I thought I'd share this, Guinea Pig poem.

flintstones

flintstones

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My brother wrote this for me -

Guinee pigs and hay small furry as can be cute and cuddly as can be.
Sometimes a wee bit smelly they like pipes and squeaking
Live like a little family
Some got patches
Some are full of character
Some don't want to be bothered
Some like attention
Some get sick
To love a Guinea you have to be groovy
If yours could talk they would say I'm glad I got you, I love you too I just can't talk to tell you I love what your all about I'm glad that you're around.

I wish that he was around, 2020 will be just one of many difficult years. I'm just glad he's free, although I miss him so much.

Sadly Pixie also left me on the same day, I hope my brother was there to greet her and that they are in a happier place.

2020 will be a different year for me and my family.

What I have realised is no one is alone, some people struggle in silence although this isn't necessary a problem shared is a problem halved don't be afraid to reach out as this only makes you stronger.
 
Sending you and your family my very best wishes. This time of year is often a time when we remember those who are no longer with us. I find the first year is the hardest with all it's first milestones, as time goes on I hope you can remember the happy times you shared.
 
flintstones said:
My brother wrote this for me -

Guinee pigs and hay small furry as can be cute and cuddly as can be.
Sometimes a wee bit smelly they like pipes and squeaking
Live like a little family
Some got patches
Some are full of character
Some don't want to be bothered
Some like attention
Some get sick
To love a Guinea you have to be groovy
If yours could talk they would say I'm glad I got you, I love you too I just can't talk to tell you I love what your all about I'm glad that you're around.

I wish that he was around, 2020 will be just one of many difficult years. I'm just glad he's free, although I miss him so much.

Sadly Pixie also left me on the same day, I hope my brother was there to greet her and that they are in a happier place.

2020 will be a different year for me and my family.

What I have realised is no one is alone, some people struggle in silence although this isn't necessary a problem shared is a problem halved don't be afraid to reach out as this only makes you stronger.
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Aww, that's made me a bit sad and made me smile at the same time. Sending you and your family love for the coming year x
 
I have tears in my eyes...u r a really strong person God bless u❤ my well wishes and prayers will be there for u and my piggy sends u love❤
 
piggieminder said:
Sending you and your family my very best wishes. This time of year is often a time when we remember those who are no longer with us. I find the first year is the hardest with all it's first milestones, as time goes on I hope you can remember the happy times you shared.
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My mother in law passed away 11th December. This Christmas has been hard for us 😢.

Edit: not trying to steal anyone's thunder or hijack their post. Just agreeing it is hard. And sad.
 
Piggylove82 said:
My mother in law passed away 11th December. This Christmas has been hard for us 😢.

Edit: not trying to steal anyone's thunder or hijack their post. Just agreeing it is hard. And sad.
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Although grief is different for everyone it's nice to not be alone in my feelings. I wish both our families strength and that we can remember our loved ones in happier times.

My brother passed away in November, he was my big brother 37 years of age. We were very different people and lived different lives but that changed for which I am glad. Our bond grew stronger and I'm thankful for that as in my grief, I don't feel blame or guilt. I just feel sadness and acceptance, I can't quite accept that forever is the now.

The one thing I wish for more than anything is that I can make the pain disappear for my parents. This is the hardest part of this forever.
 
flintstones said:
Although grief is different for everyone it's nice to not be alone in my feelings. I wish both our families strength and that we can remember our loved ones in happier times.

My brother passed away in November, he was my big brother 37 years of age. We were very different people and lived different lives but that changed for which I am glad. Our bond grew stronger and I'm thankful for that as in my grief, I don't feel blame or guilt. I just feel sadness and acceptance, I can't quite accept that forever is the now.

The one thing I wish for more than anything is that I can make the pain disappear for my parents. This is the hardest part of this forever.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Obviously I'm new here, and really didn't mean to be insensitive when I asked why 2020 would be different for you. I'm so glad you renewed your bond with him. And I'm not trying to jump in on your post with my own story of woe.

From my side, I feel like I didn't just lose my mother in law that I'd had for 28 years (well over half my life), but I also felt the loss of her as a mum for my husband, and as the nanny for my two sons.

The grief still felt so fresh and Christmas just came upon us. Opening some of the presents on Christmas day brought on upset with thoughts of whether she'd bought some of the 'traditional presents' we have year on year, before she passed. Her death came just 4 days after her daughter, my sister in law, got married too. So it's been quite a roller-coaster of emotions these last few weeks.

Someone once said to me grief is like waves washing up on a beach. They don't get smaller (over time), they just wash up on the shore with the same intensity, only less often.

One day we will remember who we've lost and smile at what we had (with them, because of them...). And that feeling will be stronger than the one of being sad at what we once had and then lost x
 
flintstones said:
Although grief is different for everyone it's nice to not be alone in my feelings. I wish both our families strength and that we can remember our loved ones in happier times.

