So upset and annoyed.

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hazeyg

hazeyg

Adult Guinea Pig
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All the excitement of Harry's wives has now been spoilt. My mum came to visit and has given me a really hard time for rescuing these little girlies:0. She says she wont be happy if I pay for any vet bills before giving her money back that I owe her.
I am so upset because I keep a vet credit card for emergencies and pay it off in instalments. I give her everything I can, things have just been tight because of christmas and Harrys vet bills and now Sophie my dogs also ill. I would never have been able to afford to move out and buy my furniture without her but I had to relocate for my job. Without her helping Id never be where I am now but I just wish i wasnt constantly reminded of owing her money every time I open my purse. She probably wouldnt want me to think like this but now I feel really bad for getting the girls because of her.
Plus I'm angry because I'm not the type that wastes money, I never buy myself anything except the odd cupcake or a glass of wine on a Friday night.
I live myself, my animals or my life and there not just guinea pigs to me. She was sitting cuddling my ill dog saying shes bad to you getting those piggies, I thought you'd be enough but your not. grrrr. She even said he seemed perfectly happy to me before you got "those" girls.....really.....you dont even know Harry, hes over the moon.
I understand where shes coming from that I owe her money and how she would feel miffed if I paid for vet bills but I had no choice but to borrow from her as it was my first every salary and I had to take the job, it was the start of my career.
I just cant wait until all the money I owe her is gone and I can do what I like.
I just feel a little denied of my own independence because of her attitude and its dampning my excitment over my new additions :(.
I was telling her some storied from the forum and she said gosh there even more off there rockers than you and your pigs.

I'm just so peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'd off right now. Sorry for moaning I just wanted it off my chest. And at least I can take comfort in the fact that the girlies have a lovely home and Harry is so happy despite my mum and my guilt.
 
oh bless dont be so hard on yourself! Perhaps your Mum is just in a bad mood. If you are paying her the money back, even if it is only a little bit dont worry about it. She is your Mum and us Mums do get bees in our bonnets about things that seem important to us. You have done the right thing by getting the girlies, dont let it spoil your good deed. If you are anything like me i just dont spend money on myself. I havent had my hair cut for 6 months as I begrudge paying the money out. Roll on the summer and then we can do car boots and make extra money and sit in the sun and all be happy. xx
 
some people just dont understand, not trying to put anyone down at all by this
you have done nothing wrong, and should not feel that you have, as long as your happy and your animals are happy its all that matters, i do hope your dog will be ok also
 
virtual hug's, I'm sure she didn't realise how she was making you feel. I'm going to take a guess and say she's not a guinea pig person. :)).

Urm I suggest you at Harry I'm sure he will say it all ;) x
 
Aw, bless your heart for rescuing :)p
Sounds as though mum is just worried about your finances and using your piggies as a reminder you owe her money rather than just ask if you could make some return payments.
I would keep your important vet fund but make an effort to pay her something, no matter how small to keep her from upsetting you - once she sees you are trying, she will understand that you have a good and meaningful heart :)
She's making you feel guilty and can only upset you by using something that you care very deeply for :{
 
oh dear, i agree in you trying to make regular small payments to your mum, some people just are nt as animal minded as others, i think you did the right thing taking the girls, and your mum is probably just worried you have too many animals, try not to take it to heart, buy her a bunch of flowers xx
 
I havent had my hair cut for 6 months
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I last had mine done in July and that was as a Birthday present from my mum for my graduation photo. Before that it had been over a year.
she's not a guinea pig person.
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No she certainly isn't, she will touch Theo but only with one finger and when she saw Harry she said I dont like his red eyes :x. Dont get me wrong she would never see them suffer and when I'm crying about them being ill shes always there for me and she used to take them bits of veggies up when making soup etc but at the end of the day they are just pigs to her.
I guess your right I will make an extra effort to pay her back, I have been too laid back with it recently, I will set up a small payment, thats a good idea.
 
