So Many Bittersweet Feelings With A New Piggy

[Freela]

As many of you probably remember, I lost my 6-year-old piggy, Linney, last week. She was such a great pig and such a big part of my life and I miss her immensely. Because Sundae (surviving pig) seemed so lost on her own and because the kids were very much comforted by bringing home a new friend for Sundae, we came home with Hadley on Sunday. She's totally gorgeous (she's in my avatar pic right now) and it's always exciting to have a new pet. She seems to be settling in well, she was initially really fearful, but I have caught her out of the pigloo eating and using the water bottle a few times, and instead of standing like a frozen little statue while I pat her, she was moving around my lap and looking up at me and even making that little happy squeaking sound when I was patting her head last night. So things are going great... except she's just not Linney. I have been in this place before when we got Sundae, and I know I eventually we will develop our own relationship and I will love Hadley too... except right now, I just don't. I know it will improve with time, but right now... just feeling very sad. I am also anxious about how the introductions will go with Sundae. Right now Hadley is still in quarantine because I really don't know where she has been before now and want to be sure that she doesn't have anything communicable first. I just hope her and Sundae get along. I think if I see Sundae happy with a new friend, that will go a long way towards helping me feel better.

 

[piggyfan]

I can totally understand how you are feeling. It is so painful to lose a little one and when you have to get the remaining pig a friend it brings up all sorts of feelings. It takes time to form a bond and to get to know a new piggy and therefore it takes time to love them. This is perfectly natural. Please allow yourself time to grieve for Linney. You have only just lost her. I wish I could make you feel better. Hugs to you.

 

[Abbie]

I completely understand how you feel! I went through the same thing last year.

When my Squeak passed away Bubble became very down because he really relied on Squeak to make him confident. So when Bubble was alone, all of his confidence disappeared!

When Bubbles new friend Piglet arrived I didn't really know how I felt. I kept thinking 'but you aren't Squeak' but then I would think 'but you are totally beautiful and so friendly'. It was hard to build that bond at first. But now I've got to know Piglet he is the most crazy little thing and I love him to pieces! And Bubble loves him too! I find it really helps you to feel better when you see the remaining piggie happy again!

But the pig you have lost remains in your heart forever and you'll never forget about them!

I hope you will feel better soon. I also wish you good luck with the introductions!x

 

[luciee]

It is hard to bond with another piggie after losing one Just don't feel guilty for allowing yourself to like another guinea pig. Give yourself time to adjust and keep your memories of Linney hugs to you x

 

[Wiebke]

Give yourself time to grieve for Linney and don't stress yourself out about not feeling anything for Hadley yet. That is very normal when you are not yet open for a new journey. Humans and guinea pigs don't grieve less, but they grieve at different speeds. Hadley is there for Sundae, not for you!

I went through it after my Minx's death when her companion chose another red dutch piggy, but as sweet and amusing timid, but very much loved up "toy boy" Llewelyn was, he WAS NOT MINX! Llewelyn did creep into my heart almost unnoticed, but it took several weeks. He eventually became the founder piggy of the Tribe.

You will find that your relationship with Hadley will be very different to the bond you shared with Linney, but then each piggy creates its own unique tie with your heart. They are all different and equally valid.

 

[Piggly]

Totally understand. It always takes time to bond with a new piggy as everyone has said. At some point you will realise she will never replace Linney - but you have bonded with her as she is Different bonds with different pigs never replace one another, they are just new! Just realised I have basically repeated what Wiebke has said, but its very true. I think those bonds continue as the piggy grows older too. My oldest pig is the one I have bonded with the most, although I love my other three very much! Every day you handle them helps build a bond.

 

[Flutterby]

*hugs* it's not something easy to do, giving a home to a piggy so soon after loosing another, but time heals and though you will never forget that loss I'm sure you will form a fantastic bond with your new piggy soon enough

 

[Veggies Galore]

All the above posts are so touching.

I'm afraid that grieving is the price we pay for loving are guinea pigs so much.

I can tell by your post that are treating Hadley well and fairly even though you don't feel such a strong bond with her yet.

Hadley will never replace Linney but Hadley doesn't need to. I can tell by your post there is a place in your heart waiting for her to fill.

I love my 3 guinea pigs equally - but I love them differently .

 

[Freela]

Thanks everyone. I know I will grow to love her, I just am not there yet... and why would I be, as I don't really know her yet. I know I felt the same way when we got Sundae after Frenzy passed away... she was fine, but she wasn't Frenzy. And I know that I now love Sundae just as much, with her own unique personality and her own unique traits. I know in time I will feel the same about Hadley. It's just hard when you aren't there yet. I also think that Linney will always have a special place in my heart. She (and Frenzy) were the first pigs I got as an adult (my last guinea pig before those two was way back in childhood.) Six years isn't that long in the great scheme of things, but I think she has kind of been a constant in my life through that time and all the changes that come with kids growing up, going back to school, job-hunting, etc. I feel an emptiness from having a part of my life that was really good and stable and comforting not being there anymore. As you've all said, and as I've seen for myself with Sundae, I know that I will develop a relationship with Hadley and I will love her just as much in my own unique way. I think that losing Linney feels like the end of an era in some way... the last of my original pair is gone now.

 

[Wiebke]

It feels like the end of an era, and losing your first piggies is often worse, as they are special and the trail blazers. Linney has been such an integral part of your life and will always remain that, but it is tough to adjust to a life that goes on without her.

There are unfortunately no shortcuts for grieving and you have to grieve to the same degree that you have loved; it is the other side of the same coin.

 

[sport_billy]

I am sorry Freela, I know how you feel. When piggies of pairs pass it feels like you lose the other all over again... Our hearts mend otherwise we'd never be able to go on and love again.
Hadley will find her own nest in your heart. x

 

[VickiA]

I think we all know how you feel. I adore my Mr Ted but he brought out terrible feelings of disloyalty in me. The gorgeous Aby in my avatar was Toffee who was my most beloved pig. When I knew she was dying I had to plan for her survivor, so we started to look for a companion for her. Mr Ted came into our lives and gorgeous as he was I just didn't really bond with him that well at first. I had a real struggle dealing with grief over over Toffee and guilt that I almost resented Mr Ted being in her place, plus the usual worries that perhaps the bonding with Mr Ted and Fudge might not work and then he'd have a miserable life...... It all worked out well, in the end, and I adore my fuzzy fellow and we have a very different relationship from the one I had with Toffee. Your feelings are so familiar. It just shows how much we care for our four legged family members.