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I'm struggling

Ninarodders

Ninarodders

Junior Guinea Pig
Joined
Aug 8, 2021
Messages
159
Reaction score
148
Points
305
Location
Northamptonshire
My 3.5yr old boy was pts on Wednesday after a short bowel illness. I feel so alone in grief. My husband is honestly so , he knows pigs shouldn't suffer so should go vets etc but he doesn't understand why someone (me) would pay loads to make them better instead of just pts. It's honestly making me rethink our marriage. We have 2 kids and love him but he just isn't helping me and my grief. My mum surprisingly was very helpful and cancelled her plans to come and sit with me etc. My sister at first questioned why I'd spend money on them (my other pig has had surgeries) but quickly took it back when I said you'd do it for your dog. Now she is also supportive. Loads of people look at me funny when I explain I take them vets. So now I'm very cynical when it comes to believing peoples understanding.

I truly feel so alone. My kids are little 10 and 7 so I have to pretend all is OK when I'm really not.

I feel so stupid ffs.

Thank you to anyone who reads this. Getting it out helps.
 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved boy, Ninarodders. Well done for being brave and making the kind decision to help him over the bridge when it was needed. It's common that non-guinea-pig people don't understand, but pretty much everyone on this forum knows how bad it feels. Given time, it will ease. Do you have any other guinea pigs?

There is a grief guide here that might help a little bit
Wiebke

Thread 'Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children'

1 The grieving process
- Loss and the start of the grieving process
- Grieving with a terminally ill guinea pig
- Going through the grieving process
2 Ways of coping
- Expressing and processing your feelings
- Regaining your guinea pig
- Burial and marking the passing
- Dealing with special days
3 How do I tell my children?
- Finding local support lines and charities...
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Yes I have his friend, he is 5 ish and he has had 2 bladder stone surgeries. He is showing symptoms again so I know I won't have long with him. Also I think the stress of losing his friend maybe is making it worse. I always thought that he go first and had sort of mentally prepared for it you know. But it was such a sock to me that we couldn't fix Darwin and that now he's not here.
 
It's extra tough when they leave us unexpectedly. It sounds like you're still in shock and it must be difficult as well hiding your feelings around the children, I really feel for you. Take comfort in your remaining boy and be kind to yourself as you grieve.
 
I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Be gentle on yourself as you grieve for your boy.
 
Sorry for what you’re going through. Sudden or short illness and loss is heartbreaking and leaves a lot to process. It does get easier in time but I’m not surprised you’re feeling it right now, it sounds like you’ve been through such a lot.

The hierarchy of how many people view animals is unhelpful- as you said, people would take a dog to the vets, so why is a guinea pig considered any less worthy of care and attention? Sadly some people think that small animals are less important or more dispensible, but people on this forum completely understand where you are coming from and how hard it can be to lose them or see them suffer. You will always find support on here.

You sound like a really caring owner who gives your animals a good and happy life. They will hugely appreciate that… and as someone on here said, “if only love was enough to keep them alive, they’d all be here now.”

I’m glad your mum and sister have shown some empathy. Take care as you grieve and all the best for the piggy you have.
 
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