I know exactly where you are coming from - I never spend anything on myself anymore - have just phoned up sky and haggled 25% discount on my t.v. package for the next 12 months which will save £6.50 a month -(so that covers one of Bumbles 2 new wives monthly insurance premium -) my sister cuts my hair (am terrified of hairdressers- would rather go see a dentist ).My dad ruined my birthday the other day when he said what did I get for my birthday and I said two wives for Bumble - he said how many is that now then? I said 5 and he said your house will smell and you will get evicted! Parents are a pain!
 
its mums jobs to worry and say things that can be a little cutting and upsetting but they do say it because they love us. You have done the right thing to not only give harry some pals but to rescue piggies in the process helping provide a home for them. She probably understands deep down but is not quite a piggie person to know that company is what they need as well as food etc.

Mine keeps telling me to have a break from having a dog when my old girly goes and doesnt quite understand that my life revolves around her and the pigs, yes it would be easier without them, but my life would be very empty without them all and I need them for my health (mental and emotional) and cannot face to be without them.
 
Mine keeps telling me to have a break from having a dog when my old girly goes and doesnt quite understand that my life revolves around her and the pigs, yes it would be easier without them, but my life would be very empty without them all and I need them for my health (mental and ) and cannot face to be without them.
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This is exactly how I feel. I spent last year very very ill and my mum got Sophie when I could look after her. Throughout my year of illness including liver failure I cleaned out the guinea pigs, Ok sometimes my mum helped but I always instructed and I still did most of it. Over xmas and New year I had not one single animal in the house and yes there was no hair, or smells but I was so depressed, I know it sounds cliche but i had nothing to come home to or for, I was miserably. I'm so glad this forums around and wish Id found it sooner :))
 
I get the same from my mum all the time!

-"Your just not happy with one are you"
-"Poor cat"
-"Poor dog"
-"What a waste of money"
-"You still owe me"
-"Why don't you save your money and buy some nice new clothes or a night out in town"

etc...etc...

"Well actually mum I don't need new clothes, or nights out on the town because what makes me happy is taking care of these animals!"

The amount of money my mum spends in poundland or on 50p stalls could probably buy a new house!

This forum is like a safe haven to all the people that go through this rubbish from people who don't understand! So thank-you to whoever created it and to all the lovely supportive people on here!

Love from Kym, Dave and our little family of critters :) x
 
Big hugs - I think sometimes people dont understand how hurtful some comments can be. I've had things said to me in the past when I've been really happy about something and suddenly go from feeling great to feeling rubbish and upset.

People think I'm mad - I live alone but with my 2 dogs and 7 piggies - but its my choice and if they dont like it they can butt out :))

Give the piggies a cuddle - you did the right thing getting the girls :)

x
 
Here here......I like that attitude butt out.
I definatly won't be telling her I'm phoning rugby today to put theo on the waiting list. Hopefully though I will be debt free by then :).
What kind of dogs you got candy floss? I've got a wee border terrier pup called Soph, she's 11months old.
 
hazeyg said:
Here here......I like that attitude butt out.
I definatly won't be telling her I'm phoning rugby today to put theo on the waiting list. Hopefully though I will be debt free by then :).
What kind of dogs you got candy floss? I've got a wee border terrier pup called Soph, she's 11months old.
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LOL..... last time my brother was here he moaned about the guinea pigs.... he's never been invited back :))

Awww I love border terriers.... think they are cracking wee dogs :))

I've got a male Brittany called Owain who's almost 14 and a female Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever called Amber who's 12 in a couple of weeks. Owains got big heart problems and developed breathing problems last year so had to go through a big risky operation but he's done amazingly well. Amber had a big tumour a few years back and after 2 operations and chemotherapy has been doing well too. My pets are my life..... but when I think back to how excited I was when I found out about getting Amber .... my mum was not impressed at all..... but I got her anyway :))

x
 
Really sorry that your Mum has put a downer on your new additions - but I am sure those feelings will fade as you enjoy you new piggies. If it was me, I would really encourage you to make in roads into the debt though as debt in families can really fester. Even though I am in my mid 30s, my mum can be quite wierd about me owing her for shopping she might have done for me etc.
Could you make a table of installments to pay back, even if they are small and then tick them off as you pay back? Then you can see an end of it and it is really clear to your Mum that you intend to pay it (in bits!)? Hope you get it sorted:)
 
Big ((hugs)) I'd be delighted if my DD got piggies when she leaves home, sadly she wants a cat & me & cats don't mix lol rolleyes

It's a bit harsh for her to say that about vet's bills, she probably just said it in the heat of the moment when still in shock that you got some more so I wouldn't take it too much to heart.

