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Immensely Grateful, Heartbroken, Angry With Myself

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Please do not blame yourself.you have done your best for Casran.you are a very dedicated mum.all the best for Casran and hugs to you.xx
 
Agreed. We all feel angry that, on hind-sight, if we had gone to this vet first, or chosen this test instead of that first, or done this sooner, or we feel we did that too soon........ we don't know whether our choices will turn out helpful or not until we see the results of them. Who hasn't wasted money in the process?
It's good that you had a large sum saved for such an event, it shows how seriously you take your responsibilities, but none of us are made of money, and we all have our limits.
I recall spending £360 for an op on Shadow for her bladder. An op that her body couldn't cope with. I felt like I had just spent a huge sum of money to kill my own piggy when a better course of action COULD have been to try different meds. I say COULD. I'll never know, but I believe it to be so. The two vets she had been to had both prescribed baytril over and over and over. It's only since her death that I read that there are much better meds than these for bladder infections..... I went through anger, feeling I had let her down, feeling mistrust at the two vets, my heart was ripped out by the way she died two days after her op, and felt annoyed at the large cost, then felt annoyed at myself for thinking of money at a time like that (how selfish of me etc).

I think this is a scenario that many of us have been through, just with different details and circumstances.

The only thing we can ever do in life is what we believe is right at the time. Some decisions we make are hard, some feel obvious at the time, and we only know if we were right after everything has played out.

There is no way that you can be called a bad piggy-parent. No way.

Still very much keeping my fingers crossed for Casran. And please give yourself a break - be kind to yourself x
 
Critter said:
Agreed. We all feel angry that, on hind-sight, if we had gone to this vet first, or chosen this test instead of that first, or done this sooner, or we feel we did that too soon........ we don't know whether our choices will turn out helpful or not until we see the results of them. Who hasn't wasted money in the process?
It's good that you had a large sum saved for such an event, it shows how seriously you take your responsibilities, but none of us are made of money, and we all have our limits.
I recall spending £360 for an op on Shadow for her bladder. An op that her body couldn't cope with. I felt like I had just spent a huge sum of money to kill my own piggy when a better course of action COULD have been to try different meds. I say COULD. I'll never know, but I believe it to be so. The two vets she had been to had both prescribed baytril over and over and over. It's only since her death that I read that there are much better meds than these for bladder infections..... I went through anger, feeling I had let her down, feeling mistrust at the two vets, my heart was ripped out by the way she died two days after her op, and felt annoyed at the large cost, then felt annoyed at myself for thinking of money at a time like that (how selfish of me etc).

I think this is a scenario that many of us have been through, just with different details and circumstances.

The only thing we can ever do in life is what we believe is right at the time. Some decisions we make are hard, some feel obvious at the time, and we only know if we were right after everything has played out.

There is no way that you can be called a bad piggy-parent. No way.

Still very much keeping my fingers crossed for Casran. And please give yourself a break - be kind to yourself x
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I hear you @Critter ... all of this makes so much sense to me, and I imagine everyone here can relate to these feelings. Thanks for sharing x
 
Keeping my fingers crossed for Casran and for you! It is always very tough when you come to the limits of what you can afford financially, even when you have made provisions, while still waiting for a full diagnosis and not knowing how much further you can take any treatment in terms of the success rate/cost ratio. :(

I have been going through something similar with my husband since last summer and we are still not yet at the end of it all. We are still having to be braced for more emergency hospital admissions at any time like the two last month... it is extremely stressful and frustrating!
In hindsight, if his gp had picked up the first signs promptly as my hub reported them, no messed up and delayed referrals, weeks of waiting for special scan slots to get a full diagnosis and no major complications after the first procedure, and if he could be stabilised fully without any new emergency hospital admissions pushing him back even further, we could have long been through it all by now and he could have been spared weeks of pain and severe sickness and several months of recovery. And yet, you have to try and stay positive. :(

Whatever happens, Casran couldn't have a better and more caring mum. That is what counts! HUGS!
 
Wiebke said:
Keeping my fingers crossed for Casran and for you! It is always very tough when you come to the limits of what you can afford financially, even when you have made provisions, while still waiting for a full diagnosis and not knowing how much further you can take any treatment in terms of the success rate/cost ratio. :(

I have been going through something similar with my husband since last summer and we are still not yet at the end of it all. We are still having to be braced for more emergency hospital admissions at any time like the two last month... it is extremely stressful and frustrating!
In hindsight, if his gp had picked up the first signs promptly as my hub reported them, no messed up and delayed referrals, weeks of waiting for special scan slots to get a full diagnosis and no major complications after the first procedure, and if he could be stabilised fully without any new emergency hospital admissions pushing him back even further, we could have long been through it all by now and he could have been spared weeks of pain and severe sickness and several months of recovery. And yet, you have to try and stay positive. :(

Whatever happens, Casran couldn't have a better and more caring mum. That is what counts! HUGS!
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I'm sorry things are ongoing with your hubby's health. I shalln't ask about it, but I am really sorry to read that he's still going through his illness. I hope he comes through it soon. x :hug:
I really do feel for you both

Yes we can relate to doctor's missing things - they missed hubby's broken back - a vertebrate broke in two but didn't affect his nerves. Doctors sent him home. Meanwhile the bone slipped and set in the wrong position, causing permanent misalignment and damage to his disk.

