overwhelmed and struggling with life - am i failing my girls?

piggiemummy03x

piggiemummy03x

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i would just like to ask please everyone’s routine for their piggies.. how often you clean out, floor time, cuddles, how long it takes etc, basically everything piggie related.. i am struggling big time with my MH and feel
so totally overwhelmed with the smallest things in my life, let alone looking after my two girls. i do everything i physically can for them but i still feel its not enough, i’m worried i’m a bad owner and just wondered if anyone who may have been / is in the same situation as me could give me some advice.

our routine goes a bit like this.. i set the floor up for floor time, cut all veggies and prepare dellas cystsase, get the girls out for cuddles (literally only 5-10 mins a day, this is the first area i feel i am failing at) before putting them in pen. i check wee mats / beds / tunnels etc to see how smelly / used they are and either flip round if clean enough or replace with new ones. pick out all poos / hoover loose hay in cage and replace all hay with new fresh hay. between doing this i will feed the girls their veg and once cage is refreshed place them back, finishing veggies and any tickles i can get in. i do this daily and do the ‘big clean’ (replacing fleece and swapping cage contents) around every 3-4 days.

i feel this shouldn’t take me long, but it does, because i am so overwhelmed and basically in tears 24/7, this can honestly take me around 3 hours which is a big chunk of my day, yet i am only spending about 10 minutes with each pig bonding.

i don’t know how to cut this down, people tell me i don’t need to do this everyday and fresh hay on-top of previous days hay will do just fine, but i feel like i’m neglecting them if i don’t do this routine every day and massively beat myself up, causing more stress, anxiety and overwhelming thoughts.

my old girls lived outside, i would clean them out once a week but spend hours each day cuddling and bonding with then, i see youtube and videos on reddit of people who seem to do the same and i just feel so guilty.

we don’t have an outside run as the garden is overrun with mice so floor time is the only exercise they get outside their c&c cage, i just feel so lost and like i’m failing them i honestly don’t know what to do.

* a bit of info about my personal situation, i am with a mental health team, waiting on therapy but as most of you probably know, the nhs help and support around MH is just shocking. i have suffered for years and years, tried countless medications and therapy work with no luck. my girl’s overwhelm me (not their fault, just my stupid head) but to put it bluntly, they are the thing that’s keeping me here. i just feel i am an awful owner and they would be much better off somewhere else, with someone mentally stable who can actually live a normal life and do everything i struggle to.. please if anyone has any advice, even if its you feel they would be better off elsewhere, i would really appreciate it.

thank you all and i’m sorry to have had to post this x
 
I’m so sorry you are struggling at the moment. I have anxiety issues and can understand how negative thoughts can wheedle their way into your mind.

It sounds like you are doing great for your girls.

When I am preparing their veggies in the morning I do the evening veg too. So this saves me time in the evening. You don’t need to get them out every day. They have each other for company. They don’t really need you. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

I spot clean my boys poop twice a day when I top up their hay. I Don’t replace hay daily. I add fresh hay twice a day and totally clean the hay piles every three/four days and fully clean them out every 7 days.

I hope you can get to talk to someone soon. Take care ❤️
 
I'm very sorry that you're feeling so bad.

You're doing a lot for your girls. So you're clearly not failing them in any way. They won't mind not being cuddled everyday (though you might miss it).

Personally, I think that keeping piggies on fleece is a lot of work. I know that many people prefer it, but I really don't like it. I only do it because I have to at the moment.
Have you ever thought about using another sort of bedding?

Is there someone around who could help you with the daily routine?
 
I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much at the moment - I have mental health issues as well as physical chronic illnesses and often worry I’m failing my piggie boys, you’re not alone there

Sounds like you are giving them a wonderful life from what you’ve described. If your current routine is too much for you at the moment that’s okay - I have ‘good day’ and ‘bad day’ routines, bad day is the bare minimum to keep my boys happy and safe and the good day routines include all the bonding and interaction which is really more for me than them! As long as your piggies have each other for company, all you need to do is keep them fed, watered, and clean and they’ll be happy

I don’t clean out their hay every day, especially not on bad days. The only things I do every day is change their water, add hay, give them their nuggets and veggies, spot clean, and a little head scratch in the cage if they want it that day. Changing out hay is once every 3-4 days in bad illness periods, and a full clean/changing the liner is done every 2-3 weeks. Like you I flip or change out their smaller fleece pads, but I do this every 3-4 days when I clean out the hay, not every day

When I’m doing better, I get them out for floor time or lap time, but it’s comforting to know they don’t strictly need this to be okay. As long as they have a big enough cage then they don’t need time to run around outside it daily - I do try to get them out at least once a week but sometimes I can’t do that when I’m not in a good period, and that’s okay. I do as much as I can when I can

I also have help from my partner/friends who pre-chop their veggies for the week on a Sunday so all I have to do is grab a handful from the fridge, weigh it out and give it to them, which lets me focus my energy on the fun bit - spending time with them in the cage is one of my bright spots when I’m sick. As you’re overwhelmed right now it’s okay to pull your routine back for a bit and ask for help if you have people around who could step in, even if it’s only small things it can help. If you’re on your own, setting aside one day to do some prep for the week can help too. I really hope you’re able to get support soon, in the meantime be gentle with yourself, all you can do is your best and your piggies aren’t in any way suffering for it ☺️
 
