Thank you Chibi

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
Hi this is my first post here and I am literally in tears writing this at work. As a biologically-born male who wishes to exude a calm, relaxed and emotionally-controlled demeanor, I find this extremely difficult to do right now. Holding back the tears brings more tears...and it is because I've recently lost my best friend, companion, and "baby" cavy named Chibi. He died on November 8th, 2020. I've read a few posts here and decided to join because what better way to honor him than to further memorialize this awesome, loving, emotionally-supportive - and often talkative - guinea pig. That and I need some way to express how I am feeling without "weirding" out my family, human-friends and coworkers.

What a ride it was with this little guy. He was quite a peculiar cavy as well. When I bought him, he was the tiniest guinea pig at a big-box store - alone in a corner, frozen in place while the other piggies were doing their normal piggy things. He immediately caught my attention because of how "out-of-place" he was. Thinking back, he might have been a newly introduced member to that temporary housing unit. I bought him with the original intent to have a semi-pet-ownership experience for my girlfriend, who was never allowed to own any pets growing up, who still doesn't own any pets of her own to this day. Of course, she's a person who does have a sense of wonder and love for animals, I felt at the time I could purchase a "simple" pet to keep at my place for us to enjoy when she's over. Never did I think that a "simple" (notice quotations) guinea pig would hold such a huge place in my life, mind and heart and would cause me so much emotional distress after his death. I have owned many pets growing up...but for some reason, this one is hands-down the most difficult to "get over". That alone is a testament to this amazing little guy and tells me that he was loved, whole-heartedly.

Chibi was my first guinea pig. I will admit...and I know everyone will hate me for it, I am sorry, but I need to let it out. He was a sole purchase, single guinea pig. Chibi, like me, was a one-man (or cavy) pack. I went in blind - didn't do any research about cavies...very reckless and irresponsible of a human when owning a new pet. I wanted to purchase a 2nd guinea pig for him, but was strongly encouraged against it...in previous attempts at introducing other cavies to Chibi, Chibi did not respond well (to say the least). He was a scrappy little bugger, he was, let's just say. Because of failed attempts at socializing Chibi with other guinea pigs, we made the final decision to care for a lone cavy, but as compensation, he would need loads of time from us, attention and care. That was the caveat, and for the most part, I can honestly say that it went pretty well. He seemed OK for being a lone piggy, yes, I know I will summon some negative feelings for those who love piggies too and have more experience with them, but honestly, he was OK.

Chibi was my companion during gaming sessions, watching TV, doing chores around the apartment, and pretty much everything else I did at home. The pitter-patter of his footsteps ring loudly in my mind as I recall cooking dinner. My girlfriend and I aren't living together, so having this furry roommate made late nights and long days quite relaxing and pleasurable. He was always around. He slept beside my bed. Memories of him always climbing the sides of his cage to get my attention, telling me to take him out for no-cage-time, or give him some carrot, his favorite treat. I can see him scampering towards me when his name is called...that little trot mixed in with little guinea pig noises and "chuts" will be stained in my mind forever. He loved love. And this love he shared with me for 5 years is a love that I know I will not ever have again, even if I do decide to buy guinea pigS in the future (notice capital 'S'...it will be more than 1 next time), but that won't be for a while. The pain is too much right now to think about going through this again.

Memories of Chibi are replaying in my mind. He's pulling my heartstrings from the grave. Chibi was full of life, full of personality and was quite the blabber-mouth to those he was acquainted with...this boy loved to talk! And by talk, I mean...being my alarm clock with no snooze button, a breakfast, lunchtime, dinner and many snack times reminder-er, even a pseudo-psychiatrist for me. It was during a time in my life where I was, let's just say, feeling very alone. My circle included my girlfriend, my immediate family and Chibi. Growing up, I always had a pretty big group of friends, so this period of transition in my life was "different". Looking back, however, this wasn't so bad at all...all my needs are met by this very small and tight-knit group of loved ones, with Chibi being the one who I spent some of the most time with. He was my lap-buddy. Everyday companion. My duty to care for. My best friend. Now, though, out of tears of regret, shoulda-coulda-woulda's, loving memories and sad flashbacks to his last few days, it has causes a deep wound in my heart to realize that one (huge) piece of that puzzle is lost.

