My boy died and I didn't see him in the night

T

ThePiggyPalace

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Hi, my boy aged five passed away on Friday. He'd had issues with bloat and his belly was rumbling on Thursday night. He very happily had medicine and gripe water that evening when I heard it rumbling. I was surprised at how desperate he was for the medicine and gripe water syringe. He almost grabbed it out of my hand! He'd been having issues on and off with bloat for about two months.

I gave him a massage and snuggle as usual. He had a walk around in the living room as part of our usual routine and seemed OK apart from the rumbling tummy.

I put him to bed on the Thursday night. His appetite was fine. He'd been eating hay and a tiny few nuggets as I'd all but eliminated them from his diet as I wondered if grain might be triggering his bloat.

I ended up falling asleep on the sofa. If I go up to bed, they wake me during the night as they wheek and drink from water bottles and sometimes very occasionally bite on the bars. They're very vocal and stamp about during the night and their room is beside mine. Having fallen asleep downstairs, I woke briefly and heard some noise from them upstairs, including maybe biting on bars, but thought it was their typical boar behaviour and went back to sleep.

I woke very early, showered and went to sort the boys to find my eldest dying, he couldn't lift his head and he had a bit of blood coming from his mouth. I wondered if it was him biting the bars in the night to get my attention.

I took him downstairs, knowing the end wasn't far away and held him with my dressing gown over him until he went to the rainbow bridge.

I can't get over his death. Him dying so suddenly and most of all me not seeing him in the night, otherwise I could've seen he was dying and held him through it. I don't think I'll ever get over it. I have depression and he was the only thing that kept me going. I've been thinking about life without him, but can't see a future. The guilt is eating me up. I can't see a way out of this.
 
Don't blame yourself. Feeling intense guilt after losing a pet is a very common, pretty universal response. It did happen very suddenly sadly and the hardest losses can be the ones we don't get a chance to brace for. Guinea pigs, with their fast rodent metabolism, can deteriorate very quickly and owners quite often find their pet has passed in the night, possibly after what seemed like an illness that was under control. Poor boy and poor you, to have lost your friend. The night sounds seem like what they would usually do and you wouldn't really know anything unusual was happening. Getting a good night's sleep is important. It is human nature to feel responsible in the face of loss and the loss of someone we care so much about. I hope you feel better about this soon. Rest easy over the bridge little piggy 🌈
 
I'm so sorry you lost your boy under these circumstances, I mean finding him like that. How awful and frightening for you!

Guineas hide their illnesses and or the gravity thereof very well. And they can go beyond the point of rescue very quickly.

I've never heard of a guinea bleeding at the mouth from biting bars. I had a number of bar-biters in my time. It's more likely to have been due to internal bleeding.

You held him at the end and before that he probably felt the presence of his piggy mate, so he would feel all your love and care as he made his way to 🌈

There are some threads on here about piggies passing and the grief process which I’ll link for you in a separate post. I learnt from them that feeling guilty is part of the grief process and is an expression of the love we had or still have for that piggy.

Please know also that I have severe depression and having and caring for my guineas kept me going for years. You are not alone there.
In the UK you can contact the Blue Cross over grief from a pet's death.
:hug:
 
I’m so sorry your boy has left for the rainbow bridge. I think you have done everything right. Like you said everything seemed ok on Thursday night. They hide their illnesses so well. Your piggy would not be showing signs the end might be near. You’ve done a wonderful job of holding him quietly until he crossed the bridge. He passed surrounded by your love and your love for him shines through.

There should be no guilt. Sadness yes, but no guilt. Of course you have a future. You will remember the good times you had with him. What was his name? Did he have a friend?

Maybe your future holds more piggies to give an amazing life to?

I’ve lost quite a few piggies over the years. If I gave up after the first passing think of all of the other piggies who would not have had amazing lives with me.

Is there anyone you can talk to about your feelings at this time? Sending you hugs. Take care. ❤️
 
So sorry for your loss. As others have said, you did nothing wrong and it is clear you are a very caring owner indeed.

Here is one of the links about managing bereavement. Do take care of yourself and keep in mind that the most difficult intense feelings of grief (which are very natural) should ease off as time passes. You are in the eye of the grief storm right now, but it won’t always feel this awful.

Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

So sorry again for your loss.
 
Hi, thanks for your kind words. Henwas my best friend in a world where humans let me down. He never did. His love shone through and he used to go wild for me when I got home from work. I might have had the worst day, but I'd just need to run up those stairs and see him and everything was OK again. I loved him so much. Much more than any humans I've known. We moved house in August and I used to bring him downstairs and we'd sit together at night. The last few months he'd stand on his hind legs to get my attention to pick him up when he was done playing and wanted cuddles. He also used to follow me everywhere. When he was done playing downstairs, he'd wait at the door to the bottom of the stairs and when I opened it, he'd climb the stairs himself. Any help from me to carry him upstairs and he'd be so mad. He wanted to climb those stairs himself. I always had a hand behind him incase he fell. He never did.

His name was Ezra and he turned five in August.

The photograph is Ezra popcorning with his brother, Bill, who left for the rainbow bridge too in the background.

Ezra lived with another piggy who I've been having lots of cuddles with and he's been sleeping in my bed (I've been awake). I have another two piggies too and the herd are bereft. They're all very quiet.
 

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So sorry that you have lost Ezra.
It’s never easy to find a beloved pet has passed away and Ezra was clearly very much loved.
I echo what the others have said and hold on to the good memories.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve
 
That sounds like such a social bond and a very clever and interactive piggy, what a sweetheart Ezra was. And the popcorn picture is just pure joy - there’s something really special about seeing a pig living its best life.
 
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