Things Only Piggy Owners Can Relate To...

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Never having a whole apple to yourself unless you eat it in the garden and you wouldn't not share would you?
Preparing your own veg at piggie veg time or the sound of the potato peeler/knife on chopping board drives piggies mad.
Trying to unpack shopping quietly so you don't russle a bag (impossible).
Thinking twice about opening biscuit tin as they think it's their nugget tin.
Thinking twice about opening plastic container as they think its their pea flakes.
Only going a short distance on holiday and choosing pet friendly accommodation so the piggies can come to.
Going shopping in pouring rain when the only thing you really need is cucumber and you don't even like cucumber.
 
Taking great pleasure in putting newspaper in the pooping areas with politicians faces upwards :raz:....conversely NEVER doing that with an animal picture.

Sniffing hay and wishing you were a Guinea so you could try a bit as it smells soooooo nice.

Not wanting to hoover upstairs in case you wake the hamster.

Apologising to the Guineas for the scary film the husband is watching... like they even care!
 
Not daring to move after eating your own tea because there is a pig sat on the roof in their cage staring right at you & stamping one foot. Soon as you move she shrieks & the other pig comes running to join in the two pig band to demand tea time. The amount of times I've slid off a chair and crawled out of the room! (This only happens if we eat early & I want to shower before pig tea time).
 
1. *Packet rustles* FEEEEEDD MEEEEE.
2. Hay. Everywhere.
3. What's that? You want to sleep? Let me sing you the song of my people!
4. Pretends to be dead so I start crying but is actually tricking me
5. Refuses to walk even when there is lettuce up for grabs if she excersices
6. WON'T STOP WHEEKING
7. I give her a mat to wee on, she walks off and wees on the carpet. Thanks Toast.
 
Getting yelled at by your mom because you dropped a little piggy poop cleaning the cage or stoped up the vacuum with hay(and then she sees your room)
Getting woke up at 3 am because he ran out of hay
Dragging your rat in front of the cage to show him yes celery is edeible (yes my rat is teaching my guinea pig to be a guinea pig)
 
Oh the list is endless..

- going to Holland and Barrett or a chemist and getting stared at like you have two heads because you said "well, it's actually for a Guinea pig."

- the sight of mass poo production makes you happy

- you have a handheld dyson.. Solely for poo.

- The first thing you do when you get paid is hit zoo plus, Viovet, the hay experts, dust free hay and Timothy hay websites.. And don't feel one ounce of regret.

- "yes, I really do need 30kg and 12 varieties of hay.. For my 4 Guinea pigs."

-arrive home from work "hi honey, I'm just going to cuddle fudge then I'll make dinner."

- scouring the drawers for something to give your pig because they are standing at the bars.. After having fresh hay, pellets and veg. Thank god for pea flakes.

- "what time does it finish? Sorry I can't, fudge has meds at that time."

- travelling to another supermarket, because they didn't have any blueberries.

- designating your washing to avoid clashing with vet bed washing day

- asking the pigs "do you want some more?" Despite the fact we KNOW the answer is always yes.

- standing holding a poo with your bare hands and proceed to ask the pigs "who has sticky poo?"
 
- Truthfully explaining the cut on your chin caused by overenthusiastically face-planting the top edge of the piggies indoor run fence while laying on the floor cheering on a guinea with "PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY!" while they did zoomies. And then wishing you'd made up a saner, more realistic-sounding reason.
 
These are hilarious, relatable and somewhat gross. Hmm.
-Moving the hay bag a millimetre and then giving the pigs some hay because they get so excited you feel bad
-Going "awww, good boy!" When they poop because you're glad it's normal and people think you're mental.
-So much hay wasted. On the floor, used as a toilet.
-The fleece will never be spotless. Never.
-Awwing at an adorable piggy moment only to feel bad for the other pig(s)
-Sweeping the cage at 1am (so many poops. So. Many.)
-Wanting to take them to the vet if they do a slightly odd poop, make an odd sound, do anything slightly odd
-Bringing up guinea pigs in any conversation, ever
-Just got comfortable? Nice and warm, relaxed, sleepy? Too bad- veggie time"

Okay and has anyone ever had a serious cuteness overload? Seen a pig shaped like a bean, or yawning, or washing themselves and had to take a moment because the adorability scale had hit max?
 
- That nervousness when you've committed to 3 kilos of new piggy nuggets and the subsequent relief when they try them and gobble them up
- The knowledge after the above that although they like the new nuggets *now*, the temperamental pigtatoes may change their minds... but we'll get to #thatstruggleisreal as and when... :roll:
 
When you nick the blanket from the sofa in the living room to put over their cage (on top of the other one thats there already)....in their heated shed (which is warmer than the house).....its cold you know and their piggy paws may get chilly!

All above completed in a stealth like manner invisible to any other human eye..(otherwise you'll will get into SOOO much trouble with the other half)
 
- That awkward moment when someone innocently says: "You're always buying hay, do they really eat that much?" and having to tell them that the pigs wee and poop on it too, them then saying: "So they're litter trained?" and burning up with embarrassment whilst stuttering: "They sh*t where they eat" as you can't think of a more eloquent way to say it. True story, today :blink:
 
Similar to the above...
- Giving the piggies a running commentary on everything you're doing: "Just gonna close the curtains now, don't want the nighttime coming in!" (this is what my mum used to say to me as a kid) :))
 
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