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Lost one of my pigs, difficult time coping with loss

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bo0kw0rm

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Hey all, I've read forums like this a lot as a lurker, but finally have reason to make a post. A month or two ago, right before Christmas I lost my darling angel Katya. Her cagemate was always a bit of a grumpy loner, and her behavior hasn't really changed notably. She still popcorns a lot when its feeding time, and seems to like cuddles plenty still. I'm having a bit of a harder time myself though. Half of me thinks it'd be good for her to get a new cagemate, but the other half of me, maybe more than half, is terrified of dealing with more loss.

As it is, I think about too often how much I'm dreading the day I find Trixie not well, I really don't know how I'll cope when they're both gone. I'm just in an anxious and panicky state about it all still.

What do you guys do when the loss of a piggy is still at the forefront of your mind for a good period after it happens? Do you have any advice on not worrying or dreading as much the loss of my remaining pig?

Thanks for your time all.
 
Welcome t the Forum although sorry it is under such sad circumstances.
Please be kind to yourself.
Loss is hard and we all do it differently.

Maybe some of the information in this guide will be helpful
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

And sometimes it just helps to talk to other people who 'get it'.
If you felt ready you could post a tribute to your Katya in the Rainbow Bridge section of the Forum.
Maybe sharing some photos and a little anecdote would help you start to focus more on the positive aspects of having her in your life?
Above all we are here to listen and offer you support.
 
So sad to hear how upset you are. Loss of animals hits people so hard, I don’t think you ever get used to it but you learn over time, to deal with it. Like you, I dread the day which is inevitable, that my pigs will pass on. I have one at the moment I am particularly bonded with and when she goes I will be devastated. But my life would be missing something if I had not had her or my others over the years. The sadness is tough but the pleasure they bring makes it worth the pain.

I also think that your Katya has left a legacy of love, and wouldn’t it be good to keep her memories alive by getting another piggy for your Trixie?

You have to do what’s right for you and it’s only natural to grieve...everyone on here knows what that’s like so please feel that it’s a safe place to share your sadness, it will help you tremendously as it has me over the years.

x
 
Sorry for your loss... it is very very difficult when you loose a pet.. After we lost Pippin on Xmas day - I was dead set against getting any more guinea pigs - we still had Winny who we rescued last May after loosing our Gladys... for 2 days I was adamant that Winny was going back to the rescue - then she wheeked at me for her dinner and i just couldn't do it..

The loss is hard but the love you get from having them around is what its all about. Winny came home with 2 new friends so now I have 3...

Everyone is different thought but I think everyone on here gets it - the pain and the sadness.. xx
 
I agree with everything thats been said above. Sometimes the loss of a dear pet can be felt very deeply and even more so for those we have a huge connection with.

I swore I wouldn't get any more piggies after nursing my poorly piggie until his passing. He's been with me since a few weeks after birth when he and his brother were born to my sisters sow & she couldnt keep the boys. They were very special but it was hard work & expensive especially as I had little human babies on my hands too. My son still talks about this piggie and only last week (over a year since his passing) told me he still misses him. The thing is, when left with a solitary piggie, it's important to understand that they too have lost their companion. I saw this clearly in my remaining pig. It was very sad watching him eat and sleep on his own with nobody to snatch away a carrot or wrestle for the best bed at night or just wheek to in their own language. So I got him a friend. For us and for my piggie it was the best outcome because it focussed the mind, it gave my piggie a new lease of life and the baby pig was utterly adorable.

As it turns out we now have 6 piggies so instead of giving up on pigs altogether, we have expanded, opened our hearts & home to rescue piggies & honestly, it is incredibly fulfilling. This all came from 1 poorly piggie who set this all in motion and he is still discussed, drawn in pictures by the children and remembered fondly - always will be.

Being a piggie owner is such a pleasure and as painful as loss is, we have to accept it as part of the process whilst not letting it overshadow the joys we can experience today (easier said than done sometimes).

I hope your grief gets a little easier over the coming weeks. Just take your time and please do read the links to find ways of coping if you are struggling.

Big hugs x
 
Sorry for your loss. I lost a piggy just before Christmas too and I was a bit tearful thinking about him after a vet visit yesterday. Things remind us. I think it helps to put a photo up, talk to your piggy about the piggy you lost, try to forgive yourself if you feel guilty. I think it just takes time and there's always the pet bereavement helpline.
 
As regards struggling to open your heart to a new piggy, it's ok to fake it until the true love can flow again.
 
