I killed my guinea pig

[Sweet Potato]

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've had to go through. I hope that in time you can find peace in the joyful times you spent together and focus less on the sadness and guilt of how it ended.

 

[artcasper]

You poor thing.. such a tragic accident.. you clearly loved your piggy.. remember the good times.. xx

 

[danuutka]

You poor thing.. such a tragic accident.. you clearly loved your piggy.. remember the good times.. xx

I love him more than I could ever describe. He was my best friend. My days revolves around him and his brother, but his brother is a shy piggy who prefers to be loved from a distance. Every time I try to remember the good times, I just cry because it hurt my heart to know that there aren’t going to be any more. And all I can ever remember is how it felt when my foot touched him, and how he looked dying in my arms

 

[danuutka]

My

HUGS

It is not an easy process to eventually make peace with the fact that your large clumsy human body was the instrument of his death (in combination with your little boy making a wrong instinctive decision) - but crucially NEITHER your heart or mind have been involved in this action.

Please call the free Blue Cross pet bereavement helpline during daytime hours. Forum members that have struggled to cope with the loss of their piggy (not rarely after an accident) have all come back to us with a positive experience, including those who like you suffer from Mental Health problems. The more you can talk, the better you can
Here is the link: Pet Bereavement and Pet Loss

Here is what you can do for the companion now and in the coming days. He has to do his own grieving, but when he is over that by next week, you can contact Milhaven Guinea Pig Rescue in Keighley to find him a suitable companion of his own choice so you do not have to worry about getting a new piggy on spec and failed intros.
Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig

my heart hurts thinking about getting a new pig because it feels like I’m replacing Benio. He didn’t deserve to die so young, he was the most precious soul loved by my whole family, and now he’s been taken away. I woke up this morning hoping that I would still hear his squeaks, and nothing has prepared me for how empty I feel without him being part of my routine. When I close my eyes all I can see is him taking his last breaths, with his eyes rolling back dying in my arms while I was trying to revive him. These flashbacks are absolutely killing me.

 

[Darcey15]

My

my heart hurts thinking about getting a new pig because it feels like I’m replacing Benio. He didn’t deserve to die so young, he was the most precious soul loved by my whole family, and now he’s been taken away. I woke up this morning hoping that I would still hear his squeaks, and nothing has prepared me for how empty I feel without him being part of my routine. When I close my eyes all I can see is him taking his last breaths, with his eyes rolling back dying in my arms while I was trying to revive him. These flashbacks are absolutely killing me.

It will become easier but you are doing the right thing talking about it. Have you called the bereavement line as that might help alot. Also, do you still have the 2 other piggies you got back in November as well as Ozzie? If you have more piggies to take care of, they should bring you comfort during this sad time. Hugs x

 

[danuutka]

It will become easier but you are doing the right thing talking about it. Have you called the bereavement line as that might help alot. Also, do you still have the 2 other piggies you got back in November as well as Ozzie? If you have more piggies to take care of, they should bring you comfort during this sad time. Hugs x

I only have Ozzie. My boyfriend who lives in a different house has two piggies, and I’m wondering if we should allow Ozzie to be around them for a few hours a day so he isn’t alone. Benio was a lone pig for about a year, but Ozzie hasn’t ever been alone so I’m worried about doing right by him. He seems okay right now, he’s eating and drinking and popcorning, but he never saw Benio dead so I’m not sure if he knows x

 

[Piggies&buns]

I only have Ozzie. My boyfriend who lives in a different house has two piggies, and I’m wondering if we should allow Ozzie to be around them for a few hours a day so he isn’t alone. Benio was a lone pig for about a year, but Ozzie hasn’t ever been alone so I’m worried about doing right by him. He seems okay right now, he’s eating and drinking and popcorning, but he never saw Benio dead so I’m not sure if he knows x

This wouldn’t be a good idea - piggies don’t do those kinds of meetings, it is stressful to meet and then be separated even if it is only through bars. He would then go back to being alone when you took him back home. If your boyfriends piggies are boys then ozzie cannot be put with them anyway - three boys together almost always results in fights and in the worst case scenario has the potential to break the bond between your boyfriends two piggies.

