Still devastated

H

Harrisandobis mum

Junior Guinea Pig
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Just wanted to say I am still absolutely heartbroken at losing my boys.
Miss them so so much. 💔💔.
Obi had to be put to sleep after another stone, then after an agonising decision to place Harris in a sanctuary to become a forever resident he passed away. Sanctuary promised me he would be neutered the week after we took him and he could go in with the girls...I was so happy for him, he would get his happy ending i thought. 1 month later I discovered he was still alone in a hutch with no toys waiting to be neutered...then a WhatsApp message to say he had passed away suddenly. This was November and I am still struggling to come to terms with it. 😭
 

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Harrisandobis mum said:
Just wanted to say I am still absolutely heartbroken at losing my boys.
Miss them so so much. 💔💔.
Obi had to be put to sleep after another stone, then after an agonising decision to place Harris in a sanctuary to become a forever resident he passed away. Sanctuary promised me he would be neutered the week after we took him and he could go in with the girls...I was so happy for him, he would get his happy ending i thought. 1 month later I discovered he was still alone in a hutch with no toys waiting to be neutered...then a WhatsApp message to say he had passed away suddenly. This was November and I am still struggling to come to terms with it. 😭
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BIG HUGS

Please seek trained support to help you with your traumatic experience and your pet bereavement issues.

Pet bereavement (the same as human bereavement) can happen to anybody but they are both a recognised mental health condition when you are unable to find a way of living with your loss and the emotional fallout in the immediate or in the longer term.

The Blue Cross offers trained free of charge support on several platforms for UK residents, so you can choose the format that you feel most comfortable with. As you are still struggling so badly, your support needs do unfortuantely exceed what we can provide on this forum; seeing that we are all just piggy owners and none of us has had specific training in this respect.
All of the forum members that have accessed the Blue Cross (often with some major trepidation and a lot of reluctance) have come back reporting that it has really helped them. Talking about your trauma is the best thing you can you for yourself; especially with somebody who is trained to listen and can pick up on your particular issues in a constructive and healing way. Please don't hide away your pain and continue to bleed in your soul with a wound that is not healing. Get the help that is out there for you freely accessible.
I really wish I'd had access back when I was stuck with not being able to get over the death of my still most special piggy ever 15 years ago - I would have been able to come out of it much more quickly!
Here is the link: Pet bereavement and pet loss

It is nothing you have done wrong; just cosmic bad luck and restricted vet access due to the pandemic. Coming to terms with that is not easy and won't be quick - but it is a lot harder without any trained support.

Please keep in mind that Harris would have sadly likely died either at your home if you had kept him on, on the operating table or while still in the safety wait after his neutering op anyway. A sudden death like that is usually due to something hitting right out of the blue and there is nothing anybody can do to prevent it. Having lost several piggies of mine that way over the years, I can reassure you that it is in no way due to negligence. Having it happening at your home would have been quite as traumatic for you - or perhaps even more so. :(
 
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((HUGS))... I'm so sorry for your losses.
 
I’m so sorry for your losses :( (((hugs))) All I can say is that the hurt never goes away but the pain does get easier within time. Take good care of yourself as you grieve x
 
Please be kind to yourself, and remember that there is no time scale for grief.
I am sorry for your losses.
 
Wiebke said:
BIG HUGS

Please seek trained support to help you with your traumatic experience and your pet bereavement issues.

Pet bereavement (the same as human bereavement) can happen to anybody but they are both a recognised mental health condition when you are unable to find a way of living with your loss and the emotional fallout in the immediate or in the longer term.

The Blue Cross offers trained free of charge support on several platforms for UK residents, so you can choose the format that you feel most comfortable with. As you are still struggling so badly, your support needs do unfortuantely exceed what we can provide on this forum; seeing that we are all just piggy owners and none of us has had specific training in this respect.
All of the forum members that have accessed the Blue Cross (often with some major trepidation and a lot of reluctance) have come back reporting that it has really helped them. Talking about your trauma is the best thing you can you for yourself; especially with somebody who is trained to listen and can pick up on your particular issues in a constructive and healing way. Please don't hide away your pain and continue to bleed in your soul with a wound that is not healing. Get the help that is out there for you freely accessible.
I really wish I'd had access back when I was stuck with not being able to get over the death of my still most special piggy ever 15 years ago - I would have been able to come out of it much more quickly!
Here is the link: Pet bereavement and pet loss

It is nothing you have done wrong; just cosmic bad luck and restricted vet access due to the pandemic. Coming to terms with that is not easy and won't be quick - but it is a lot harder without any trained support.

