The Stages Of Guinea Pig Ownership By Eddi

Swissgreys

Swissgreys

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I have noticed there are a lot of new arrivals on the Forum lately, so I thought it was only fair for me to let all the unsuspecting guinea pigs know what awaits you.

I now refer to this as the 'Ownership Stages'.
In our house it looked like this.

Stage 1 - newly arrived guinea pigs.
Owner: Oh Eddi, you are so sweet and wonderful, and we are all so happy you came to live with us.
I promise to always take good care of you and feed you blueberries and coriander every day.
All of your houses will be wooden.
And organic.
IMG_5879.webp
In fact I am going to plant a tree myself and harvest the wood and hand carve the most amazing house for you.
The only things that won't be wooden will be entirely hand made by me in the softest fabrics.
Also organic of course.
IMG_0351.webp


Stage 2 - 2 years later.
Owner: Oh Eddi, could you please stop standing at the bars and wheeking.
I've had a hectic morning, and the local shop was totally out of coriander.
And don't even get me started on the price of blueberries right now.
I didn't have time to go to another shop for coriander, but I did pop into the bakery and picked up this lovely paper bag for you.
Don't forget to share it with Oreo.
Image-1-1.webp

No prizes for guessing what stage we are currently in...

Love Eddi xx
 
Oh no, Eddi, it’s terrible! The same thing is happening to my sister and I at our home! We’re retaliating by wheeking and sqeaking, eating, weeing and pooping more than ever! But I don’t think the dim slaves are getting the message - “Spoil us even more!” :nod:
 
VickiA said:
Oh Eddi. I am horrified to see how standards have slipped in your house. Can you put your slaves up for re-homing?
Click to expand...
Well I have considered it, but I am one of those responsible guinea pigs who believe that slaves (no matter how difficult) are for life.
So I am trying my best to rehabilitate them. :nod:
 
Swissgreys said:
Well I have considered it, but I am one of those responsible guinea pigs who believe that slaves (no matter how difficult) are for life.
So I am trying my best to rehabilitate them. :nod:
Click to expand...

Oh Eddi, I am even more in love with you than before. You understand that no animal or slave is beyond redemption. I salute you for that. But it sounds like you have your work cut out with this lot. Good luck my friend.
 
VickiA said:
Oh Eddi, I am even more in love with you than before. You understand that no animal or slave is beyond redemption. I salute you for that. But it sounds like you have your work cut out with this lot. Good luck my friend.
Click to expand...

Although in fairness the paper bag was quite comfortable...
Image-4.webp
We quite often get paper bags from this special shop called 'bakery', but the bag are always empty.
I wonder what it could mean?
 
Awwww look at him in that last photo :drool:

Ours girls understand Eddi they only had two different types of hay last week as we forgot to replenish the orchard grass supply.... hence grumpy piggies.
 
Betsy, Velvet, Christian, Dennis and Meg all say "as long as you and we get blueberries does it matter?" When your slave refuses to buy them because of the cost they completely understand the need to maybe change slaves. But they say as you do a slave is for life.
 
Oh Eddie, you gorgeous boy.
First of all you might gain a few points/ treats/ better lifestyle if you were to share the paper bag with Oreo. I know said paper bag is on small side but you might both fit in?
Failing that, it will please your slaves if you & Oreo chew up paper bag, eat some of it, spit some of it out, poop & wee all over it too.
See which strategy works best :hmm:
Do let us know x
 
Jasmine and Pickle are at stage 1 at the moment. So far, they haven't had to deploy any squeaking to get food, although Jasmine is often confused as to why her slave occasionally kisses her nose through the bars rather than continue to feed her leaves.
 
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