Spring(destruction) clean by H&H

AidaB

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Dear fellow Guinea Pigs,
Be warned of the hoomans saying they are spring cleaning. Mummy slave decided to “spring clean” our home.
We were a lovely afternoon nap at home, when she came over and said would you like to play?…. well yes straight in the snuggly bags we climbed, and started to explore.
Thats when the noises began, clanking and banging. We watched in horror as our home was dismantled….. suddenly it was all in bits before us. Mummy slave had destroyed our home, then she banged the pellet tin… oh pellet time, yum. No apparently not, it was an accident. Not impressed we were given some posh hay as a distraction, it didnt work we carried on wheeeeking, to be told we had to wait, we are still waiting 2 hrs later.
Then Mummy slave found our science experiment, we have been experimenting with old poos. Well she was not happy 6 fossilised poos she said! Well that was 6 experimental poos we will have to hide again!
Our home is still in bits, and she has gone off to cook her dinner. Wonder why she cant just open the fridge and have lettuce?!
So please beware of hoomans saying they are spring cleaning.

We hope you have all had a better afternoon than we have.
We gotta go, Pellets have finally arrived….. byyeeeeee
Squeeks and wheeks from Hector and Hamish.💩
 
Dear fellow Guinea Pigs,
Be warned of the hoomans saying they are spring cleaning. Mummy slave decided to “spring clean” our home.
We were a lovely afternoon nap at home, when she came over and said would you like to play?…. well yes straight in the snuggly bags we climbed, and started to explore.
Thats when the noises began, clanking and banging. We watched in horror as our home was dismantled….. suddenly it was all in bits before us. Mummy slave had destroyed our home, then she banged the pellet tin… oh pellet time, yum. No apparently not, it was an accident. Not impressed we were given some posh hay as a distraction, it didnt work we carried on wheeeeking, to be told we had to wait, we are still waiting 2 hrs later.
Then Mummy slave found our science experiment, we have been experimenting with old poos. Well she was not happy 6 fossilised poos she said! Well that was 6 experimental poos we will have to hide again!
Our home is still in bits, and she has gone off to cook her dinner. Wonder why she cant just open the fridge and have lettuce?!
So please beware of hoomans saying they are spring cleaning.

We hope you have all had a better afternoon than we have.
We gotta go, Pellets have finally arrived….. byyeeeeee
Squeeks and wheeks from Hector and Hamish.💩
Love this, probably what every piggie feels when they get escorted out of their home and into a playpen whilst home is being cleaned, had to get my three girls out when I got home as Maisie must be in season and humping about the place annoying the other two, so cuddle sack came out, large space to escape hurray
 
Dear Hector and Hamish

What you have had to endure today is appalling! And not to be given pellets while your home is being destroyed? What has been going on at your house? The choice between pellets and hay is a difficult one I admit, but when you have your taste buds all ready for pellets and hay arrives instead only pellets will satisfy the craving. I just cannot believe your Slave destroyed your very interesting Science Experiment. Those fossilised poops were clearly hidden for a reason why didn't she realise this and leave them alone? And to express displeasure at finding them too!

In order to make sure that your Slave never destroys your home again you need to refuse to come out of it whenever she mentions the dreaded words "spring clean". She clearly tricked you into going in your snuggly bags so don't go in them next time she asks if you want to go play. Run around and keep changing direction so that every time she has her hands around you she can't hold on to you properly. When you decide that she can hold you wheak as loudly as possible and do a massive wee on her and poop loads too and she will be very impressed by this.

Yours horrified how any Slave could treat piggies like this

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward
 
Dear Hector and Hamish,

Our human is a bit of an idiot, but even he understands that the best distraction is a bowl full of pellets. Of course, he takes it away again as soon as we no longer need distracting, which is very rude of him and absolutely has to stop, but he's got the first bit right at least. Imagine thinking hay is a good substitute for pellets!

(human interjection here - don't listen to these two, they've both fallen for the hay trick numerous times).

Yours in solidarity,
Bann and Camowen.
 
Dear Hector and Hamish

What you have had to endure today is appalling! And not to be given pellets while your home is being destroyed? What has been going on at your house? The choice between pellets and hay is a difficult one I admit, but when you have your taste buds all ready for pellets and hay arrives instead only pellets will satisfy the craving. I just cannot believe your Slave destroyed your very interesting Science Experiment. Those fossilised poops were clearly hidden for a reason why didn't she realise this and leave them alone? And to express displeasure at finding them too!

In order to make sure that your Slave never destroys your home again you need to refuse to come out of it whenever she mentions the dreaded words "spring clean". She clearly tricked you into going in your snuggly bags so don't go in them next time she asks if you want to go play. Run around and keep changing direction so that every time she has her hands around you she can't hold on to you properly. When you decide that she can hold you wheak as loudly as possible and do a massive wee on her and poop loads too and she will be very impressed by this.

Yours horrified how any Slave could treat piggies like this

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward
Dear The One and Only Thea,
Thank you do much for the advice in your letter. Luckily we went home again late last night, to discover some lovely fresh hay, and cuddly tunnels. We will be very careful if we hear Mummy slave mention she is spring cleaning again.
We are still annoyed at the pellet/hay swap, and believe if the pellet tin is rattled its pellet time, nothing else should be offered!
(Mummy slave has just pointed out that if she gets frozen peas out of the freezer, we also think it’s pellet time!)
Happy Weekend,
Squeeks Hector & Hamish 💩
 
Dear Hector and Hamish,

Our human is a bit of an idiot, but even he understands that the best distraction is a bowl full of pellets. Of course, he takes it away again as soon as we no longer need distracting, which is very rude of him and absolutely has to stop, but he's got the first bit right at least. Imagine thinking hay is a good substitute for pellets!

(human interjection here - don't listen to these two, they've both fallen for the hay trick numerous times).

Yours in solidarity,
Bann and Camowen.
Dear Bann and Canowen,
Thank you for your support. Good luck with the being allowed to keep your pellets longer. We like the idea of a bowl for pellets. We have to play hunt the pellet, the slaves scatter them all over. Sometimes its fun, sometimes its just plain irritating!
Squeeks Hector and Hamish.💩
 
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