Setting up regular payments to her & budgeting for vet's bills is a good idea though, & will reassure her you are taking responsibility for your pets too.
 
Awww I love border terriers.... think they are cracking wee dogs
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Oh she is shes just brilliant, so friendly and loving, she is anyones bes friend. Such a wee character, I love how she looks like a big mutt:
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Could you make a table of installments to pay back, even if they are small and then tick them off as you pay back? Then you can see an end of it and it is really clear to your Mum that you intend to pay it (in bits!)? Hope you get it sorted

Setting up regular payments to her & budgeting for vet's bills is a good idea though, & will reassure her you are taking responsibility for your pets too.
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I padi her some money last night and said I will set up a direct debit and her attitude changed and hse said she didnt want me to feel guilt about it . So I'm feeling better, plus i sat for ages watching the Trio interact and Harry popcorning about even when they reject his rumble strutting. Its just so lovel to see him happy.
 
HUGS

Just to console you, my mum isn't any better and I have stopped mostly mentioning piggies (and a large extent of my life) to her. I'm nearly fifty and she is over 70... mallethead Thankfully for me, she's not in this country and not visiting all the time, but she can still have me fuming on occasion!

It is of course much harder when you have financial obligations towards your mum. You can point out to her that you went to a good rescue because that is the best place to get guaranteed healthy animals, so that you are not expecting huge vet bills for the girls anytime soon and that seeing Harry happy is doing wonders for own frame of mind! If your girls should come down with a stress related problem like mites, the rescue will offer to take them back for treatment.
 
hazeyg said:
Here here......I like that attitude butt out.
I definatly won't be telling her I'm phoning rugby today to put theo on the waiting list. Hopefully though I will be debt free by then :).
What kind of dogs you got candy floss? I've got a wee border terrier pup called Soph, she's 11months old.
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SOPHIEdrooldrooldrool Too cute for words.....She is just adoreable and I'm glad I got to meet the little sweetheart.......Whenever I take one of my piggies to the vets, the first thing my mum and dad will ask is 'how much did that cost you'? Soooooo annoying. When Cyrus had to be rushed to the emergency vets following his post op abscess, I got the 'what did that cost' question again. I think that its hard for people to understand the 'duty of care' that pet owners adopt. Cost isnt an issue for me when it comes to piggie care and I would rather go without myself to see them fed and properly cared for. Me and the piggies both love our veggies, so I tend to buy vegies for them that I eat myself. Cyrus's neutering **** ended up costing over £250. With vets bill following his abscess. I now dont discuss vets fees with my mum at all....
 
OH my goodness, well this makes me see how lucky I am with my mum, she knows my piggies mean the world to me and she loves them too always bringing them odds and ends of veggies up. My dad is another story altogether and just doesn't get it at all. I owe my parents money too and to be honest I hate owing them money, luckily for me I have the money coming from my ex buying me out of the house and my parents aren't expecting me to pay them back before that comes through otherwise I would really struggle.

Chin up hun, keep smiling and know you are doing the best for your animals. I suffered depression horrendously just over a year ago and the piggies have changed my life around so I know how much of a difference they can make to your life. Maybe try not to mention costs in front of mum so she can't throw anything back at you.

Hugs to Sophie she's gorgeous and I hope she feels better soon
 
OH my goodness, well this makes me see how lucky I am with my mum, she knows my piggies mean the world to me and she loves them too always bringing them odds and ends of veggies up. My dad is another story altogether and just doesn't get it at all. I owe my parents money too and to be honest I hate owing them money, luckily for me I have the money coming from my ex buying me out of the house and my parents aren't expecting me to pay them back before that comes through otherwise I would really struggle.

Chin up hun, keep smiling and know you are doing the best for your animals. I suffered depression horrendously just over a year ago and the piggies have changed my life around so I know how much of a difference they can make to your life. Maybe try not to mention costs in front of mum so she can't throw anything back at you.

Hugs to Sophie she's gorgeous and I hope she feels better soon
 
I think from now on I'm going to take the attitude of what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I would never just keep a pig alive and spend a fortune, I'm experienced enough to know now when a piggie has given up and I wish she'd trust me.
But hey the sooner I'm out of debt the better. If money grew on trees eh? Then I'd **** just extend the guinea pig cage and hire a poop picker ha ha.
 
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