He fell ill and rapidly declined until one day, about 2 days ago, we spent our final night together. It pains me so much...I didn't bring him to a vet earlier, I should've noticed the signs more. I'm so deeply hurt right now, it's like a betrayed my best friend. The heaviness in my heart hasn't left since I found him without life. That last night together...I think about him climbing the sides of his cage, I know he isn't feeling well, but wants to be picked up. Such a tough and loving piggy. Maybe he was telling me something, a last goodbye, perhaps? Did he know he was going away for good? I carried him for the last time and he felt very, very light, like he hadn't eaten for the entire day. His water bottle was the same level as it was that morning when I left for work. I'm pretty sure he didn't eat anything that day, unfortunately, no one was able to keep him company during the day. I gave him Chibi kisses (nose to nose), kisses on the head, and hugs. I called a vet - this was at about 1:00 AM - and they opened at 7:00 AM for walk-in emergencies. I told him, before going to sleep, "We're going to the vet a little later, goodnight Chibi" and dozed off. When I woke up, literally the immediate moment my body and mind awoke, the very first thought in my mind was "CHIBI!"...I sprung up from bed, looked down on the floor where Chibi sleeps, and there he was...not in his igloo, but in the same exact spot he always is when I wake up...that certain spot on the foot of his cage. He was dead. Breathless. Cold. Still beautiful as the cute, good-looking guinea pig is, but gone from this plain of existence. I cried for the first time in a long time, I didn't even cry this much when my dog passed away, why am I so distraught right now? I kept thinking that, but thoughts of what his final moments must've been like run through my mind. Was he climbing the sides of his cage during his last moments, in an attempt to get my attention while I was asleep? Was he trying to tell me to take him to the vet now? Was he trying to say his final goodbye? I will never know. He's buried in my mother's garden and I'm planning to get some sort of fruit bearing plant to place over his grave.

I've been carrying this burden deep within me since his passing. Sorry if this is a very long post, maybe this may serve as a sort-of dairy about him. He will always be loved. I'm sorry I didn't take him to see a vet sooner, sorry that I am an ignorant owner who didn't notice the signs earlier. I'm sorry you had to die the way you did. The lessons of love, patience, kinship and what NOT to do with guinea pigs are lessons I will carry until my time comes to leave this plain of existence. He was a tough little guy. A noisy little guy. A scrappy little guy. A spoiled little guy. A loving little guy. I will love you forever little guy. Thank you for your years of life we were able to share together. Rest in love, my bestie. You will forever be missed.

20994236_1760710667290021_8923310957102597619_n.jpgChibs.jpg
 

Merab's Slave

Forum Buddy
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
27,350
Reaction score
35,206
Points
2,375
Location
Wirral, UK
Welcome to the forum.
I’m glad you found us and have come here to pay tribute to Chibbi.
He was a handsome boy.
So sorry for your loss.
Grief takes time so be gentle with yourself and allow yourself that time to grieve.

We do understand what a huge hole in the heart a piggy leaves so we are here to support you
 

Swissgreys

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
8,773
Reaction score
20,114
Points
1,965
Location
Zürich, Switzerland
Thank you for sharing your story about your beautiful and very special Chibi with us.
Be kind to yourself as you grieve, and you were clearly a devoted and loving owner who did everything possible for Chibi.
He knew he was loved.
 

