Moses and Miriam

Merab said:
Look - we made a hay arch today. Slave told us we are very clever. We know that

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You are indeed, Moses and Miriam. Your slave is just a bit slow on the uptake, it probably comes with the territory of what hoomans call "being re-tyred" , whatever that means.
 
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I love my coriander. Moses was asleep under the hay so I tried to eat his too, but he woke up before I finished it.
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Our slave went to the farm shop today and the nice people there gave her a carrot for us 😋😋😋😋😋😋
Slave says it’s too big for us to eat it all. We don’t mind trying but she’s muttering about carrot soup.
We think that Miss Bramble should point out that we don’t eat soup - just raw carrots
 
Dear Moses and Miriam

I have learnt that your Slave was given a carrot especially for you both today by the very nice people at the Farm Shop. The carrot looks lovely and tasty to me. I have heard that your Slave thinks it too big and thinks that sharing it with you would be a good idea and that carrot soup is on the menu for her and Daddy Slave. This is not on! The carrot was given to you both and not her and Daddy Slave. That is Sacrilege! If your Slave thinks it's too big (it really isn't) why doesn't she put it in a bag to keep it fresh and portion it out over veggie dindins time in the coming days? That would be the sensible thing to do. But no your Slave only thinks of herself and Daddy Slave! If the very lovely people at the Farm Shop only knew ....

I would put these suggestions into practice immediately so your Slave knows you're not happy. After all you can't eat soup can you?
  • Overnight, drink so loudly from your water bottle that your Slave can hear it in her bedroom downstairs from you
  • Pull the spout out of your water bottle so the fleece in your cage gets wet and your Slave has to clean it out on a non cage clean day
  • When she is working in your room (she stupidly thinks that your cage is in her office when we all know that you allow her desk in your room) do lots of stinky poops and Moses get your boarly aroma going.
  • When Slave has you out for a cuddle, deposit a load of poops down her bra and if it's Daddy Slave pop a load of poops in his Y Fronts.
Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
Thank you very much for much for your supportive and helpful reply.
We will have a discussion tonight as to how we can best put your ideas into practice.
To add insult to injury we did get some of the carrot today - a measly half slice between us.
We are clearly being starved.
Love from Miriam and Moses
 
Dear Miriam and Moses

Half a slice of carrot between the two of you?!?!?!?! That is outrageous! You were given a lovely large juicy carrot for both of you! I wouldn't stand for that! Your Slave is very mean. Couldn't you have chosen a better one? Clearly more drastic action is required.

I have looked in leaflet "How to get what you want when your Slave doesn't think you should have it" and Page 3, paragraph 2 states that "Should your Slave not give you something that you want then you should....
  • Wheek loudly all night so that it keeps your Slave awake
  • Perfect the death nap so that your Slave goes into panic mode
  • When you are put somewhere safe while Slave is cleaning you out escape and refuse to be put back (but don't run anywhere dangerous)
  • Play the fun game that is catch me if you can
  • Do a huge wee in your Slave's lap at cuddle time. If he/she has a pee pad or anything else to protect their legs, move your bum off it and wee down your Slaves legs or leave your Slave with a massive damp patch on trousers/skirt"
Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Cage cleaning and health checks today.
Moses and Miriam took Miss Bramble’s advice and although escape from their basket wasn’t possible they did fill it with a vast amount of poops !

IMG_3160.webp Miriam is very good at being weighed

IMG_3161.webp Moses is less cooperative!

They were very happy to go back into their nice clean cage, lots of running around in and out of tunnels and hideys, lots of hay and forage munching, constant chatter and happy purring

IMG_3164.webp I’m the most beautiful piggy in the world 😁

IMG_3163.webp Can you see my little white footsie ?
 
Ah thank you Moses and Miriam , it’s very kind of you …I love carrot and I know you both really love carrot …thank you for sparing a bit for me 🥰
 
We were very good today for the nice vet nurse who trimmed our nails.
She thought we were beautiful piggies which we know is true.
We had to wait to go back in our cage to come home because Slave cleaned it.
She wants to know how we manage to produce so many poops !
Now we have to rearrange the furniture as it’s in the wrong place.

The only problem we had was our Slave singing in the car !
 
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