Laurenchappell
New Born Pup
Hi firstly I apologise for my punctuation and spelling its something I struggle with.
So Thursday morning around 9.31am my baby cookie was put to sleep.
I am broken beyond words I've honestly never cried so much in my life. I haven't ate since, I feel sick, I can see my heart beating through my clothing. I feel like my whole world has come crashing down.
3 guinea pigs and all 3 are rescues but cookie and anakin were rescued from the same place a rescue centre I was told they were rescued from a hoarder, missing bits from there ears from some animal attacking them and cookie even had a cut on his nose which healed after I took him home.
I was told they were around 8 months old when I got them in December last year, so I've not had them long and both are very young.
Cookie stopped eating and was poorly so I took him to the vets and they have me medication for him for a week, he started picking back up and was eating again, but his head was tilting still a little and he still had green puss and build up in one ear which I tried to get out daily but could never get it all out.
I assumed he was going to be ok. Even my son who is 13 kept telling me he's not ok but I carried on as normal.
A few days ago one of the other pigs bumped Into him and his reaction was awful he was rolling around back and forth and couldn't get up and was making sounds, I picked him up and he kept jolting. I called the vets and took him straight In they gave me pain relief and Friday afternoon he went all sluggish hardly moving and breathing heavier I covered him to try and make him comfortable and just kept my eye on him moving him away from the others so they didn't jump on him (they could see him but not get to him)
He got worse he couldn't move and couldn't stand up he was trying with his back legs but just falling and bumping. I could see his body going up and down and he felt warm.
I put him on my chest and stayed there for some time. Again my son was telling me to call the vets and I have no idea why but I said I will in the morning when their normal opening times start at 8am which i did.
I took him in and waved my child of to school first day back before going to the vets. I remember in the waiting room panicking but I dont no if I knew what was coming or not maybe subconsciously or I was indenail I dont no but as soon as I went in it was all over her face.
I should mention the women on the counter saw me stroking him inside his carrior telling him its ok and said I could bring him over she took him into the back ( I never saw him again never even got to say goodbye)
Not long after I was called in as I said it was all over her face. There is nothing more we can do we put him on the table for oxygen and he just layed there. I asked cant you give him more medication
I couldn't be with him because of something to do with the way they had to do it I'm assuming as he was so small the stuff wasn't safe for humans.
I was alone and in complete shock I left after signed what I needed to and being handed a leaflet to organise how i want to deal with his body.
I walked out towards the bus stop (we went in a taxi) slowly and trying to just breathe as tears just overwhelmed me.
I dont think they ever confirmed what was wrong but after research when he first got poorly I assumed respiratory which turned into an ear infection.
The guilt is killing me the guilt of not asking for more medication when the first week was over as I had read most people seem to get it for 2 weeks but I never questioned it.
And yes he was eating again but his ear was still full and his head was still tilting and my 13 even kept saying he's not ok and I kept shutting them down why!!
Guilt over the fact I Should have rang them right away that afternoon when he was suffering instead of waiting until the morning all those endless hours in pain and ill never no how much when it could have been an hour or so.
I feel evil
He didn't even look like cookie at that time all slumped unable to move.
I cant stop crying, I've had to call numerous helplines in an absolute state because the pain is so unbearable.
I've never experienced death even at 31 I was only around 12 when my grandad died and I dont remember
I knew they would all pass at some point but I never expected it so early on
I have bpd which makes my emotions so intense and I struggle to regulate them and severe anxiety.
I feel like I cant breathe myself from the sheer pain
I cant get his face out of my head and the images of those last hours and how bad he was.
I cant knock the guilt and wondering if he could talk would he have been saying why aren't you doing anything, mum it hurts so much please help me, I thought you loved me,
I've never felt pain like this. Panic attacks and feeling like I'm going to collapse because my baby has gone and ill never see him again.
I just want to go back in time and atleast get him to the vets right away to end that suffering faster
I dont no how I'm ever going to function
I miss him so much the place isn't the same without him. He is the personality the only one who wouldn't move when you went near him. Who would love getting under my duvet and sleeping
Cookie I'm so sorry and I love you sooo much
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
So Thursday morning around 9.31am my baby cookie was put to sleep.