Free Ranger

Forum Donator 2021/22
Joined
Sep 20, 2020
Messages
1,449
Reaction score
1,808
Points
745
Location
South Oxon UK
The people here truly understand what it is like to lose a friend like Chibi and many of us have been through the same rollercoaster of loss and grief. Your words have immortalised how much he meant to you and you must also have meant everything to him. I don't think Guinea-pigs ponder too deeply about choices made or not made, he was too busy enjoying his long, full life and at his end he was in the home he knew and felt comfortable in. The place you found him in his cage was not huddled in his sleeping place but in the position you met together every day in life. Perhaps he had come to say goodbye. He knew he was loved and you were his cage-mate. My deepest sympathies 💕
 

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
@Merab's Slave @Swissgreys @Free Ranger
Thank you all so, so much for your kind words of warmth, encouragement and comfort. I am in tears again as I write this to you, my heart feels so much gratitude and love for Chibi, and gratitude for you all for taking the time to write your responses..

I will forever love Chib-chib. Thank you all so much, I will do my best to be gentle on on myself and take time each day to remember and honor Chibbers in the best way he can be - remembering the (many) good times we've shared together. Yes, @Free Ranger, he laid rest in the exact same spot we greeted each other every morning...cage-mate for life <3

The hole in my heart may never be completely filled. But with time, wounds heal. Perhaps Chibi's death is not in vain, whenever I do own other piggies later in life, I can take everything he taught me about love, care, compassion and a cause greater than myself. Maybe his life may be well served as a pathway for more guinea pigs to receive the love and care they deserve. Whenever I can recover from this loss. This really helps. Thank you all so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to me.
 

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
Also, so happy a forum like this exists. So many testimonials, advice, experiences, and lots of pictures of awesome guinea pigs. Thank you to all the mods, staff and everyone else helping to keep this forum! Thank you.
 

Little Ones

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Sep 20, 2015
Messages
1,630
Reaction score
2,534
Points
905
Location
Barnsley, UK
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I also lost one of mine recently. He was ill but died of a different, freak illness. I blamed myself really badly for a day or two. I couldn’t stop crying. But in the end, I learned that we do our best at the time. The main thing is we learn and learn and never stop learning. There wasn’t anything I could do to save him, and the thing that killed him is almost always fatal, but I can still find myself thinking over possibilities. If I’d done this, or that, or sooner, or noticed earlier. A mentality like that will kill you.
You did your best for him and you never, for a second, wanted to cause him harm. Don’t let that thought haunt you. Guinea pigs don’t have a concept of time the way that we do. They do not measure their life in numbers of days but in happiness and in love. They know when they’ve got it good, and I think Chibi knew how good he had it :)
 

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I also lost one of mine recently. He was ill but died of a different, freak illness. I blamed myself really badly for a day or two. I couldn’t stop crying. But in the end, I learned that we do our best at the time. The main thing is we learn and learn and never stop learning. There wasn’t anything I could do to save him, and the thing that killed him is almost always fatal, but I can still find myself thinking over possibilities. If I’d done this, or that, or sooner, or noticed earlier. A mentality like that will kill you.
You did your best for him and you never, for a second, wanted to cause him harm. Don’t let that thought haunt you. Guinea pigs don’t have a concept of time the way that we do. They do not measure their life in numbers of days but in happiness and in love. They know when they’ve got it good, and I think Chibi knew how good he had it :)
It's been just over a week since he passed and I still find my heart aching from time to time. I miss "Little Boy" a lot...

But with time, I find that I think less about the should've, could've, would've's and more about just how amazing this little guy was. Tears of sadness are turning into tears of contentment as I am realizing that guinea pigs mostly care about how happy and loved they are. Thank you for your reassurance.

It brings a bittersweet smile and heart-squeezing when I think about our last night together...him trying to climb up his cage like he always does when he wants to be picked up...and finding him at final rest the next morning, in the same spot we greeted each other every morning. He found the strength to walk to that spot...and it makes me feel a bag of mixed emotions, but mostly of, well...love. And that feeling of love never goes away.

