I still feel very sorry for Myfina that I have found myself in this situation - again. But I don't feel guilty because I know from experience that I have done my best under the circumstances for her and that even seeing a piggy savvy vet straight away would have likely not saved her; just saved her the last hours of dying. Because of an other piggy with chronic issues I was lucky to have all the meds (painkiller and gut stimulants) at home that I would have got out of a general emergency vet.
As a long term owner I have long since done my battles with misplaced guilt. Stuff out of my control happens all the time. When I go back and decide that I would have made the same decisions again in that particular situation and under those particular circumstances and with the same knowledge I had then (which is not necessarily what I know now), then I do not feel guilty. It is so easy to pass a 'guilty' verdict from hindsight when you are in fact treading a maze with lots of dead ends and no map. The path is always only visible from looking back.
Our first family piggy came into my life nearly 50 years ago. In terms of care (including vet care), that is pretty much the stone ages. And yet, he lived until nearly 10 years, had a happy and much loved life as far as we knew how to give him and could express his joy of life. Today we would fly up in arms at the things that were perfectly normal and considered good care then.
I can't go back and undo all the mistakes I have made along the way. Many of my lessons have been learned the hard way. What most people overlook in this age of easily available online knowledge is that most of it has been found by trial and error and that a lot has come at the cost of lives.
I have also learned that beating myself up over a difficult decision against my gut instinct has sullied the otherwise wonderful memories I have of a special piggy of mine for several years. I should have seen a different more experienced vet despite the reassurances of my local decent general vet, but of course what I still don't know and will never be able to know is whether her heart would have made it through the operation with a more experienced vet or not - and knowing what I have learned in the intervening seven years, I am inclined to rather lean towards 'not'. She was an elderly piggy with an eye that needed removing because we'd medically done everything for an infection inside the eyeball itself (and couldn't do more on that score even today!).
Anyway, not being able to change the past, I am paying back into the future and I am using my hard and often heart-breakingly gained knowledge to benefit my current piggies and the piggies on this forum and some other piggy places. It is the best way I can honour those past and much loved piggies who have taught me along the way.
We can only do our best at each time - and as our knowledge (including medical knowledge) changes and evolves all the time, I rejoice in how much more we understand and can do now. But I try not to beat myself up over what I didn't know and what I couldn't influence or over mistakes I have made due to not knowing all relevant facts.
Because of my long journey, I am perhaps much more tolerant about the limits of medical knowledge and the more and more difficult problems that the constant pushing the horizons out in veterinary care brings with it. Medicine has made huge strides since the 1970ies but it is not fail-safe or all knowing, especially when it comes to massively under-researched and overlooked small pets. Vets can also only do their best at the time. Guinea pigs and other small rodents don't feature much in a general vet's curriculum although it is slowly getting better, as is online access to an exotics vet for chain clinic general vets for instance. It takes experience with these extreme situations, awareness of their limits and the potential pit falls, respect and tact to get the optimum out of any vet you see in an emergency, but that is usually not something that you are aware of the first time you find yourself in that situation.
Pet keeping, like having children and life in general is a life long learning curve. We are not expected to be perfect from the word go. Far too many people sadly do this and set themselves up for a fail, inevitable anxiety attacks and feelings of inadequacy and guilt. What we are expected to is to be willing to learn, take any lessons to heart and not make the same mistake twice.
What never changes, though, however long and how many pets you have in your life, is the pain of losing them. Most deaths don't happen nicely and with piggies being such small creatures, emergencies and quick deteriorations are the rule rather than the exception.
We can never choose when and what our piggies (or our human beloved ones at that) die from, but we can give them as happy a life as possible while we have them - if you have looked after your boy well during his time with you and have given him a happy piggy life, then you have not failed him in any way that counts for him! It is worth keeping in mind that guinea pigs don't have a concept of longevity; but they have a concept of happiness and being pain-free. Making their todays happy and the end as pain-free as you can in whatever circumstances and vet access you find yourself at the time is what you should concentrate on; the rest is not in your control.
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