My little Clover

Eryan

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My sweet Clovie Dovie passed on the 19th, and I haven't felt okay to talk about it until now (yet I'm still crying like a baby while doing it). Clover and her sister came to us on the 19th of September and little did I know how much they would change our lives in 3 short months. We were told they were about 4 years old each and that they were the pets of two little girls who were no longer interested in them - that being said, when the girls came to us they were in a terrible state. We found them on Craigslist, an awful place to get a pet, I know, but we were led to them and I am so grateful for that. Before being introduced to the girls I asked the previous owner if they were healthy and if they got along, to both she responded yes, but they were lies. (The pictures below are images of Clover in her old enclosure that she shared with Pixie, filthy.)
Clovie1.jpgClovie2.jpg
Clover and Pixie were delivered to us in a cardboard box in a Walmart parking lot, they were covered in flies, had mangled nails, and poop-encrusted paws. We told them we would give them a better life and that's exactly what we tried to do. It was shortly after getting them home and out of that disgusting box that I was able to hold Clover for the first time, I noticed she had five giant lumps on her and one small one that I hadn't before noticed prior because of her fur. She had two under her chin and two under each arm, she was also peeing what resembled blood? Needless to say we took them both to the vet that very same weekend. This clinic was the only one opened and accepting new patients at the time, they were an hour away and had great reviews, so although it would be quite a drive, I thought my girls were going to be seen by someone who really knew their stuff. Meeting our vet for the first time, she immediately indicated that Clover did not look healthy and thus began the urine samples, x-rays, and weekly visits to be seen by her. By the end, Clover had visited this clinic 14 times and was prescribed 4 medications, none of which seemed to help her. We ended up pulling her off of all the meds and she seemed better following that. She had trouble keeping weight on, but at her last vet visit, a week before she passed, she was finally above 2 lbs. Her lumps were still there and the vet never discussed removal or even a biopsy, but they began to pop. This led to daily cleanings, the vets suggested putting her on her back to clean the wounds, something I never should have done, but I trusted them and did so. This is what I believe added to Clover's back problems, from then on she always complained when being held and walked more hunched, but we were discouraged from giving her any pain relief medication because the vet was worried it might mess her up. I feel so terrible about ever having her on her back, but her wounds had to be cleaned and that was the way they showed me how to do it, I never meant to add to her discomfort, but the lumps kept popping.
First night.jpg
In our last week with her, her second to last lump popped, a big one under her arm - this meant more cleaning. Because of the constant cleaning and the location of the wound, when Clover began to lose her balance a little, we thought it was because she wasn't yet adjusted to having such little weight on her one side. After all, the one that had just popped was about the size of a golf ball, we figured it was just such a big difference and that she would be sore and all that. We were wrong, and I wish I realized sooner than I did that her little tumbles once a day were something much more.
First vet trip.jpg
I'm still unsure if it was an ear infection, but at the same time Clover began to fall down (possibly a few days before the tumbles), her ears were always clogged with these huge chunks of ear wax which I would massage out for her. I brought this to the vets attention and all she said was "That's bizarre" or something like that and explained that some guinea pigs produce more wax. Which I know is true, but all of the sudden she was having these hunks of wax stuck in her ears every day, shouldn't that be a bit alarming? Shouldn't that be looked into? All the vet did was swab her ear, said everything looks fine and then billed us. So I came to you guys and posted about Clovie's ear dilemma and got some good responses, but I still never tied her falling down in with her ear problems, because that could've definitely played a part in her balance issues.
First solo vet trip.jpg
The holidays were coming up and the 18th was the day we set to pack the girls all up and make the 3 hour drive to our hometown, stopping every hour. This would be the longest drive the girls had ever been on but we got them all set up with hay, watery veggies, blankets, and their little dog beds. The morning was pretty normal, I commented that Clover's little noises sounded a bit sadder, so we decided that we'd take her to the vet the following day once we were home. Although it had been only a week since Clovie went to her normal vet, we figured a second opinion couldn't hurt. Everyone was eating, wheeking, and going on about their regular business. I had stopped cleaning Clover's recently popped lump the day before because she we getting upset with all the things I was doing to her, i.e. ear massages, stomach massages, boo-boo cleanings, and steaming her nose (it had been a bit runny and the vet suggested we steam her). I was trying to leave her alone a bit as to not stress her out too much and then add the car ride into the mix. So we got everyone in their crates, buckled them up, and went on our way.
Roadtrip.jpg
But two hours after taking the picture above, where Clover who is in the left crate can be seen with a glisten in her eye and happily eating her hay - She'd no longer be able to hold her head up. Although she'd eat small bits of hay and take water from a syringe, Clover was not okay. At a rest stop, while my boyfriend went to get some food, I checked on the girls. As soon as I put my hand in Clover's crate, I thought she was gone. She was so limp and unresponsive, nothing like the little girl I saw walking around only a few hours before. I took her out of her crate and cradled her. When I showed my boyfriend, he was so distraught but said that the only thing we could do at that time was get her where we were going and make her comfortable. So that's what we did, every time we stopped my heart fell further and further, she was deteriorating right in front of us, by the time we got to my boyfriend's parents' house, she wasn't able to walk unsupported. She dragged herself along the cage wall and threw herself into her food dish, attempting to eat. My boyfriend woke up several times throughout the night to give her critical care because she was struggling to chew, water, and readjust her because she kept falling over. I can't imagine how difficult that night was for him, I was at my childhood home, away from the girls and him, I felt awful being unable to help. All I could do was respond to his messaged and update you guys on my other post. (The picture of her below is only hours following the picture above.)