I loved this little guy so much, and I'm sure you loved your little one very much too. My condolences for your loss as well, your words really uplift me and I'm sure Chibi and your little one appreciate you too :') We'll forever love them. And they'll forever love us...they never really leave our side, the love of a guinea pig is unlike any love I've ever felt before. Your little one loved you very much, as I'm sure they all do, all of your little ones :)

I'll be finishing Chibi's memorial garden hopefully soon. When I do, I'll post it here :) thank you
 

Merab's Slave

Forum Buddy
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
27,350
Reaction score
35,206
Points
2,375
Location
Wirral, UK
You are going through a perfectly normal grieving process.
It’s not something that can be rushed.
Chibbi will always have a special place in your heart
 

Little Ones

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Sep 20, 2015
Messages
1,630
Reaction score
2,534
Points
905
Location
Barnsley, UK
It's been just over a week since he passed and I still find my heart aching from time to time. I miss "Little Boy" a lot...

But with time, I find that I think less about the should've, could've, would've's and more about just how amazing this little guy was. Tears of sadness are turning into tears of contentment as I am realizing that guinea pigs mostly care about how happy and loved they are. Thank you for your reassurance.

It brings a bittersweet smile and heart-squeezing when I think about our last night together...him trying to climb up his cage like he always does when he wants to be picked up...and finding him at final rest the next morning, in the same spot we greeted each other every morning. He found the strength to walk to that spot...and it makes me feel a bag of mixed emotions, but mostly of, well...love. And that feeling of love never goes away.

I loved this little guy so much, and I'm sure you loved your little one very much too. My condolences for your loss as well, your words really uplift me and I'm sure Chibi and your little one appreciate you too :') We'll forever love them. And they'll forever love us...they never really leave our side, the love of a guinea pig is unlike any love I've ever felt before. Your little one loved you very much, as I'm sure they all do, all of your little ones :)

I'll be finishing Chibi's memorial garden hopefully soon. When I do, I'll post it here :) thank you
Oh, bless both of you. He seems like he was a sweet little piggy and you were a very good owner to him.
I never thought guinea pigs could mean as much as they do to me! They’re advertised as a child’s pet, small and unimportant, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. They have such big personalities, it’s just such a shame that their body doesn’t match up. They are such fragile, little creatures but absolutely lovely in every way
 

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
Oh, bless both of you. He seems like he was a sweet little piggy and you were a very good owner to him.
I never thought guinea pigs could mean as much as they do to me! They’re advertised as a child’s pet, small and unimportant, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. They have such big personalities, it’s just such a shame that their body doesn’t match up. They are such fragile, little creatures but absolutely lovely in every way
Most definitely. Never would have thought such a small creature could have a spot in my life so big too. It's been a few weeks since his passing and I still find myself hurting, but it is getting easier as I am realizing that, just maybe, I made him happy too :,) thank you for your comment
 

ChibbiChan

New Born Pup
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
8
Reaction score
12
Points
60
Location
Honolulu, Hawaii
Thank you...this forum has helped a lot. Kindness, compassion, wisdom and empathy shown here really helped :') much thanks to you and everyone here for your care, it really means a lot
 

Sweet Potato

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Messages
1,862
Reaction score
5,245
Points
1,355
Location
Cheshire, England
What a beautiful tribute he sounds like a lovely piggie that lived a great life and was well loved and cared for.
 

Bill & Ted

Forum Buddy
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
16,928
Reaction score
29,837
Points
2,125
Location
Cornwall
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your special boy, he was a handsome little chap. I fully understand the huge hole that been left in your heart, some little pets are just that bit “extra special“. Take time to grieve and treasure your memories x
Sleep tight little Chibi 🌈
 

sport_billy

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2009
Messages
52,978
Reaction score
37,078
Points
3,350
Location
Wolverhampton
Massive hugs to you at this really sad time. I am so very sorry for your loss. X x

Sleep well little one

RIP Chibi

x x
 
Top