Need A Good Talking To

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madguinealady

madguinealady

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Mum in a bad way.when I'm stressed I start thinking about getting new animals.Have been offered a Swiss baby piggy but have six already.Do have space but she would have to go in with my duo and unsure wether it would affect their relationship.Last time I was going through a messy custody battle with x hubby ended up with 32 animals that I couldn't really afford.Don't want to end up in this situation again.Someone talk to me
 
All I can suggest is - close your eyes, breath deeply until you calm down. And think about the animals you already have and focus all your attention on them - I wouldn't consider any other animal until you have sorted out the main issues causing you stress.

When I was having panic attacks - I was told about the technique of shutting yourself away - ie: closet, toilet and closing your eyes and breathing in deeply counting to 3 and releasing letting all the bad out. It worked as well when my boss had a breakdown and found her crying in the Office. I sat with her until she was calm and safe enough to drive home.
 
MGL - I totally understand where you are coming from. It is like when things are going out of your control you give more animals a home to try to regain that control. I do that but mine is a weight loss thing.

I cant remember from your other posts but are you seeing a counsellor. You are going through such a hard time at the moment that I think you need to get extra help and support if possible.

You may have room for the extra piggy but just think - right now do you need the extra stress if the bonding doesn't work with the duo you intend to put it with.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs x
 
Well done for seeking help. You do not really want another animal, you just want something to distract yourself. You have enough animals.

What helps you when you are stressed. A hot bath? Reading? Watching a programme? Taking your dogs for a walk? Distraction can really help. Maybe a hobby such as knitting would be an idea.
 
Hi there

OK - I think I know where you are coming from. I think (I could be wrong I know) that the reason you start thinking of getting more animals is a distraction from the horrible things that are going on in your life. To give yourself something to think about other than the current stress. I think its displacement activity. I think in some ways its similar to "retail therapy" but with animals, rather than shoes ;)

I collect My Little Ponies and model horses (like Breyers, and Beswicks) I buy them from charity shops, junk shops etc and sometimes from ebay and my "My Little Pony" hunting does peak during times of stress. Sometimes if I have got through something really difficult, I will reward myself by buying a beswick horse.

Fortunately for me, that is a (because I buy secondhand) cheap hobby, without running costs like animals but I suspect that the triggers are similar.

You dont want to make yourself ill with stress and feeling over loaded having too many animals. Especially if you have been in that position before. You need to focus on the ones you have got and the love you have for them.

But you know whats really great about your situation now? You can recognise it! You have self knowledge - and that is a wonderful thing.

Deep breaths :) Go cuddle your guinea pigs. And if you do adopt the Swiss baby, photos please ;) x
 
Thanks everyone just need a kick up the backside.You are all talking sense and help loads.Love this forum
 
When my parent's marriage was falling apart, they ended up with more and more rescue animals. My dad worked for a horse sanctuary, and people used to regularly dump other animals at the gate, the people who worked there would mostly end up taking them home. We had our own 3 horses, then 3 rescue goats, a pig that was dumped on a road, rescue ducks, chickens, cats, dogs etc. All were well looked after and we certainly had the space but I think they took on more and more as a distraction to what was happening. What you are experiencing is very common I think more than people would admit.

Is there something you can do to give you another focus - I know you really enjoyed helping those long haired piggies and being their temporary foster carer! Maybe you could do that again? Or is there a piggy rescue you could help raise funds for?

What do you like to do to relax?

Dont be hard on yourself will you. You are just going through a very bad time. ((hugs)) We are here :)
 
Have a foster now.Went in pet shop for hay and sawdust and they had a sheltie sow in that someone had brought in to rehome. She had big mattes in her back end and is urine stained and had long nails.Have cut out her mattes and clipped her nails but too stressed for a bath.She is terrified
 
Oh poor little piggy. Are you going to rehome her yourself or are you fostering for a rescue?
 
Please be careful. It is always tempting to take on all the waifs and strays that need our help but it sounds like you need to be looking after yourself first....

Take a deep breath and make a list of all the things that are important to you and rank them in level of importance. Make sure that you can do your best to achieve these things. Mum is obviously very important as are your animals and their welfare. Your welfare is also very important.

Helping animals makes us all feel good but don't take on so much you get into a position that you cannot look after yourself or them effectively. all that ends up is the animals suffering and then you feel guilty too.

I have struggled with depression and at points it has been very close to me having to give up my animals as I could not give them the care the deserved due to my illness. It made me feel twice as bad to know they were suffering too for my lack of ability to care for themselves or myself. don't let it get that bad and don't make your burdens harder by adding to them. I know it's awful to walk away from an animal in distress but you have to trust that sometimes another kindly person will come along and do for them what you would have.

If you get ill, stressed, depressed or worse then the animals you already have can't manage without you. don't risk their future happiness by taking on more than you can manage.

Take care of yourself first and foremost - it's a hard lesson to learn, I know, but it's the only way to make it through these times and live another day to help the people and pets you care about.
 
Good message, MerryPip. Its just like when you have small children. You have to take care of yourself, so there is enough of yourself left over to take care of them :) You cant run on empty.

How are you feeling today? And how is your mother? x
 
Mum fell couple of days ago and frightened herself but she is getting about a little bit with a Zimmer.Will just have to See how she does.If she does get home will need looked after.The shelter is getting picked up by a rescue tomorrow.Have a good relationship with them so any that need help I am just a stop gap til they have space.Know my limits especially if I end up looking after mum.Bathed piggy today and she looks great.She will need pregnancy watch as well and I don't know what I am doing if she is pregnant.
 
madguinealady said:
Mum fell couple of days ago and frightened herself but she is getting about a little bit with a Zimmer.Will just have to See how she does.If she does get home will need looked after.The shelter is getting picked up by a rescue tomorrow.Have a good relationship with them so any that need help I am just a stop gap til they have space.Know my limits especially if I end up looking after mum.Bathed piggy today and she looks great.She will need pregnancy watch as well and I don't know what I am doing if she is pregnant.
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Good stuff. Just keep yourself safe :)
 
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