Hello everyone. I'm looking for advice, tips, or just an open ear to listen in. I'm sorry if this isn't the right place, or the right thread or whatever.. I've never used a forum before so it's all new to me.
Last year (2019) I lost my heart pig to bladder issues that just weren't going away. We ended up having her euthanized as she was suffering, and was a very pain sensitive pig and both the vets, and my partner and I thought she would not have coped well with surgery. She wasn't even 3 yet.
I grieved (and still am grieving) for months. My partner took up the slack of taking care of the pigs for me while I couldn't cope. At the beginning of this month I started caring for them full time again. It still hurt but I felt it had become manageable.
Now, one of my other pigs has been diagnosed with an aggressive tumour attached to his intestines. The vet has said it's inoperable. He's been given a death sentence. He's home with us and on anti inflammatories, but the vet said he's probably got three months max left. He's not even 2 and a half. My heart is rebreaking before it had even had time to heal
I.. I think I want to give up on Guinea Pigs. I don't know how to cope with this. Has anyone else wanted to rehome their pigs after stuff like this? Did you? Did you regret it?
We have four others. Two boars we rescued from a friend of a friend who was neglecting them. (They were terrified of humans & skin and bone when we got them. We got told they were 18 months old but vets suspected they were probably closer to 3-4 years, tho it was hard to tell as they were in such poor shape.) We also have two sows, who live with the terminally ill boar (he is neutered) and the sow that passed last year was part of their heard too.
And I do love them all, I really do. But this loss is taking a huge hit on my mental health and I don't know how much more I can take, yknow?
Even though there's nothing more I could/ can do for either of them, I am still blaming myself.
I know I'll miss the pigs if I do decide to rehome them but I really do not think I can deal with any more heart break from them. They are technically my pets, so my partner said he will support whatever decision I make.
BIG HUGS
I am very sorry that you are having such a bad run. Unfortunately these things happen, but they are - most importantly - NOT your fault; just cosmic bad luck. Loss is hard to cope with but it is the other side of the same coin that is called love. If we never gave our heart, our lives would be so poor and sterile. The more you love, the more you have to grieve.
But the more you can learn to live with this pain and to see not just the dark side but the precious memories that lie beyond and that enrich your own life and make it worthwhile, the stronger in your heart you become and the more you learn to cope with what life throws at you. Grieving makes you ultimately more emotionally more mature and understanding.
Try not to see your pets as a companion that has to live for an average life span but as a gift from Heaven on a loan that can be cancelled at any time without notice. You can never choose when and what from your beloved ones die; but what you can do is giving them as many happy days as you are given.
Keep in mind that guinea pigs don't have a concept for life expectancy; but they know when they are having a good time! It is never the quantity but the quality that counts. You can stick a lifetime's worth of love into just a few moments (I know this from when I had to take leave from my dying dad), but you can let years pass unnoticed because you think that there will always be time - until it has suddenly run out.
When you have pets (and family and friends), live like every day is totally new and special; every day you can make another being's life special is indeed a precious gift and day worth living! And not just for that being or the person you make that gift, but for you as the giver of love and receiver of joy.
When you do that you will still suffer from the pain of the loss (that part is never getting any easier), but you will always know in your heart of hearts that you have NOT failed any pet of yours because for them you have made all the difference, exactly where it counts. Not in a long life, which is out of your control, but in the happiness of their life while they were with you.
Please be aware that your grieving process starts the moment you get the bad news and realise that your time is limited. Apart from the moment of death, this is the second worst time in the whole grieving process. That is why you feel so particularly low and desperate right now. You have just experienced death and a certain and inevitable loss.
However, unlike with an unexpected death you still have this truly precious gift to make every remaining day special and happy. Don't count the days but make them count! Concentrate not on staring at the end but on enriching your boy's life in so many ways and by seeing his joy and fun as his gift for you; like jewels you can fill your heart with - treasures that you never lose and can come back to let the sparkle from those precious memories light your heart in years to come and in times you feel down. Because you have done right and have given your boy the best gift ever!
Take the time to read our guide links below. You will find them hopefully very helpful; and something you can come back to.
They also contain resources, including contact for pet bereavement - and that includes looking after a terminally ill pet. Being able to talk about your feelings to somebody who understands and who can give them a contructive direction rather than a self-destructive one is the best you can do for yourself. You do not have to fight this fight and face this loss all alone. All our forum members who have made use of these services in their own unconsolable grief or desperation have come back with a positive feedback that they were feeling better in themselves. Not right, but definitely better.
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs
If is any consolation to you, I have just lost two not very old piggies just over two weeks apart very unexpectedly this year. Neither death was preventable; they happened out of the blue. I have to keep telling myself that.
PS: I lost my Llewelyn, my Tribe founding patriarch, to a deep-seated abdominal tumour that had already spread into the gut by the time it was diagnosed. It wasn't easy for me at all because it brought back many memories of my dad's battle with cancer, especially in the later stages. But I also found that it had helped me in some way to come to terms more with my dad's cancer afterwards. Llewelyn lived out his life with his then ten wives who were looking out for him until his time had come; so I think I have done right by him and have given him the happiest of boar lives!
Here is a picture of him having his support feed in the last weeks. And yes, even 9 years after his passing, I still miss him but I can now also cherish the fact that he has been in my life and has made it, and me, so much richer - because I still have precious memories that make me smile and feel fuzzy and warm when I look back at them despite the underlying sadness.
Please don't give up on your pets because it will always leave you with a bitter taste and make you feel like a betrayer. It is something even harder to get away from, believe me!
From having had to give up some of my piggies due to circumstances beyond my control, I also know that even when they go to live with a friend's piggies and you can still visit them and speak to them on the phone (and they will always continue to recognise you and your voice), you still have to go through the whole grieving process the moment they leave you, just the same as they had died then. Because they have been part of your life and will always be your beloved babies!
Please don't burden yourself with even more pain at this time, as dark as it may look to you right now. Go and look for all the little loves and pleasures that you can give and receive; that can lighten your life and brighten your mood - and make your pet ownership worth it. Because when you know that you have given all the love you could, then you also know that your grief is only the expression of the love you can no longer give to that special being - but your well of love is still flowing and making a difference to other lives.
I hope that this helps you? We are here to help you along the if you wish to. Just stick with this thread and let your gem of a husband take over whenever you feel overwhelmed - with the promise from you that you speak to somebody in the time he is doing the work.