 

[danuutka]

This wouldn’t be a good idea - piggies don’t do those kinds of meetings, it is stressful to meet and then be separated even if it is only through bars. He would then go back to being alone when you took him back home. If your boyfriends piggies are boys then ozzie cannot be put with them anyway - three boys together almost always results in fights and in the worst case scenario has the potential to break the bond between your boyfriends two piggies.

Thank you for the advice, it’s really insightful. I think I’m still in shock after yesterday, so I’m not thinking clearly, and I just want to do the best I can by Ozzie because I let his brother down so badly.

 

[Darcey15]

You have piggie rescues not too far from you when you are ready to find him a friend- they do boar dating- this way, Ozzie can choose his own companion. It might be too soon for you yet but when you feel up to it it will definately give you something positive and incredibly exciting to focus on (especially after exams too!). The other option is to have your piggie neutered and bring in a lady friend (or two)...depending on what you can manage. There are all sorts of things you can do to bring some joy to your furry friend and you, but I'd give yourself some much needed time first ❤

 

[Wiebke]

My

my heart hurts thinking about getting a new pig because it feels like I’m replacing Benio. He didn’t deserve to die so young, he was the most precious soul loved by my whole family, and now he’s been taken away. I woke up this morning hoping that I would still hear his squeaks, and nothing has prepared me for how empty I feel without him being part of my routine. When I close my eyes all I can see is him taking his last breaths, with his eyes rolling back dying in my arms while I was trying to revive him. These flashbacks are absolutely killing me.

HUGS

Have you talked to the Blue Cross pet bereavement line to help deal with your obvious trauma distress as quickly as possible?
Or used one of the mental health crisis helplines?

The more you can talk it out of your mind, the less bad it is going to be for you. If you are suffering from a mental health problem, a loss is usually harder to process; especially a traumatic one like yours. The more proactive you are on this score, the better you can learn build up positive coping strategies and mental exercises to counter the flashbacks.
Please get help to help yourself quickly. The pet bereavement line is open daily during opening hours. The more you can talk now, the less your open wound can start to fester. Help the wound to bleed through your words and wash out the pain and the trauma before it can get infected; if that image is helping you.
https://www.bluecross.org.uk/sites/default/files/downloads/The Pet Bereavement Support Service.pdf


Of course it is far too soon for you to think about companionship - but you are not doing this for yourself.
You are doing this strictly for the mental health and general wellbeing of a pet in your care because his species needs differ from your own needs radically in this area. Guinea pigs don't grieve any less deeply but they cannot afford to grieve as long and slowly as us humans because their survival instinct is stronger. And they are far more dependant on companionship than us; especially at this young age.

If Ozzie is not eating/drinking, then he is what we call acutely pining and needs feeding support and companionship asap.

If Ozzie is just withdrawn but eating and drinking normally, then he can wait for 1-4 weeks while you arrange a rescue bonding slot for him. Milhaven offers residential bonding, so you do not have to be there and do not have to get emotionally involved in the choice. Any new piggy will be Ozzie's alone and will become yours only once you are emotionally ready for him.

But please do NOT rush out and burden yourself with an introduction that can easily go wrong if it is too early still for grieving Ozzie or if the two personalities clash. Leave that painful task for somebody who knows what they are about (especially as you are so lucky to have the perfect place for that so close by in Milhaven Guinea Pig Rescue!) The rescue will also be there to help with and emergency over acutely pining piggies (which will profit from companion within a week), especially as in your case there is no question over a potential risk.

You do not have to love the new companion or try to build up a relationship until it happens on its own in its own time some weeks or months down the line; usually without you noticing and in an entirely different way that has nothing to do with the love you have lost. You won't likely even recognise it as love for quite some time until the realisation that it has actually already happened all by itself smacks you in the face! But it is a heart-healer in its very own, slow, very unspectacular and rather surprising way that is going to help you in the long term and that will help to ease your burden of guilt.

Don't see a new piggy as a replacement (which he will never be as he as each bond is unique and ties into a different place in your heart) but as a measure you take to honour your Benio by making sure that his friend is not suffering from the fallout of the accident any more than necessary and that his own species needs are not overlooked because of your own overwhelming pain. That is all that there is to it.

