The Coffee Morning by Ruby

Swissgreys

Swissgreys

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Today was going to be a very good day - I heard the big slave mention that she had a friend coming over for coffee.
Human slaves do funny things called ‘coffee mornings’ where they all mingle together for a while, and then don’t get together again for ages - I really don’t understand their bonding process at all.
Where do the other herd members go once the coffee part is finished?
And isn’t it stressful for them to have to keep meeting and then separating again, just when they all seem to be getting on and no one is nipping each other?
Humans are a very strange species.

Anyway we don’t seem to have done the strange coffee bonding ritual in ages in our house - I am not sure why - so I was very excited.
The good thing about strangers coming here is that if I wheek a lot they always realise I am starving, and tell the big slave I should have treats.
The big slave is always boring and says I am fine, but she usually gives me treats eventually because the visitors can clearly see I need them (and I thunder up and down the cage and wheek to make the big slave look neglectful and mean).

So as soon as I heard the big slave and her friend coming up the stairs I launched into my best ‘cute but starving’ act.
It was a wonderful performance, and the big slave and friend came straight over to my cage.
I liked the friend immediately, as she said what a lovely and loud guinea pig I was.
She then went on to say she missed having guinea pigs, and loved the way we always wheeked when someone came into the room.
She spotted the fresh grass that I had tried to hide at the back of my hay tray, and then went off to do the coffee bonding with the big slave.
I couldn’t believe it! She did not fall for my act at all.

Apparently when she had guinea pigs they were always wheeking and pretending to be starving, and she couldn’t see that my case was totally different.
Needless to say I have gone off the friend quite a bit - the big slave clearly has very poor taste when it comes to choosing friends, and it would serve her right if her friend tried to nip her.

It has been a very difficult day fellow forum piggies.
A difficult day indeed.

Love Ruby

IMG_7855.webp
 
Oh Ruby, the starvation you’re subjected to should go down in the books! But did you not try and nip the slave’s friend? Did she not offer up a tasty fingertip? That’s really bad, she obviously doesn’t know piggy etiquette 🙄
 
Oh Ruby, I think you need a new tactic to get this human to properly appreciate you. Me and Jenny are finding that if we hide in our tunnel in the morning our human gets very anxious and tempts us out with treats. How we laugh. “Tempt us”! 😂😂😂 She falls for it every time. It works best if you stay “asleep” for a few beats after the tunnel moves. That will make her remember how special you are.

Don’t settle for this Ruby, these humans soon get into bad habits, don’t make a rod for your own back.

Keep strong,

Timmy
 
What an awful experience Ruby, so sorry you had to go through that.
My slave has the audacity to walk past our cage without giving us a treat! And then she laughs at me when I wheek desperately! How rude!
At veggie time, I always make sure to climb the cage bars, wheek very loudly to get her attention and then almost fall over to get the first piece. Then, somehow, Oscar gets the first piece?! He wasn't even climbing the cage!
Anyway, I hope your slave serves you better in the future.
Love, Daisy
 
Dear Ruby

We hope you are having a better morning. Our rude slave got in from shopping today and spent AGES putting things into cupboards. Even the big slave who NEVER feeds us said we both looked starving. We got brekkie in the end. But it’s just not good enough.

Love Percy and Pepper ❤️
 
Aw Ruby, we completely understand where you are coming from. Our slave had her parents round for coffee the other day and although we were wheeking at the top of our lungs, not one treat was offered as our slave said we had just had our breakfast! We think we should all get together and start a petition that when slaves have coffee, we get treats...

Lot's of love Edward, Elizabeth, Ella and Esme xx
 
We like it when Son No 1 Slave comes over (which isn't often enough in our opinion). He always gives us snacks as he knows we are never fed. Mummy Slave says not to but he ignores her🤭. Son No 1 Slave says we are too cute to ignore and that Mummy Slave just has to look at our cute little faces!

Lots of love Betsy, Patsy and Meg.

Betsy, Patsy, Meg where_s food 1.webp
 
Dear Ruby, we share your pain.

Our humans had “house guests” at the weekend. There was much cleaning and tidying before they arrived and all our best scented fleece was removed and replaced with stuff we’ve had to scent ourselves.

We also tried the “feed us, we are starving” routine. But unbeknown to us the Big Slave had told one of the guests (who looked just like her) that we could only have 2 blueberries each. And so that’s what we got. Seriously! We decided Big Slave’s double should be rewarded. So she got a tasty nip as I “mistook” her hand for a blueberry. That will teach her!

The other house guest seemed nice enough. But after the fuss the Big Slave’s double made, she decided not to feed us at all.

Things are now back to normal again. We have fully scented our corner tunnel and it’s sooo much better now.

Love Evie x
 
Dear Ruby, we feel your pain.
When our slaves had another human called Mother in Law to stay she didn’t come and talk to us, she didn’t give us extra treats at all.
Even though Phoebe put on her very best ‘ poor little me, I’m suffering’ look when having her eye drops in the Mother in Law didn’t say she should have extra treats.
Ignoring us is not good enough.

Love from Priscilla, Phoebe and Micah
 
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