My brother passed away in November, he was my big brother 37 years of age. We were very different people and lived different lives but that changed for which I am glad. Our bond grew stronger and I'm thankful for that as in my grief, I don't feel blame or guilt. I just feel sadness and acceptance, I can't quite accept that forever is the now.

The one thing I wish for more than anything is that I can make the pain disappear for my parents. This is the hardest part of this forever.
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Can i just say, as a side note, feel free to message me if you ever need to. About anything x

Edit: not trying to sound freaky or weird saying that
 
Piggylove82 said:
I'm so sorry for your loss. Obviously I'm new here, and really didn't mean to be insensitive when I asked why 2020 would be different for you. I'm so glad you renewed your bond with him. And I'm not trying to jump in on your post with my own story of woe.

From my side, I feel like I didn't just lose my mother in law that I'd had for 28 years (well over half my life), but I also felt the loss of her as a mum for my husband, and as the nanny for my two sons.

The grief still felt so fresh and Christmas just came upon us. Opening some of the presents on Christmas day brought on upset with thoughts of whether she'd bought some of the 'traditional presents' we have year on year, before she passed. Her death came just 4 days after her daughter, my sister in law, got married too. So it's been quite a roller-coaster of emotions these last few weeks.

Someone once said to me grief is like waves washing up on a beach. They don't get smaller (over time), they just wash up on the shore with the same intensity, only less often.

One day we will remember who we've lost and smile at what we had (with them, because of them...). And that feeling will be stronger than the one of being sad at what we once had and then lost x
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I didn't think for a moment you where being insensitive, I imagine my feelings resonated with you as although it's not the same situation the yearning for what we have both lost is similar.

For me grief, I don't understand it. I have lost many animals but never a loved one so close. I knew him for 34 years, I can relate to the sadness after the wedding. For my brother will not be there when I marry on the 18th of April 2020 - this I struggle with, as I would of loved for him to be there.

I hope the grief gets easier in time, I have cried a river tonight. I take comfort in knowing this will be a different year for many, and I wish us all strength!
 
flintstones said:
I didn't think for a moment you where being insensitive, I imagine my feelings resonated with you as although it's not the same situation the yearning for what we have both lost is similar.

For me grief, I don't understand it. I have lost many animals but never a loved one so close. I knew him for 34 years, I can relate to the sadness after the wedding. For my brother will not be there when I marry on the 18th of April 2020 - this I struggle with, as I would of loved for him to be there.

I hope the grief gets easier in time, I have cried a river tonight. I take comfort in knowing this will be a different year for many, and I wish us all strength!
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I know what you mean. I have lost so many pets over the years and my heart well and truly breaks each time. But somehow you love again. No new pet will ever replace one that has passed. We all know that's not how it works. But we kind of love all over again, give our hearts to these little creatures.

But with family, when we lose that family member, they are gone. And it feels so final while also feeling unreal at the same time. How can that person be here one day, then just gone and we'll never see them again? It's a different 'end'. We think of what they won't be there for, like your wedding. But, deep down he will be there, with you. Maybe you could plan in something that acknowledged him. A colour he liked in your colour scheme, a song, or even name your table layout based on a theme of something he liked?
 
Piggylove82 said:
I know what you mean. I have lost so many pets over the years and my heart well and truly breaks each time. But somehow you love again. No new pet will ever replace one that has passed. We all know that's not how it works. But we kind of love all over again, give our hearts to these little creatures.

But with family, when we lose that family member, they are gone. And it feels so final while also feeling unreal at the same time. How can that person be here one day, then just gone and we'll never see them again? It's a different 'end'. We think of what they won't be there for, like your wedding. But, deep down he will be there, with you. Maybe you could plan in something that acknowledged him. A colour he liked in your colour scheme, a song, or even name your table layout based on a theme of something he liked?
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It definitely is different, he asked me if I would be there when my parents left of course I would and I told him this his anxiety was terrible- his questions where hard but I do feel he was preparing me all the time.

I dried some flowers from the funeral and put them in a shadow box and thought I could have him there. I don't think will be possib, as grief is overwhelming for my family. I definitely don't want to make it worse. A lot of people have said it was wrong for a parent to lose a child you've probably heard this, I don't agree it's different but sometimes it happens.

I have some small memories that I plan to incorporate into my day. It won't be the same however I don't ever want to forget him and this way he can have his imprint into my day.

I have dried sone flowers separately from the funeral to incorporate into my bouquet, little gesture honouring him.

The favours I have decided I won't do, I will donate instead to a charity close to my brothers illness.. little features throughout the day is my plan.
 
flintstones said:
It definitely is different, he asked me if I would be there when my parents left of course I would and I told him this his anxiety was terrible- his questions where hard but I do feel he was preparing me all the time.