Please keep in mind that Harris would have sadly likely died either at your home if you had kept him on, on the operating table or while still in the safety wait after his neutering op anyway. A sudden death like that is usually due to something hitting right out of the blue and there is nothing anybody can do to prevent it. Having lost several piggies of mine that way over the years, I can reassure you that it is in no way due to negligence. Having it happening at your home would have been quite as traumatic for you. :(
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Thank you xx
 
I’m so sorry. Please try and remember all of the happy times you had with Obi and Harris. Take care. ❤️
 
weepweeps said:
I’m so sorry. Please try and remember all of the happy times you had with Obi and Harris. Take care. ❤️
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Thank you xx
Harrisandobis mum said:
Thank you xx
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I just feel like let little Harris down. No toy's and exercise. He was used to lots of toy's and cuddles and room to run around. So heartbroken. I never would have left him there if I thought oft one second he would be all alone with no toy's or companionship for a month. 💔 😞 xx
 
I do understand why you would feel that way. But he was warm, fed and had attention. Maybe an illness was already festering. His life was more than his last month. You gave him a wonderful life. We can only make decisions based on the information we have available at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Try to think of the good times. ❤️
 
weepweeps said:
I do understand why you would feel that way. But he was warm, fed and had attention. Maybe an illness was already festering. His life was more than his last month. You gave him a wonderful life. We can only make decisions based on the information we have available at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Try to think of the good times. ❤️
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Thank you xx
 
I am really sorry you must be angry with them for not doing what they promised. Use your anger and contact who ever is in charge to ask whatever questions are haunting you. It won't bring him back but might help other pigs in the future and educate them on providing proper care. You didn't let little Harris down you had no way of knowing so none of this is your fault.
 
Holding you in my heart.
@Wiebke’s suggestion to contact the Blue Cross is worth considering.
Talking through your feelings with someone who understands.

One idea for dealing with the natural feelings of guilt is to say to yourself every time you feel the twinges of guilt ‘ It wasn’t my fault. I forgive myself’

At some point you will realise that you have done that. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
 
Rubysue said:
I am really sorry you must be angry with them for not doing what they promised. Use your anger and contact who ever is in charge to ask whatever questions are haunting you. It won't bring him back but might help other pigs in the future and educate them on providing proper care. You didn't let little Harris down you had no way of knowing so none of this is your fault.
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Thank you. Yes, I feel they let Harris down. I feel he died of a broken heart and its almost too much to bear 😪 xx
 
Merab's Slave said:
Holding you in my heart.
@Wiebke’s suggestion to contact the Blue Cross is worth considering.
Talking through your feelings with someone who understands.

One idea for dealing with the natural feelings of guilt is to say to yourself every time you feel the twinges of guilt ‘ It wasn’t my fault. I forgive myself’

At some point you will realise that you have done that. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I feel so lost without them. I doted on them and they showed me unconditional love. I did calk bluecross.
I have found the support on this forum the most helpful. Folks that love and some that have lost piggies and know rhe absolute joy they bring
My home feels sad and empty without my fur babies. I cry every day 😢 xx
 
Harrisandobis mum said:
Thank you. I feel so lost without them. I doted on them and they showed me unconditional love. I did calk bluecross.
I have found the support on this forum the most helpful. Folks that love and some that have lost piggies and know rhe absolute joy they bring
My home feels sad and empty without my fur babies. I cry every day 😢 xx
Click to expand...
Please call or email the Blue Cross again or use one of the other online platforms. Just one chat won't be enough.
 
Merab's Slave said:
Holding you in my heart.
@Wiebke’s suggestion to contact the Blue Cross is worth considering.
Talking through your feelings with someone who understands.

One idea for dealing with the natural feelings of guilt is to say to yourself every time you feel the twinges of guilt ‘ It wasn’t my fault. I forgive myself’

At some point you will realise that you have done that. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
Click to expand...
Thank you xx
 
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