anniedabannie
Junior Guinea Pig
I joined this forum several years ago looking for guidance and a place to just gush about my new best friends. Once we’d found our paws, I stopped looking on here and just enjoyed our time together.
Now, four years later, I’m back, utterly heartbroken.
I got Poldark and Sage at the age of 16. They were my therapy animals to help me out of an extremely rough patch where I was so unwell in myself that I wasn’t even eating or sleeping or moving at all. My two new friends made such a difference. The isolation lifted, I made myself get out of bed to look after them, and on the really bad days they joined me in my bed for cuddles, carrots and QI.
Sage especially was a cheeky pig, it was hard to gain his affection but when you did it was like nothing else. He loved scratches under his chin and made a great purring noise. I will miss that a lot. I will miss so many things about him.
We got through my GCSEs and then A levels together - all the time my two little companions being there to love when my mood sunk. And then when I began my prelim year of vet med, they were my literal guinea pigs - sitting nicely for me to listen to their hearts and practice my clinical skills on. They listened when I saw my first euthanasia. They listened when a vet I was shadowing told me I should consider another career because I wasn’t clever enough for vet med. They listened when I cried over lambs I’d lost at lambing time.
Every sleepless night, they were awake with me. Listening.
They were by my side when I decided to pursue English and creative writing instead. And we’ve had a wonderful year while I’ve got my head screwed on right again.
I was away this week lambing again - this time just for fun and to enjoy the Lake District. I left Poldark and Sage in my sister’s care. Yesterday, she found Sage dead in the little bed bit of their cage. She said he looked peaceful, that he was fine that morning and gone by the afternoon.
There are so many “what ifs” and “should haves” going round my head. Every time I look at photos of him I realise those little lips will never kiss my fingers again. He won’t nibble my hair again when I fall asleep during cuddle time. I will never get to scratch his chin and hear him purr ever again. He won’t make those little “put-put” noises when I give them a new toy to try. I won’t get to smooth the fur on his chest. I can’t kiss his apricot belly any more. I can’t rub his flower-petal ears between my fingers. My sweet little Sage is gone.
The what ifs and the should haves won’t bring him back. I’ll remember our times watching QI when I was ill, that time he chewed off a huge chunk of my hair on sixth form photo day, the time he peed on my new boyfriend the moment he saw him (who became an ex lol). I’ll remember lying in the grass on a summer’s day, watching him and Poldark popcorn around their run before getting some serious eating and then sleeping done. I’ll remember us touching nose to nose through the bars.
Wherever he is, and whyever he’s there, he’s popcorning now and causing trouble. Poldark and I will miss him. We can’t kiss him any more, but we can still love him. <3
