Problem Slave Advice Needed

[piggieminder]

Me and Peanut have thought for some time that our slave is losing the plot. We used to have a nice quiet home here, just us and our spacious apartment, then we got downstairs neighbours last year. A few months ago a young pair of noisy boars moved in upstairs, the slave does nothing to quieten them, she thinks their cute! Yesterday we couldn't go outside for grass because it was raining and we would get wet, so she decides to clean our 'smelly grease' glands and give us a bum bath. The slave then accused me of being filthy because I turned the water brown. Me filthy - how rude can you get, anyway I got clean water and a full bath. I mean how does that make sense, we couldn't go outside because we would get wet. And what's all this grease gland cleaing anyway? The clue is in the name Mrs. - me and Peanut are real boarly boars, we are supposed to smell boarly. Please help us fellow forum members, if this was your slave what would you do?
Yours, Spike and Peanut.

 

[Betsy]

Well me, Dennis, Meg and Velvet (don't know where Christian is he only seems to appear out of nowhere at cuddle time and he smells funny) all agree that your slave is losing the plot - fancy not letting you go outside cos she doesn't want to get wet in the rain and then gives you a bath! What is she thinking? She was very rude saying you were filthy you were just being yourself! If she were our slave we would absolutely refuse to have another bath they are scary anyway all that water - horrible. Love from Betsy ps I do worry about Christian we haven't seen him for a couple of days except for about 10 mins and why does he smell funny?

 

[piggieminder]

Dear Betsy,
We are sorry to hear about Christian's disapperance how odd, at least if you have seen him you know he's there somewhere. He probably smells funny 'cause she bathed him, we smell funny after our bath. When we were little our slave used to take Peanut away for a while to feed him special food 'cause I ate too fast and Peanut wasn't getting enough. Blimmin cheek as if? me eat more than my share? Peanut soon put a stop to that, he refused to eat anything without me. Good ole Nutters.
Love Spike.

 

[Betsy]

Hello Spike
I don't think that slave has given him a bath cos when she does he comes straight back to us. I have seen the indoor cage which is where we go sometimes when we have been to see another slave who is called "The Vet" who also smells funny. Maybe Christian has been there? Anyway Christian smells like pellets only not quite! Maybe slave is giving him special food? If so why single him out? It's not fair! I'm second on command! Why does he get special treatment?
Love Betsy

 

[Flutterby]

I think you should demand more veggies as compensation!

 

[piggieminder]

Oh Dear Betsy,
It's not fair if Christian is getting special food over you. But maybe he's not well, if he's smelling of funny pellets. When Peanut went to the vet slave he had his throat cut to get his blood out. He got fed runny mush stuff for days, he didn't like it much and doesn't ever want to go to see that slave again.
With love from Spike.

 

[Betsy]

Dear Spike
I guess you may be right. I am missing not seeing Christian as he is my friend. Dennis is OK but Christian is lovely! I used to prefer Dennis but his head has got very big since he appointed himself President of the Stripey nose club! Just cos he's the only one with a white stripe down his nose! Well I say PAH! to that. I hope Christian will join us all again soon. Slave hasn't told us what has happened to him but maybe she doesn't want to upset us. I want to see him tonight at cuddletime to let know he is still my special friend. I think I shall groom his face just so that he knows I love him.

Love from Betsy

 

[Merab]