Sick Clovie.jpg
She had made it through the night but she was even weaker than before, the vet we planned on taking her to didn't open until 9am, but you guys encouraged me to find a 24 hour clinic to take her to. After some searching I was finally able to find one that would examine her and we rushed over. I saw her back in her crate looking worse than ever, as we drove her little body slumped back and let the bumps and stops move her about. By the time we got to the clinic I was holding onto her crate, we were both in tears, although we wanted to cuddle her so badly, we didn't dare take her out of her crate because we didn't want to bring her more discomfort. I gently pet her and her breathing was erratic, we talked to her in little whispers and tried to soothe her as we waited for the nurse to come out and take her. Before she was taken, my boyfriend shook her Oxbow cookie bag one last time for her, and she perked up, dragged her little body to the opening of her crate, and waited to be given a cookie. That was the most Clover-like thing we had seen her do since before we left our apartment the day before, we cried hysterically. Although she could no longer chew properly, I broke the cookie up into minuscule pieces and she attempted to take them from me, that was my girl, never turning down a treat no matter the circumstances. Our little goof. Eventually the nurse came and took her, and soon the vet called to explain that she was terribly bloated and most likely in extreme pain. She told us that her lumps could possibly be some form of lymphoma and although everything Clover appeared to be suffering from was treatable, it had all progressed to a point where she would most likely not survive surgery. She was too weak. The vet herself even said that she suggested euthanasia, so we went through with it. We were offered time to see her before she was put down, but I declined it. I wanted her out of pain, we allowed her to suffer too long and I wanted her to be at peace. But I feel so guilty because all I can imagine is her all alone in a big room with us not there to comfort her, she must've been so confused and scared, and we left her there. I feel so awful for not seeing her before she went, but I didn't want her to hurt anymore. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, and a piece of me feels like I just didn't want to see her because she was in such a state and she wasn't more normal happy girl, but I don't know. On December 19th, at about 8:24am, Clovie was put down, wrapped in the blanket we got for her and her sister when we first got them, and returned to us. Exactly three months to the day, Clovie was gone. We cried the entire drive home and I held her. She looked just like she did when she'd sleep in the blanket, but this time she wouldn't wake up to ask for treats or give anymore kisses. We showed Pixie her sister when we got home, she nugged Clover with her head and then made a low purr, that was the last time Pixie saw her sister. We buried Clover shortly after, she remained wrapped in her blanket, but we put a carrot, hay, and a cookie in the shoe box with her as well, her favorite things.
Cozy Clovie.jpg
I miss her so much and we often walk back to where she's buried and talk to her, even though that probably sounds crazy. The same day we buried her, the Christmas gifts I ordered for them were delivered, which made me even more miserable. I talk about her all the time, to literally everyone. She was so strong, when we got her she was covered in flies, had so many issues, her heart never beat right for the first two months, and her sister would never leave her alone, she dealt with so much. I miss her. When we got her she didn't even know what a vegetable was, she was too scared to eat anything besides hay. But by the end she was in love with peppers, cucumbers, romaine lettuce, and carrots (although she'd only get them on a rare occasion). She was such a different character from her sister, while Pixie has always been fearful and skittish, Clover hated sleeping in houses, she was that comfortable with us. She loved to sleep out in the open, make hay beds, and wheek, constantly. She was our alarm clock, everyday at 7am she'd wake us up for a cookie. But now the house is so quiet. She was our baby, we took care of her and her special needs everyday and now I feel like my purpose is gone.
Pixie is a lot more timid since her sister left us, floor time is focused more on hiding now than it is finding food. It doesn't help she's in a new location, with a lot more people, and a lot more sounds (my boyfriend's parents' house is across the street from several sets of train tracks). When we drove back here we figured her and Clovie would be able to overcome this new change together, but that unfortunately didn't get to happen. We've tried to get her a stuffed animal to live with and make her enclosure as comfy as possible, but she's still so frightened. It's a big change for everyone and it's been hard. These last two weeks have been unbearable without little Clovie. Please love your piggies so much while you have them, it hurts so much when they're gone. And always listen to your gut, I knew her noises were sounding sadder, even though her appeared fine, something was wrong and I should've fought to get her to the vet there and then, but instead we put it off for the next day. But the next day was too late.
I tired to attach some videos of her, I'm not sure if I got it to work, but they're short and sweet. They just show off what a silly and smart girl she was. She is so loved and so missed. Thank you for reading if you made it all the way through, I've been holding off on making this post for so long because it hurts too much but I hope following this my boyfriend, Pixie, and I can all start healing. We'll always carry Clovie in our hearts but she'd want us to be happy and live, not be tormented with so much sadness.
Goodbye my little happy girl.
 