I am broken beyond words I've honestly never cried so much in my life. I haven't ate since, I feel sick, I can see my heart beating through my clothing. I feel like my whole world has come crashing down.
3 guinea pigs and all 3 are rescues but cookie and anakin were rescued from the same place a rescue centre I was told they were rescued from a hoarder, missing bits from there ears from some animal attacking them and cookie even had a cut on his nose which healed after I took him home.
I was told they were around 8 months old when I got them in December last year, so I've not had them long and both are very young.
Cookie stopped eating and was poorly so I took him to the vets and they have me medication for him for a week, he started picking back up and was eating again, but his head was tilting still a little and he still had green puss and build up in one ear which I tried to get out daily but could never get it all out.
I assumed he was going to be ok. Even my son who is 13 kept telling me he's not ok but I carried on as normal.
A few days ago one of the other pigs bumped Into him and his reaction was awful he was rolling around back and forth and couldn't get up and was making sounds, I picked him up and he kept jolting. I called the vets and took him straight In they gave me pain relief and Friday afternoon he went all sluggish hardly moving and breathing heavier I covered him to try and make him comfortable and just kept my eye on him moving him away from the others so they didn't jump on him (they could see him but not get to him)
He got worse he couldn't move and couldn't stand up he was trying with his back legs but just falling and bumping. I could see his body going up and down and he felt warm.
I put him on my chest and stayed there for some time. Again my son was telling me to call the vets and I have no idea why but I said I will in the morning when their normal opening times start at 8am which i did.
I took him in and waved my child of to school first day back before going to the vets. I remember in the waiting room panicking but I dont no if I knew what was coming or not maybe subconsciously or I was indenail I dont no but as soon as I went in it was all over her face.
I should mention the women on the counter saw me stroking him inside his carrior telling him its ok and said I could bring him over she took him into the back ( I never saw him again never even got to say goodbye)
Not long after I was called in as I said it was all over her face. There is nothing more we can do we put him on the table for oxygen and he just layed there. I asked cant you give him more medication
I couldn't be with him because of something to do with the way they had to do it I'm assuming as he was so small the stuff wasn't safe for humans.
I was alone and in complete shock I left after signed what I needed to and being handed a leaflet to organise how i want to deal with his body.
I walked out towards the bus stop (we went in a taxi) slowly and trying to just breathe as tears just overwhelmed me.
I dont think they ever confirmed what was wrong but after research when he first got poorly I assumed respiratory which turned into an ear infection.
The guilt is killing me the guilt of not asking for more medication when the first week was over as I had read most people seem to get it for 2 weeks but I never questioned it.
And yes he was eating again but his ear was still full and his head was still tilting and my 13 even kept saying he's not ok and I kept shutting them down why!!
Guilt over the fact I Should have rang them right away that afternoon when he was suffering instead of waiting until the morning all those endless hours in pain and ill never no how much when it could have been an hour or so.
I feel evil
He didn't even look like cookie at that time all slumped unable to move.
I cant stop crying, I've had to call numerous helplines in an absolute state because the pain is so unbearable.
I've never experienced death even at 31 I was only around 12 when my grandad died and I dont remember
I knew they would all pass at some point but I never expected it so early on
I have bpd which makes my emotions so intense and I struggle to regulate them and severe anxiety.
I feel like I cant breathe myself from the sheer pain
I cant get his face out of my head and the images of those last hours and how bad he was.
I cant knock the guilt and wondering if he could talk would he have been saying why aren't you doing anything, mum it hurts so much please help me, I thought you loved me,
I've never felt pain like this. Panic attacks and feeling like I'm going to collapse because my baby has gone and ill never see him again.
I just want to go back in time and atleast get him to the vets right away to end that suffering faster
I dont no how I'm ever going to function
I miss him so much the place isn't the same without him. He is the personality the only one who wouldn't move when you went near him. Who would love getting under my duvet and sleeping
Cookie I'm so sorry and I love you sooo much
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)
![Crying face :cry: 😢](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png)