Miss Bramble, Shop Steward, has something to say

Betsy

Betsy

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Hello fellow piggies in Forum Land

I may have passed my End of Intensive Training Programme Exams with flying colours at the GPU Academy but you never stop learning. I've had guidance these last few weeks from my Mentor The One and Only Thea (Shop Steward, Retired), and her help had been invaluable and made sense of a lot of things I learnt during my training course. She has lots of books, pamphlets and booklets at her disposal which she has gone through with me and they are going to assist me with when your Slaves don't treat you the way you should be treated.

I now feel much more confident to help you.

Yours hoping I get my first complaint very soon (I am eager to use my new found knowledge)

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble

Congratulations on passing your training period!

We will certainly be coming to you if we have any complaints… pig dad is away at the moment at we have Mummy wrapped around our paws feeding us Strawberries and cucumber 🤣

Pepper & Pringle
 
Dear Miss Bramble,

Well done for passing all of your training. We feel safe in the knowledge that you are poised and ready to help us all. Thankfully our slave is behaving herself for now. But we are watching her closely.

Pepper and Pebble
 
Little Mr Dantyboo has a complaint for Miss Bramble!

Hello Miss Bramble you sound like a bootiful lady rumble rumble popcorn bum wiggle! My complaint is that I want to meet ladies and I'm not allowed yet.
I just love ladies, I live across the room from my mummy and sister, and sexy Auntie Gladys who is well up for it, and Auntie Lavender who has such a big lady bottom I have a whole set of surprised noises just for her when she turns round, and Granny Blod who is not sexy but I rumble at her anyway to be polite.
The hoomans say I have to Wait til I have a Special Operation to get rid of my Ginger Nuts then 6 More Wheeks. That is a lot of waiting and I am not sure about the Special Operation.
Could you come round and keep me company while I wait?
Love from Mr Dantyboo the Magnificent x
 
Dear Mr Dantyboo the Magnificent

I have had to ask my Mum Misty for help about your complaint. She says that your special operation and 6 week wait is essential as a boar with his Ginger Nuts still intact got her into trouble. It may be fun for you, but for a lady piggy, it means a ten weeks of feeling miserable, at the end of the ten weeks it's very painful and then she has pups. You will just have to woo your ladies from afar until you have visited the Plum Fairy. You wouldn't want your Mummy, sister, sexy Auntie Gladys, Auntie Lavender and Granny Blod to be miserable would you? I'm sure you'll be alright with Uncle Theo while you wait.

Thank you for the offer of me keeping you company but my Mum Misty said I have to stay well away from you and your Ginger Nuts.

I know that this is not the news you wanted but you just have to be patient and keep up those bum wiggles and rumbles to keep your ladies interested.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,

Thank you for your very sensible advice to Dantyboo. We are very glad that your mum Misty understands the perils of Ginger Nuts and has explained this to you!
Dantyboo's father caused no end of trouble and ginger piglets by fraternising freely with ladies until Auntie VickiA caught him and got the vet to chop off his ginger nuts.
Although we love Dantyboo very much, it is only from afar on weekdays and through very sturdy narrow cage bars on Saturdays and Special Occasions until after his special operation.
We do wish Auntie Gladys would stop encouraging him, she has a very short memory and highly questionable morals!

Love from Hilda, Dantyboo's Mum, who loves him dearly but doesn't trust his ginger bits and wishes he'd put his willy away sometimes x
 
Dear Miss Bramble,

I would like to start by congratulating you on your new position as shop steward, having leant from Thea we know you're trained to the highest standard.

We have a complaint this morning. Our poop picker/feeder/paparazzi lady aka slave didn't give us any coriander! Which is our favourite and the 1st to go at morning veg time. We heard her mumble something like "don't worry girls I'll pick some up on the way home from work". Can you believe she let us run out?! She's in her final warning.

Love from Willow and Blossom. 🌸
 
Dear Willow and Blossom

Dear dear me what is the world coming to when you don't get coriander for breakfast?!? I certainly wouldn't stand for that! I get pellets and grass for breakfast (although the grass is sometimes more like elevenses than breakfast but at least I get some).

For your Slave to knowingly run out of Coriander when she knows you need it for breakfast is a total outrage! Why didn't she pick some up on the way home from work yesterday? She could have done that easily if she is going to do that tonight.

To make her realise that you are very unhappy with this drop in standards, wheek really loudly at her in complaint of your substandard breakfast. The big question is, of course, will you get coriander for supper tonight? You need to let your Slave realise that coriander is absolutely essential to life itself. When she comes in to see you tonight, start begging at the bars and look your cutest. If she doesn't take the hint then, you must start biting on the bars (though not so hard you break your teeth) and wheek gently so she thinks that you are really lovely. Hopefully, something will switch on in that stupid brain of hers and she will give you some of your life essential coriander.

Yours hoping that your Slave gets more organised in future

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
Well done on passing all your exams.
I have some serious slave trouble. Every pellet time, or veggie time our slave goes to give us our food, they then stop before we get it.
Hamish chews the bars as soon as he hears food coming. The bringer of food then walks away, this is repeated again and again, until Hamish stops chewing the bars. This is so unfair. I have to wait for my food every time, and I am not the one chewing the bars. its so frustrating.
I just want my food, when its food time, not have to wait for my neighbour to stop chewing the bars.
Any helpful ideas?
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Wheeks Billy.


(Note from Billy’s slave…… Billy re-taught Hamish to chew the bars, then promptly stopped doing it!)
 
Betsy said:
Dear Willow and Blossom

Dear dear me what is the world coming to when you don't get coriander for breakfast?!? I certainly wouldn't stand for that! I get pellets and grass for breakfast (although the grass is sometimes more like elevenses than breakfast but at least I get some).

For your Slave to knowingly run out of Coriander when she knows you need it for breakfast is a total outrage! Why didn't she pick some up on the way home from work yesterday? She could have done that easily if she is going to do that tonight.

To make her realise that you are very unhappy with this drop in standards, wheek really loudly at her in complaint of your substandard breakfast. The big question is, of course, will you get coriander for supper tonight? You need to let your Slave realise that coriander is absolutely essential to life itself. When she comes in to see you tonight, start begging at the bars and look your cutest. If she doesn't take the hint then, you must start biting on the bars (though not so hard you break your teeth) and wheek gently so she thinks that you are really lovely. Hopefully, something will switch on in that stupid brain of hers and she will give you some of your life essential coriander.

Yours hoping that your Slave gets more organised in future

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
Click to expand...
Dear Bramble,

Slave brought home the goods and we had it for tea along with our red pepper.

All is forgiven but it better not happen again.

Love Willow and Blossom 🌸
 
Dear Billy

To have to wait for your food just because your neighbour Hamish is bar chewing is scandalous! You need to make sure that you get the food as you aren't bar chewing and Hamish doesn't as he is doing the bar chewing.

You need to put your front legs on your bars by standing on your hind legs and showing off your lovely fluffy tum when your Bringer of Food arrives and give her your best "I'm hungry" look while looking super cute. If she walks away without feeding you, wheek loudly at her to let her know you need to be fed. The fact that Hamish is chewing on the bars has nothing to do with the fact that she shouldn't feed you. If Hamish is chewing the bars and your Bringer of Food doesn't like it then she shouldn't feed him until he stops and just feed you instead.

Yours hoping this makes your Slave see sense.

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
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