I’m sorry you are struggling but you most certainly are not failing them at all. You are doing a brilliant job for them.
The reality is, they have each other. You don’t need to cuddle them every day and you don’t need to give them floor time every day as they’ve got a good enclosure size. Once a week for floor time is enough.
Of course you are going to want to interact with them but you don’t need to put pressure on yourself for it to be daily if you aren’t feeling up to it. It can be something as simple as a few minutes hand feeding their veg or pellets to them rather than taking them out and cuddling.
If you or someone can give their enclosure a spot clean each day, and that they are fed and have plenty of hay, then that is all they need.

As you know, I have six animals. My four piggies in three separate enclosures are in my shed. I also have a pair of rabbits in another enclosure. They are all on snowflake softchip and hay as bedding.

On the days I’m going to work, I take about 15 minutes in the morning to spot clean (and I don’t necessarily get every single poop out but I do make sure wet areas are removed) and feed and about 30-40 minutes in an evening (because I do have more time) to do all four enclosures. I’ll also hand feed a bit of their evening veg to them for a bit of interaction with them. They don’t get picked up daily as none of them like it. Wilbur piggy and both rabbits do get stroked each day as they want to be.
I’d spend more time in an evening if I could but I have a family, helping hubby run the business, working at my own job plus I volunteer for Girlguiding. The animals are well looked after but in the week it is the essentials - fed, clean, watered.
My animals are not removed from their enclosures while I do the cleaning so I’m interacting with them at the same time - they are inevitably running around me and trying to get in the dustpan!

I find snowflake softchip to be so easy. I sweep the majority of the poops off the top without disturbing the rest of the bedding (some fall through the hay but will get picked up during the weekly clean) and I can remove deeper wet areas easily. I find it much easier even than shavings.

On my day off or at the weekend Is when I spend more time - I can be out there for hours. Full cleans, tidying up in the sheds, and generally spend a bit more time out there either directly (hand feeding, weight checks, health checks) or indirectly (going about my jobs in the shed while chatting to them) interacting with them. Full clean outs are once a week but even then three out of the four enclosures don’t need full cleans and I can leave probably 50% of the bedding undisturbed (Dexter and popcorn are messy so do always need a full clean).

The piggies don’t get out of their enclosures unless it is summer and unless I’m there to watch them. (Different for the rabbits as their set up is year round access to an outdoor area).

I also have anxiety and low mood but my issues are never based around them - it’s with them that I’m most clear in my head.
 
I know how hard it is, I am so sorry to hear of the position you are in.
You are doing so well by your girls but I do understand how it can feel from your perspective.

I really struggle with mental illness (anxiety) and have been on medication for almost two years now. I stopped leaving the house fully 4 years ago and only over the past 6 months have I got to much better place, with the help of medication and a therapist who really helped me achieve my goals. Even after all this my success certainly isn’t linear, and you should never feel less than so after you have a wobble.
It’s not about me but I just want you to know you’re not alone, I will never fully understand what you are going through but I know how truly hard it is.

In all honesty most owners on the forum prefer to not pick up their pigs at all aside from weekly health checks, most piggies don’t really like being picked up at all so if anything you might find just sitting and watching them interact quite nice as seeing their little personalities is so rewarding.
Just talking to your girls and hand feeding them can help you make a bond. I’ve had a new baby almost 2 weeks now and he’s already starting to understand my voice, and that in itself is so rewarding to me.

As for cleaning, in all honesty I only spot clean once a day as that’s all I can manage. My routine with them takes at least one hour, morning and evening, and it can feel a lot.
That is mostly because I have recently upgraded to two hutches and two runs, and I can’t help myself from stopping to speak to them or see how they’re doing each morning/evening.
I did the bare minimum for two of my boys a couple years ago, and in all honesty if they are fed and clean, then they’re fine. If you have to, you do the bare minimum.

I did find I didn’t have as much of a bond with them, I only really found the amazing bond/feeling that you get from owning piggies over the last year or so, but this bond comes mainly from talking and hand feeding etc. not handling. On the flip side I enjoy handling my boys a lot so I do find the time to handle sometimes atleast one of them a day. This mostly consists of them being sat on my lap and eating their dinner, as most don’t like being pet at all.

Everyone’s different, there is no right or wrong as long as they are fed and clean.
I hope things get better for you soon, you deserve it. Aside from this post I know how you talk/care about your girls and there’s no thought in my mind that they live nothing less than an amazing life with a caring/loving owner.

Edit - There has been a hood thread recently about handling you may want to check out - Is it Detrimental NOT to Handle Very Often?
 
A suggestion - if it's causing you enough grief that you have to do it daily, is it worth trying to find something else - some sort of quick/easy craft, maybe - where you can put them in the run, feed and water as necessary, but instead of doing the cage clean that causes you the stress, do the craft? Something that works as a distraction. Distraction crafts have saved my sanity more times than I can count, and because I choose to do the braiding as my craft it means I can sit in the cage or nearby and have that time with them without worrying should I do this, or that. Because I've been there and I know how horrifically stressful it can be, and sometimes people offering support can feel like they're making it worse because the stress just takes over regardless.

