

I fully understand your concerns. It is tough to support a friend with a mental illness in keeping their piggies as there comes a limit as to how much time and care you yourself can invest, especially when you are doing it long term. You are already giving a lot. I am also aware that offering her piggies to you is a cry for help in diguise and that your friend wants in the first line an assurance that her - likely much loved - piggies don't suffer in any way.

I haven't meant my advice badly, as I have no idea in which state your friend is in and how well she is to continue looking after her piggies on a daily basis; I have just been working my way down the line of potential resources on the piggy side if your friend is truly unable to look after her pets and you cannot back her up for any longer spell.
Perhaps it may better in looking for help to support your friend via a mental illness support charity, so she is able to hang onto her piggies. I know how bad the ongoing cuts in the mental health sector are affecting support and any care for long term sufferers and how badly stretched resources are.

 

[Skittypigs]

That's almost 4hours away from me otherwise I would have tried my best to help out! You are such a good friend, mental illness is not a nice thing my piggies are a great therapy for me but I know that sometimes when lacking motivation it's hard to get up and get things done. I hope she is feeling better soon and that you find a way to keep all the animals happy! x

Mental illness... A lot of us have been there, my animals really help me but I guess it depends where your at. X

 

[Skittypigs]

I fully understand your concerns. It is tough to support a friend with a mental illness in keeping their piggies as there comes a limit as to how much time and care you yourself can invest, especially when you are doing it long term. You are already giving a lot. I am also aware that offering her piggies to you is a cry for help in diguise and that your friend wants in the first line an assurance that her - likely much loved - piggies don't suffer in any way.

I haven't meant my advice badly, as I have no idea in which state your friend is in and how well she is to continue looking after her piggies on a daily basis; I have just been working my way down the line of potential resources on the piggy side if your friend is truly unable to look after her pets and you cannot back her up for any longer spell.
Perhaps it may better in looking for help to support your friend via a mental illness support charity, so she is able to hang onto her piggies. I know how bad the ongoing cuts in the mental health sector are affecting support and any care for long term sufferers and how badly stretched resources are.

No advice taken badly, I think she is admitting there too much, I,m happy to help her, I just mean there's no visible change in the situation.