R.I.P My Darling Ducky

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StephieAck

Junior Guinea Pig
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Widnes, Cheshire
27/10/08 12.15am – I was heading to bed, later than usual because I had been watching Most Haunted Live on tv.
I always looked in on Ducky before I turned in for the night and did so as usual.
I saw no chest movements from Ducky and my heart sunk, she was gone.
I sat on the chair next to her cage and stared at her, she did a deep breath and my heart jumped.
I reached into the cage and picked up a very cold and stiff Ducky.
I put her back down and ran and made up a warm water bottle (warm not hot) and covered it with a pillow case to prevent hurting Ducky and placed her on it and sat stroking her.
She looked all but dead, but kept taking the odd deep breath, so I decided to cuddle her properly.
27/10/08 12.40 – 02.56 am – I put the water bottle in my nighty against my chest and laid Ducky onto it, laying a warm towel over us for comfort and just cradling her tiny body against me (the water bottle on me) and stroking her and telling her that I loved her and that she had a wonderful place waiting for her, where she would meet my Charcoal and other lovely animals that would all love her.
She stayed just as she was when I found her, but warmed and more relaxed.
Around about 2.52am she did a deeeeeep breath and stretched out and then the breathing became more laboured and like little gasps.
Around 2.54am she stopped gasping and stretched again but gave a little squeak and then started breathing more shallow.
Around 2.56am she did the stretch and squeak and looked as though she could jump up and walk around, but she didn’t, she lay down and a stillness came over her face and her breathing became very faint and very shallow, I told her to let go and to go to the beautiful place that waited for her, I kissed her little head and told her I loved her.
3am – Ducky’s last breath barely moved her chest and she was gone.
I was sat up in bed cuddling her next to a half asleep husband and nudged him and told him “she’s gone†and began to cry.
He leant over and said “Im so sorry honey†and lay back down.
I took Ducky into the spare room where she had been living now it is cold outside, too cold to live in even my heated shed.
I lay her on the towel on a pillow and just stared at her, waiting for another breath, which of course never came.
I cried and picked her up and cuddled her and kissed her and said goodbye to her.
I got my best, softest face flannel and wrapped it around her and kissed her once more and put her back into her corner in her cage, with all of her lovely warm bedding around her.
I couldn’t bury her right away because it was 3.25am by that point (I really took my time to say goodbye to her) and so I went to bed, where I lay crying for a good while before sleep took over.
I woke up and the realization that my little girl had gone hit me.
I walked into the spare room praying that it was a dream and hoping to see her eating or something.
Of course I didn’t, she had been gone over three hours by that time, and that sadness hit me again.
I am a keyholder for the school I work at and so I had to go and open up for the workmen that are in during the holidays and the minute I got back I prepared the spot in my little patch at the bottom of my yard (don’t have a lawn, its just a raised pond with a deep flower bed that hubby built) where we have a little cat figurine thing and right next to the roses.
I went upstairs and uncovered my girl and held her in my arms and cuddled her and told her that I loved her once again, seriously not wanting this all to be true.
I had gotten some blue roll (like industrial kitchen roll) and made a nice little nest to wrap my girl in.
I know that she is dead and will not feel the cold soil around her, but I didn’t want her to be cold in the ground, so I placed her in the little nest thing and said goodbye and that I love her and placed it into the deep hole that Id made, nice and laid comfortably in the ground and reluctantly covered her over with the soil, before pulling off a late blooming rose and placing it atop her ‘grave’.
After that I washed up and just tried to get on with things as usual, which I'm managing to do, but with little bouts of tears.
I haven’t been as close to a hamster since I was a child, but Ducky crept into my heart and made herself a special place there and there she will stay, in my heart and in my mind.
She is running happily over the rainbow bridge now, where she is restored to her youth, where nothing ailed her, when she ate heartily and romped happily in her home, which is what I reckon she is doing right now.
Night night dear Ducky, your mama Stef misses you already and will always love you and will cherish your memory until the day we meet again in paradise, sleep safe and warm, I love you x
xx Stef xx
 

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I'm so so sorry. What a painful night for you. She was very lovely. Sleep well, little one xx
 
Oh No! poor Ducky :( At least shes in rainbow bridge having fun with the other hamsters. I'm in tears from your post its very touching, you can tell how much she meant to you. shes a beauty and your both very lucky to have had eachother. RIP Ducky. Have fun on rainbow bridge lil lady. so sorry for your loss Stef x
 
I'm so sorry to hear about Ducky, it's awful when you know they are on their way and you just want to do anything you possibly can to make it easier and more comfortable for them. And I completely understand in wrapping her up before her little burial - we've done exactly the same for the three boys we've lost too.

She sounds like she was a little sweetheart.
x
 
Stef i am so sorry to hear about Ducky. You were with her til the end, she wanted to be with you.

RIP little one, sleep tight xxxxxxx
 
Its actually restored my faith in something bigger, every night I asked for 'him' or whatever gets to choose, to take her that night (she hasnt been 'right' for a good week now, not ill, just on her way to the bridge) I would say out loud "please, make this her night" and it never was her night, so I finally just said "ok fine, at least let me be there when you decide it IS her time"...and I was there, so I feel as though something heard me and made it happen.
I do feel that she wanted me to be there and as Ive said, I was totally honoured.

Thank you everyone for such lovely comments, it really does mean alot.

xx Stef xx
 
So sorry about Ducky, you have made me :08... thinking about my Jazz, she too was a special little thing. Hope you are feeling better soon. Sending love
 
Oh love.....i'm so so sorry that little Ducky has gone to the bridge 8...8...
RIP Ducky run free at the bridge little one, there's lots of other beautiful piggies there to show you where the best grass is and the dandelions too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and loves from me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thankyou so much for sharing Ducky's last moments i know how difficult it is to do this, but i hope like me it will help you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx>>>xx>>>xx>>>

Oh Steph i'm sorry i've said piggie........i meant hammies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
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I am so so very sorry, have tears rolling down my face after reading :0

Sleep in peace Ducky, you beautiful girl x)

Niki x
 
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it must have been a terrible night for you:(. It isn't something I have had to go through yet, but I'm sure she knew how much you loved her, and that is what is important xx
 
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. By the sounds of it, you loved her very much, as she did to you. I'm glad she will have fun over the great bridge :)
 
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