And all that is required of you after the bonding is that you make sure that they are fed, cleaned and groomed and have regular exercise time - but in a way that can preferably prevent a repeat of the accident for your own peace of mind! Ozzie will have his own friend to help him through his loss and take care of his own emotional needs, so you can stop worrying about him.

As @Claire W (who herself has killed one of her piggies in an accident when she suddenly blacked out on the stairs and fell head first over the railing into the piggy run two years ago) and @David Piggie Lover (who has been struggling badly with his own losses) and other forum members who have gone through comparable experiences can tell you, making sure that you put other affected beings' own needs before your own is important and is part of helping yourself to cope with the guilt you are feeling - but in a way that allows you to be entirely free to go through the grieving process in your own time and way as YOU need it. Just without the added guilt of failing the other piggy in your care and all that entails.
You may find that this very thoughtful and very honest thread here and the ensuing discussion from another forum member facing your dilemma not once but twice in quick succession can help you understand better: On grief, and hope

And having gone through acute pet bereavement for my own very special bigger-than-life piggy Minx, who was one of my first piggy pair when I came back to keeping them again as adult, I do understand very much how painful this process is and how long it takes to make some kind of truce and hopefully eventually peace with what has happened. None of the about 70 piggies that have come into my life since have ever come close to taking her place in my heart - but I then I never wanted them to; and I have taken my own piggy journey into an entirely different and in its own way very fulfilling journey since.

But not having had any understanding or support in those pre-forum days, I can't but urge you to seek help as quickly and immediately as possible. I would also encourage you to please read our grieving and bereavement care guides. there is a lot of thought and painful personal experiences gone into them; they will hopefully help you to understand your experiences and feelings now but also in the coming weeks and months and to be able to put them into perspective.
Once you have taken care of your remaining boy's own species needs, you will have the time and the freedom to concentrate fully on your own grieving and trauma; the sooner you start getting help for this process, the better for yourself!
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig

Right now, you are far too raw to be able to look far ahead, but making sure that you put the essentials in place within the next week to make your own journey without any unnecessary added baggage is going to help you massively in the longer term.


BIG HUGS

 

[David Piggie Lover]

Thank you for the advice, it’s really insightful. I think I’m still in shock after yesterday, so I’m not thinking clearly, and I just want to do the best I can by Ozzie because I let his brother down so badly.

You didn't let his brother down at all. piggies sometimes move on quickly and i hope and I'm sure with your love Ozzie will be ok.
I have a piggie Heidi who last year lost her 2 life long pals but she's amazing and very loving so be kind to yourself and hugs

 

[Wiebke]

I only have Ozzie. My boyfriend who lives in a different house has two piggies, and I’m wondering if we should allow Ozzie to be around them for a few hours a day so he isn’t alone. Benio was a lone pig for about a year, but Ozzie hasn’t ever been alone so I’m worried about doing right by him. He seems okay right now, he’s eating and drinking and popcorning, but he never saw Benio dead so I’m not sure if he knows x

Hi!

Ozzie can go and live next to your boyfriends' piggies for temporary companionship and interaction in order to prevent him from pining acutely and address his urgent needs that are in conflict with your own at this moment if necessary. Your boyfriend may also be able to make any necessary arrangements for Ozzie on your behalf so you do not have to develop more guilt over him.

But what you cannot do with guinea pigs is 'playtime'. Every meeting is a full-on bonding session with all that entails ans which is then aborted right in the middle - it is a VERY frustrating experience for the piggies involved (making Ozzie feel even more alone when coming home to you) and it can risk your boyfriend's pair from falling out with each other.
Unfortunately guinea pigs do tick very differently to humans when it comes to society, interaction and companionship - and that is never as painfully obvious to us as after an unexpected loss we grapple with badly.
Adding More Guinea Pigs Or Merging Pairs – What Works And What Not?

It is not at all about you letting Ozzie down (you are a caring. loving owner or you wouldn't feel this monumental guilt in the first instance!) but all about working out a way of addressing your very differing and clashing needs in a way that is doable and fair to both sides at this difficult time.

 

[Claire W]

You didn’t let Ozzie down. This was a freak accident. Give him lots of love and cuddles x