I can't do floor time. There's no room upstairs and downstairs is too cold 95% of the year. So I gave them a bigger cage that gets cleaned out once a week. I use a mix of fleece and disposable bedding, it doesn't smell (I might be noseblind, but I've had others in the house who've said hello when the cage is due a cleanout and they've said it didn't smell either). The full clean can take several hours so I do it in the evening, when I'm not expecting visitors or a knock on the door.

I also don't handle the goblins much. They're not fans, at all, but they're comfortable with me. I know this because they wouldn't demand I handfeed them through the bars if they were afraid of me. They wouldn't come running for their veggies if they weren't comfortable with me. They have their limits and I respect that.
 
Our routine is mornings - fresh hay & water and a lettuce leaf.
Talk to piggies.
Lunchtime - if anyone is home they get a little snack of herbs or a piece of cucumber.
Afternoon - anytime between 3:30 and 5:30 they get their veggies. If we’re very busy it’s just a handful of salad.
Mine don’t get floor time but they do have a big cage.
They get attention but rarely cuddles as they don’t like being handled.
Mine live on wood shavings as I found fleece too much work, I clean them every 5 - 7 days depending on how busy I am.

We have a very relaxed regime and when time permits, especially when working from home, they get attention and conversation.

So sorry that you’re struggling but piggies do survive happily with a flexible routine.
They will still demand food at every opportunity 😁

Look after yourself
 
Ugh I totally feel you! I have 4 guinea pigs, and it always takes me like 3-4 hours to deep clean, when for some people it's less than an hour! I am just so slow it's like I feel lethargic
 
My piggies have a large enclosure. They don’t come out for floor time very often. They have each other for company and don’t need much more company and interaction from me. One will tolerate being cuddled, the other screams blue murder. My son works from home in their room 3 times a week. I pop in and chat with them as and when I’m passing and they often call out to me.
They are fed fresh veggies twice daily and hay and pellets are replaced daily. I do a spot clean with the dustpan and brush once each day. Pee pads are changed daily and the full cage is cleaned once every 6-7 days unless really messy any earlier. When I do the big cage clean I mix things up a bit with different tunnels/houses/castle for enrichment. They are very happy piggies. I think they have a great life, but more importantly I feel we have the balance right so that I don’t feel that I’m forcing myself upon them and I don’t make my own life overly hard in caring for them.
I think you are doing a great job. Your piggies are getting far more attention than many others. If you need to prioritise your own health then just cut back to the bare essentials. They will still be happy and you will feel less pressured. Hugs x
 
This is exactly how I've been feeling piggiemummy, I have been so anxious and constantly worry that my boys are bored, hungry, not having enough 'out of the cage' time, not being handled enough etc., etc. It does sound like you are doing a really good job of looking after your girls though (As others have already said), but I do know exactly how you are feeling. 😔 I hope these helpful replies really make you feel better about your excellent care for your piggies though, they have certainly helped me.....Until I start worrying again. 😣
 
just wanted to say a huge thankyou to you all, i read your messages a while ago but have just been a bit overwhelmed and haven’t been able to reply.. you have all made me feel so much better about the care of my girls and i have managed to change our routine a little which has helped! still very stressed with della having what seems like constant UTIs😢 but trying to stay positive x
 
My dad's been in hospital so I have a very pared back piggie routine at the moment daily: sweep poos, pellets in the morning, veg in the evening, replace hay.
2-3 days: change water, quick cuddle 5 mins, pre-chop veg.
Weekly: full cage clean, floor time, weigh in, quick cuddle
Sometimes we just have to go back to basics and slowly work our way back up again.
P.s. if all else is failing for your mental health have you considered that you may have a neurodiversity like autism or ADHD. Some of us were built a little different and need a different approach. I'm only speaking from my own experience of years of battling against anxiety and depression only to find I have autism and probably ADHD
 
Sweet Potato said:
My dad's been in hospital so I have a very pared back piggie routine at the moment daily: sweep poos, pellets in the morning, veg in the evening, replace hay.
2-3 days: change water, quick cuddle 5 mins, pre-chop veg.
Weekly: full cage clean, floor time, weigh in, quick cuddle
Sometimes we just have to go back to basics and slowly work our way back up again.
P.s. if all else is failing for your mental health have you considered that you may have a neurodiversity like autism or ADHD. Some of us were built a little different and need a different approach. I'm only speaking from my own experience of years of battling against anxiety and depression only to find I have autism and probably ADHD
Click to expand...
Sorry about your dad - hope he’s doing better now
 
Merab's Slave said:
Sorry about your dad - hope he’s doing better now
Click to expand...
Better but it's going to be a long slow recovery. He spent 3.5 weeks in a coma following a road traffic accident. We're on week 6 now and he's sitting up chatting away physio have started to get him walking and he's been moved out of ICU onto a recovery ward. It's still early days but there was a point we feared he may never recover to this point so to be here already is amazing.
 
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