I dried some flowers from the funeral and put them in a shadow box and thought I could have him there. I don't think will be possib, as grief is overwhelming for my family. I definitely don't want to make it worse. A lot of people have said it was wrong for a parent to lose a child you've probably heard this, I don't agree it's different but sometimes it happens.

I have some small memories that I plan to incorporate into my day. It won't be the same however I don't ever want to forget him and this way he can have his imprint into my day.

I have dried sone flowers separately from the funeral to incorporate into my bouquet, little gesture honouring him.

The favours I have decided I won't do, I will donate instead to a charity close to my brothers illness.. little features throughout the day is my plan.
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I don't know your name, sweetheart, but those ideas and gestures sound perfect. I understand the grief being overwhelming, of course I do, and weddings are emotional even at the best of times, but if in your own way you can let him have his imprint on your day (like you say), even if it's so subtle that others don't realise, that is a respectful and beautiful and a lovely thing to do. I wish you all the best on that day x
 
flintstones said:
It definitely is different, he asked me if I would be there when my parents left of course I would and I told him this his anxiety was terrible- his questions where hard but I do feel he was preparing me all the time.

I dried some flowers from the funeral and put them in a shadow box and thought I could have him there. I don't think will be possib, as grief is overwhelming for my family. I definitely don't want to make it worse. A lot of people have said it was wrong for a parent to lose a child you've probably heard this, I don't agree it's different but sometimes it happens.

I have some small memories that I plan to incorporate into my day. It won't be the same however I don't ever want to forget him and this way he can have his imprint into my day.

I have dried sone flowers separately from the funeral to incorporate into my bouquet, little gesture honouring him.

The favours I have decided I won't do, I will donate instead to a charity close to my brothers illness.. little features throughout the day is my plan.
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I really like the idea of making a donation to charity instead of wedding favours 👍🏻
 
@flintstones I'm sorry for your losses, I would say it gets easier but it doesn't, you just learn to live with it and manage it all better.

There are some really nice personal touches you can do at your wedding. I had a little bouquet charm with a photo of my dad in tied to my bouquet. I wanted him with me when I walked down the aisle but felt a lot of the "look who's no longer here" or "reserved seat" ideas were a bit too in your face for my liking. We also did a "where it all started" ladder as neither of us have grandparents still with us so we had photos of all the grandparents and then photos of the parents on their wedding days followed by a photo of us. It was a way of incorporating some of the important people who weren't there but without it being a list of people who have passed away. Let me grab the photos.

This is about the only one you can see the charm on
FB_IMG_1577869062876.webp

And this was our ladder
FB_IMG_1577869095238.webp
 
What a beautiful poem @flintstones .
I am so glad that you and your brother had developed a close relationship.
Grief takes time and every loss is different.
For you it is still raw and new.

I hope that you will always feel this is a safe place to talk about your grief.
You, @Piggylove82 and all whose grief is still raw are held in my heart
 
Merab's Slave said:
What a beautiful poem @flintstones .
I am so glad that you and your brother had developed a close relationship.
Grief takes time and every loss is different.
For you it is still raw and new.

I hope that you will always feel this is a safe place to talk about your grief.
You, @Piggylove82 and all whose grief is still raw are held in my heart
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Thank you x
 
Thank you everyone for the comments and ideas to it's appreciated.

I thought Christmas would be my most difficult day, I never expected the grief to strike on New Year's Eve and stay with me today. Grief at times is so unpredictable and can come with such anguish.

Some days are definitely much easier than others at times I think it helps that I am a logical thinker and can rationalise my emotions.

Although for now, I am so tired and the body will not allow for me to sleep. It's hard finding motivation for mundane tasks, I used to never want to sit still now I sometimes struggle to do things I loved. I know in time things will become less of a chore, I just have to ride the waves.
 
flintstones said:
Thank you everyone for the comments and ideas to it's appreciated.

I thought Christmas would be my most difficult day, I never expected the grief to strike on New Year's Eve and stay with me today. Grief at times is so unpredictable and can come with such anguish.

Some days are definitely much easier than others at times I think it helps that I am a logical thinker and can rationalise my emotions.

Although for now, I am so tired and the body will not allow for me to sleep. It's hard finding motivation for mundane tasks, I used to never want to sit still now I sometimes struggle to do things I loved. I know in time things will become less of a chore, I just have to ride the waves.
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Having lost my dad last January I can fully understand and recognise this. Waves of grief appear sometimes with little or no warning and you have to let it out and let it run its course. I know it’s not for everyone but I found reflexology was a great help to help me restore my sleep pattern after I lost mine last year. Lack of sleep is such a killer. Huge hugs to you xx
 
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