Too much broccolli = soft smelly poops

PigglePuggle

PigglePuggle

Senior Guinea Pig
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Dear Ollie pig-wig,
I'm very sorry you have squishy poops today but I do rather think you brought this on yourself by stealing your wife's broccolli last night. I saw you take it when some junk mail came through the letterbox and scared her and she ran off! Double broccolli = squishy smelly poops. I know you are cross with me because you arent getting any veg tonight, but I wasnt best pleased either when I discovered you'd filled your double cuddle sack bed with squishy poops that smelled of broccolli then slept on them and squished them into the fleece. At least that explains why your lovely wife was avoiding sharing a bed with you, I was worried you'd fallen out but I think she just didnt like the sticky poopy broccolli bed and now your cage is all clean she will love you again.
You might get some red pepper tomorrow night if we lose the broccolli-overdose bum effects, but no more greens until weekend I'm afraid, but you can have extra hay.
Love from your devoted piggy slave who has broccolli poop squish under her fingernails now x
 
The junk mail that scared Tallulah away from her dinner was a politician's manifesto for the upcoming pointless European elections so I might write a strongly worded letter of complaint to the candidate! Though their manifesto leaflet was quite useful for scraping the squishy poops off the fleece... nice pointy corners it had :)
 
Minnieandpebbs said:
Silly Ollie! That must have been horrible too clean up. This also made me laugh. Alot!
🙊
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I've had a stressful day. We now have a For Sale board outside our house (yes it's really happening folks) and I have to get my house clean and "For Sale" tidy for Monday at 2.30 when we are having a Professional Photographer in to take some lovely photos of my house to entice people in so that they can buy it. I have had enough of cleaning and tidying cupboards! Reading your description of brocolli poop squished into a snuggle sack and laid on made me laugh and also the fact that Tallulah didn't want to know her husboar cos of the bad smell! Pleased everything is nice and clean again (except your poor fingernails).
 
Betsy said:
I've had a stressful day. We now have a For Sale board outside our house (yes it's really happening folks) and I have to get my house clean and "For Sale" tidy for Monday at 2.30 when we are having a Professional Photographer in to take some lovely photos of my house to entice people in so that they can buy it. I have had enough of cleaning and tidying cupboards! Reading your description of brocolli poop squished into a snuggle sack and laid on made me laugh and also the fact that Tallulah didn't want to know her husboar cos of the bad smell! Pleased everything is nice and clean again (except your poor fingernails).
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We should probably start a house moving thread to compare stories.
I gave removal assessors coming in later so I need to vacuum the worst of the hay and poops up.
 
From Ollie pig-wig:
Fellow piggies I would like to complain to the guinea pig council! These hoomans are witholding my rightful lettuce. See me with no lettuce!
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They are claiming to have evidence of broccolli theft and over indulgence and squishy poops, but today my poops did not squish onto the fleece so I contest that! How squishy can they be if you can pick them up by hand like that?!

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See how those evil hooman fiends only gave me hay for dinner! 3 different very tasty varieties to be sure and I might get some pellets later but no lettuces!

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I intend to write a formal letter of complaint, just as soon as I finish this hay nom nom nom...
Signed an aggrieved Ollie pig-wig who denies broccolli theft and over indulgence leading to squishy bum happenings x
 
Dear Ollie pig-wig

We think you are correct in writing a formal letter of complaint! No veg?!?!?:yikes: No lettuce?:eek: That really isn't on you know. This is so serious you need to write to the Guinea Pig Union too. We are used to yummy dandelion leaves before our pellets every morning now and we do love those! We know that they will stop arriving later on in the year but we are enjoying them while we can.
Lots of love
Christian, Meg and Velvet
Betsy and Dennis
 
Dear Meg, Velvet, Christian, Betsy and Dennis,

I'm glad you agree with me! Dandelion leaves sound yummy, our slaves are growing some outside food but it won't be ready for a while yet, maybe in 30 dinners time which is no use at all.
The piggy daddy slave who sings a lot and wears funny extra eyes is in trouble with the mummy slave who looks like an abyssinian piggy having a bad hair day because he was naughty and gave me cucumber and carrot for breakfast even though she said no veg today. So he had to pick up my poops by hand tonight and admit they were squishy and no veg would be better for my bottom.
These hoomans eh?!
Love from Ollie pig-wig who would just like to remind everyone he's had no lettuces x
 
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