So sorry for your loss.
The human heart has an amazing capacity for love and Katy’s was clearly a very special piggy.
It is because you loved her so much that you do have love to give to another piggy. They will be very lucky to follow in Katya’s paw steps and you will find that any new piggy will quickly make their own place in your heart.
Grief is painful and we are here to support you
 
I totally feel for you. Right now one of our hamsters is in the process of dying of old age and it's terrible. I am sad, anxious, a whole gamut of emotions, and every single time I wonder why I take on small pets, knowing what the lifespan will be and that I will be going through this same pain in another couple years, or five to seven for the guinea pigs. Yes, it hurts, and there are times when I don't know if I can keep on doing this time after time. But I keep on reminding myself that the only way to avoid grief is to avoid love, and the truth is that, despite the pain of loss, not having pets at all would be a bigger loss because I have always loved animals, rodents particularly, and I want to have them in my life even if I know inevitably I will have to lose them one day. But this week has been really rough for me too and I completely empathize with what you're saying, both the grief of losing and the fear of losing other, future pets.

I think first, acknowledge that this is a loss and it's okay to feel sad. So many people seem to minimize the loss of a small animal, but they are no less a family member than a dog or cat. You loved her, and it hurts when someone we love dies, whether they are a person or an animal. It's okay to feel that way. She will never be replaced and you will always remember her. I usually try to do something to commemorate the animal that has been lost... I have a photo shelf with pictures of pets that have passed on, to remember them. And although I never forget them, I do think it helps to bring a new animal into the fold. It helps to make some sense of the loss to me... I am sad to say goodbye, but my pet, with their passing, has made a space in our home for another animal who needs the love we have to give. What better tribute is their to their life than that? And the truth is that your remaining piggy has also lost a companion and will welcome a new friend to share their lives with, when you're ready.

One quote I like is "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." I am so sad at the loss of past pets... I am so sad that I am going to be saying goodbye to another pet, likely before the weekend is over. But how fortunate I am to have had the time I had with them. If I never had them, I wouldn't be feeling this pain... but my life would have been a little less rich for not having them there, and that's what I try to remember.
 
So sorry you have lost Katya x It’s a very sad time, be kind to yourself x
Sleep tight little lady x
 
bo0kw0rm said:
Hey all, I've read forums like this a lot as a lurker, but finally have reason to make a post. A month or two ago, right before Christmas I lost my darling angel Katya. Her cagemate was always a bit of a grumpy loner, and her behavior hasn't really changed notably. She still popcorns a lot when its feeding time, and seems to like cuddles plenty still. I'm having a bit of a harder time myself though. Half of me thinks it'd be good for her to get a new cagemate, but the other half of me, maybe more than half, is terrified of dealing with more loss.

As it is, I think about too often how much I'm dreading the day I find Trixie not well, I really don't know how I'll cope when they're both gone. I'm just in an anxious and panicky state about it all still.

What do you guys do when the loss of a piggy is still at the forefront of your mind for a good period after it happens? Do you have any advice on not worrying or dreading as much the loss of my remaining pig?

Thanks for your time all.
Click to expand...

Hi and welcome

I am very sorry for your loss!

Talking is the best healer to help you process your grief and your loss. You have to grieve as much as you have loved; they are the two sides of the same coin; irrespective of the species. But without the love of our pets and human family and friends, our lives would be very sad and empty indeed!

You will never stop missing a pet you have had a special bond with but there are ways to regain in due time some of what you have lost and to find a constructive balance between what you no longer have and the precious treasure store of memories that you have shared and that you will always carry with you.

Our grieving guide link may help you understand your feelings better; it also contains tips on what you can do yourself to process your strong emotions, resources and information where you can access specialist pet bereavement support: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

There are pet bereavement lines or email services, online forums or even groups in many countries to help you or each other with their own grieving process. Any forum member that has so far turned to one of these for support has reported back with a positive experience and has been left feeling better in themselves, even though it has often taken quite a lot of encouragement for them to make use of these services - but it is really worth looking for specially trained support that can listen and reflect back to in an understanding, insightful and constructive way!
The guides contain a list of contacts although it is by no means complete.

Please consider finding your companion a new friend. Even if she is seemingly getting on well, she still needs that vital stimulation and interaction that is at the core of group life and that guinea pigs are wired for.
The guides below will hopefully help you; they also address your ambivalent feelings on this subject as guinea pig and human needs never clash as badly as after a loss.
Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig
Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities (includes bereaved single piggies and how to best to go about finding a companion of their own choice)

You may also find this thread here helpful. It has been written by a forum member with pet bereavement issues and their personal experience: On grief, and hope
 
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