It is so frustrating when they don't do the tests that they should, and things become harder to treat as a result x
 
TheAurora said:
Firstly, and publicly, I want to thank @Poppy'sMum from the bottom of my heart for her ongoing support.

Also, my boss for his outstanding help today.

Casran needs lots of tests ... the reality is I simply can't afford them all. I've chosen tests which I feel will be the best to start with (lots of x-ray).

He my not survive the GA but if he does Sarah at Animates is going to look at his teeth (x-ray wise and in his mouth), behind his eyes, his chest and his abdomen.

She gave me a cheaper option of just trying different meds, but I'd rather try and get some answers at least.

The test I couldn't afford was blood works.

I said goodbye and I love you this afternoon and left them both with Sarah. If I never see Casran again, I will have does literally everything within my means.

Sarah was amazing ... I felt one hundred per cent confident with her.

The wonderful @Poppy'sMum is picking them up tomorrow and giving them a home for a few days until I can get back.

Now for the angry bit...

The £100 I spent at my own vet last week was the biggest waste of money. If I hadn't spent that I could have got all the tests done on Casran.

I'm angry that I don't have more money to spend on him ... I shouldn't have pets if I can't afford to care for them.

I'm totally broken - heart and soul.

I pray I'm doing my best :-(

EDIT: I should probably add, the main reason I chose the x-rays is because Sarah, too, wasn't happy with the look of his eye and is wondering if something is going on behind it. My logic was x-rays first to have a good look.
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I don't really know much about little Casran but I wanted to say that I was thinking of you. But also that I know Sarah personally, and I would happily leave any of my piggies with her. She's lovely and seems to be a fabulous vet. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

x
 
I totally understand where you are coming from, I've just had/still have a very poorly guinea pig who has cost me much more than I ever imagined. I've used money I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't bring myself to stop treatment because of money. I'm in a bit of doo doo now because of it, but it's just too damn hard. He's my child and I want to do everything I can for him. I feel your pain x
 
Abi_nurse said:
I don't really know much about little Casran but I wanted to say that I was thinking of you. But also that I know Sarah personally, and I would happily leave any of my piggies with her. She's lovely and seems to be a fabulous vet. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

x
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Oh wow Abi nurse thank you for this lovely endorsement of my vet, she is lovely & has done everything she can to save mine in the past, I am so lucky to be able to get to her easily :) I am sure she has done everything possible for Casran & I am glad I managed to help TheAurora to get him to her x
 
Wiebke said:
I have been going through something similar with my husband since last summer and we are still not yet at the end of it all. We are still having to be braced for more emergency hospital admissions at any time like the two last month... it is extremely stressful and frustrating!
In hindsight, if his gp had picked up the first signs promptly as my hub reported them, no messed up and delayed referrals, weeks of waiting for special scan slots to get a full diagnosis and no major complications after the first procedure, and if he could be stabilised fully without any new emergency hospital admissions pushing him back even further, we could have long been through it all by now and he could have been spared weeks of pain and severe sickness and several months of recovery. And yet, you have to try and stay positive. :(
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Oh @Wiebke I'm sorry to read this. The last thing you need when you are dealing with serious illness is stress like this. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure what is wrong with him but I hope you can indeed "stay positive". Hugs x
 
TheAurora said:
Oh @Wiebke I'm sorry to read this. The last thing you need when you are dealing with serious illness is stress like this. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure what is wrong with him but I hope you can indeed "stay positive". Hugs x
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Gallstones on the march and a narrowed bile duct don't mix; we have made it through weeks of jaundice, severe dehydration, acute pancreatitis, a gut perforation, cancer worries about the narrowed bit (thankfully not substantiated), a hernia that is aggravated by the sudden massive weight loss and repeated sickness, infection and jaundice with an emergency admission to hospital to avoid dehydration again whenever a bigger stones passes, which is pushing the gallbladder removal back even further... We've had stents in and out and a (painful) attempt to stretch the bile duct; now we are back to a stent after hub ended up in hospital twice in week last month. :(

How is Casran today? I am thinking of you!
 
Gosh... I'm sorry you both have to go through all that Wiebke... Hope your hubby gets better :hug:

@TheAurora Sending kisses to Casran!
 
I'm sorry to hear that too Wiebke :( My hubby has been off work over a year & had 2 shoulder operations, we are praying the second one has worked (done on New Year's Eve!) else we don't know what the future holds :( x
 
Whoa @Wiebke that's a very rough deal indeed! That really is a huge load to be dealing with, for both of you. :hug:
 
@Poppy'sMum I hope all turns out well. My hubby too has a bad shoulder after being knocked from his bike a year and a half ago, and we don't know if he'll ever be able to do the things he used to. However, he is back at work. I hope this latest op really helps to put him (yours) back on track :hug:
 
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