She died in my arms.. I’m still in shock

D

danuutka

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Hello. I have lost my 6 year old pig Poppy today.

She was a shiny black self, who was blind in both eyes. She was the most gorgeous, angelic girl, but also the laziest. For the past year she used to just laze around for most of the day.

She hadn’t lost any weight, she didn’t display any unusual behaviour - she had slowed down over the past year but we assumed that was age related. She didn’t show any signs of pain either. This morning she freaked me out because she didn’t respond as quickly as normal, but she has been a deep sleeper since we got her.

About an hour before she died, she was given hay with her friends and she stuck her head out of the bed and got stuck in like normal.

We came upstairs and heard an awful gasping (I now think it was her agonal breathing). By the time I got to her, she was unconscious, but still had a rapid heart rate. I could feel it for about 15 seconds against my hand before it stopped.

I’m utterly devastated and confused. I saw some dried snot around her nose when I picked her up, so I’m kicking myself wondering whether she had a URI we missed and whether she was in pain.

I found her in a corner away from where she usually was, but with a mouthful of hay - maybe that means she died quickly and painlessly?

I’ve never had a piggy actually die in my arms, I’ve only ever found them already dead so I think I’m also massively worked up over that. And the guilt of “what if” is eating me alive - what if I got to her sooner, what if I had picked her up and checked her over this morning when she freaked me out this morning? I don’t know.
 

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I'm so sorry you lost your precious little piggy..RIP Poppy
 
So sorry to hear this, it sounds extremely sudden and it sounds likely there was nothing anyone could have done, but what a horrible, traumatic shock for you. A quick passing for the pig is probably easier for them, but it really takes its toll on the loving owner, it can be so upsetting and frightening I find. They can go downhill so quickly sometimes, despite everything we do to give them the best lives. You didn't do anything wrong. I am sorry you're going through this.

Poppy sounds like a lovely girl, and that's a beautiful picture.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss

It sounds to me like she wasn’t ill but rather this was just her time at a great age. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
I agree with Lucy that A sudden passing is a shock for you but easier for poppy.

Seeing them pass, the process is quite a lot more physical than you would think. I’ve find several animals already gone but have also been present for a couple and it is a shock to see for the first time.

Sending you hugs
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. 💔
Like the others wrote, it sounds like a quick passing. There wouldn't have been anything you could have done to change the outcome. Poppy was a great age. But of course it was a hugh shock for you.
Sleep tight sweet girl! 🌈
 
Poor girlie, saying goodbye after such a long time can't be easy. I think she was probably one of your favourites, and being blind must have made her all the more vulnerable and appealing. She was very beautiful 🥰 She might have had a respiratory infection but it sounds as if any immune response could have been muted by old age and so if she had an infection it would have been difficult to spot as it would not have had many symptoms other than perhaps sleeping more. They used to say pneumonia is the friend of the elderly, but I haven't heard that expression used for a very long time. It almost sounds like she waited to say goodbye and then set off for the bridge, sweet girl. RIP little Poppy, graze sweetly over the bridge 🌈
 
I am so sorry for the loss of Poppy 🌈 As caring people we always ask the 'what if' questions but we will never know I know it's of little comfort because we always want more but she was a great age which is a credit to you. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve and please when you're ready take time to read through the bereavement links on here and in time you may like to start a Rainbow Bridge post for your girl where you can share your thoughts, memories and feelings 💕
The photo iof your Poppy s beautiful 🥰
 
So very sorry that you have lost Poppy.
You gave her a wonderful life and to pass away enfolded in your love was a great gift.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Honestly, most of my piggies have passed pretty quickly after being seemingly fine. I think the fact that she was eating would indicate that whatever happened was probably very quick and painless.

((HUGS)) to you and I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a lovely piggie who lived a full, happy live. Be kind to yourself as you grieve.
 
BIG HUGS

I am very sorry for your huge shock. Please try to take consolation that your beloved little one has had - when the time came - the quickest possible natural journey to the Rainbow Bridge with the smallest amount of pain. The heart attack must have killed instantly. I have found a couple of my oldies that way over the years and while I was very sad, I felt blessed for them that they were able to have a happy and long life in love and good care right up to the very last moment.

Would we not rather bear the extra pain of the shock ourselves if this makes for an easier ride for our beloved ones if we were given the choice?

Please be sad about losing Poppy but don't feel bad. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it and there is nothing you have done wrong. We can only ever do our best to give our piggies a good life but we never have any control over when, in which way and which circumstances the end comes. For Poppy it was pretty instant while she was doing something she loved doing after a very happy life with you. She didn't even have time to swallow or spit it out. And she gained her angel wings from your arms carried by your love even though by that time, she was no longer conscious. Like in a car that keeps rolling on rolling a little further when the engine suddenly cuts out.

Please give yourself time to not be OK and to grieve as you have to digest both the shock and the loss. That is quite a lot to process all at once.

End of Life and Bereavement Support Corner
 
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