VickiA

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I am so very sorry for your loss. You took in these neglected piggies and you have given them love, care and attention. Sadly Clover couldn’t be saved, but you gave her many happy days and love. Huge hugs. sleep tight beautiful Clover xx
 

Eryan

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While making the three hour drive home on the 18th, my boyfriend and I had to take separate cars. While I drove I listened to the audiobook of The Hobbit, but following everything that happened with Clover, the book only made me sad because of the emotions I felt while listening to it while she was sick. After dropping the book for almost two weeks, I ended up staring to listen to it again and I got to a part in the book that goes:
"It was the middle of the afternoon before they noticed that great patches of flowers had begun to spring up, all the same kinds growing together as if they had been planted. Especially there was clover, waving patches of cockscomb clover, and purple clover, and wide stretches of short white sweet honey-smelling clover. There was a buzzing and a whirring and a droning in the air. Bees were busy everywhere. And such bees! Bilbo had never seen anything like them."
"Especially there was clover," I can't tell you how much joy I felt following that line. There was Clover, she was there, among the bees and all the sweet smelling flowers, there was Clover, my sweet little girl. I felt like she was finally okay, as silly as it sounds, I know it was all but a coincidence but this to me was some sort of sign. I'm really not religious at all, I don't believe in an afterlife, but for her I want to so badly. I want her to be in guinea pig heaven, I want her to be wheeking and running about. I want her to be without any of those lumps, she was so close to having none, but I never got to see it. How I wish I got to see her without them, she would've been so beautiful. My lovely little girl, "there was clover," how I hope she's there.
 

David Piggie Lover

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Oh my. . Wow. . A long and detailed story that breaks my heart. .
I know its small comfort but if was near you I would hug you. :hug: what you did for Clover was amazing and you should have been rewarded with time together . .
people who lie to offload any animal. . Well I'm sorry but I can't say what I think
Rainbow world has a deeply missed piggie .
Well done for what you did. Be proud.
 

sport_billy

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I am so very sorry for your loss. It is obvious that you loved them so much and that is all anyone can want in life to be cherished. Please be kind to yourself at this sad time. Massive hugs to you x

Sleep well little one

RIP Clover
x x
 

Bill & Ted

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I am so sorry you have lost Clover, what a gorgeous little lady she was. Although you only had her for a short time she will have known just how much you loved her. Treasure you memories, sending hugs to you and your boyfriend x
Sleep tight beautiful little lady 🌈
 

Merab's Slave

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So very sorry to hear that you lost Clover.
You filled her last months with so much love and care - such a precious gift to give.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve.
 

Tara95

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post made me cry and every time I thought I recovered there was more especially the "there was clover" I can see how much you loved her. I think she's in a better place now free of pain and I think you did the right thing to take her out of pain as soon as you could. She was very lucky to have found you. You've still got one Piggy left, try and put all your energy into helping her as I know you will be. How is she doing health wise? I'm sure in time you'll be ready to find her a friend as hard as that may be. Take care of yourselves xx
 

Free Ranger

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So sorry for your loss and Pixie's. You loved your Clover so much and you can see in the videos how she loved and trusted you too. Some things are beyond our control but you gave her final months love and joy 💕
 

Eryan

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Thank you everyone for such sweet responses, posting about our experience has really helped us push through the heartbreak of losing her. I'm so thankful to have this community to talk to about things like this ❤
 

piggieminder

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I am so sorry you lost Clover. What a happy time you gave her, full of love, she would have felt so cherished, that is a wonderful gift.
Sleep peacefully little Clover. Xx
 
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