What do you tell yourself during your ‘I’m a terrible owner’ moments?

piglette

piglette

Junior Guinea Pig
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Hi everyone,

I currently have 11 guinea pigs, all over 5 years and a few over 6 years. About half are being treated for arthritis in one place or another (knee, jaw, hip). One is a dental pig who needs trims every 2-4 mths, which is a big deal as they’re only done under GA here. I now have another 2 pigs looking like they’ll also need to start dentals in the next few weeks. And I’ve already lost 3 of my golden oldies this year.

The vet assures me that it’s not a husbandry issue - just a factor of very old piggies, with a poor start in life (not with me 😊), and plain bad luck - but I’m still having an ‘I’m a terrible owner’ moment. I know we all have them. What do you tell yourself to get through? I could really use the support 😔

I’m going to try and get some sleep before another night of critical care, but will get back to this thread when I can.
 
Try thinking about what would have happened to them if they had gone to a different home. Maybe one that wasn't clued up and didn't take them to the vets or didn't have a cavy savvy vet. At least in your care they are getting the treatment they need to live a good quality of life. It's tough, especially when there's so many at the same time but they are lucky they found their way to you
 
Think about what you have saved them from, and the facts that they are now in their senior years, and you made that happen, with love and good care. The times l say to myself, "never again " ,but you know what, l can't turn my back and walk away from furrbies needing help. Ask Odie, lol. Xx
 
teddymouse said:
Think about what you have saved them from, and the facts that they are now in their senior years, and you made that happen, with love and good care. The times l say to myself, "never again " ,but you know what, l can't turn my back and walk away from furrbies needing help. Ask Odie, lol. Xx
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This is what my partner says to me when I'm feeling down over losing them and illness and wondering if it's my fault, what could I have done differently.
How many bad owners would get up in the night/stay up all night for a sick guinea pig?
 
When I took Dennis for (what I now know) was his last ever vet visit the vet said to me that I had done a lot more for Dennis than a lot of owners would for a guinea pig and that I go above and beyond for all my piggies. My vet had guinea pigs while she was training to be a vet so knows what special little pigsonalities they are. I love my piggies and would do anything for them.
 
I feel the same way, these past few days for me have been very rough. My 1-year-old piggie has arthritis and sometimes doesn't feel so well. My other pig jumped out of my arms and fell and I feel so horrible and sad. He has his top teeth broken and is going to the vet tomorrow. I have been talking to people and that really helps calm me down. Even just sitting there with my piggies makes me feel a little better. They are probably happy to see you and to receive the food of course. Just know you are doing your best and your piggies appreciate it! :luv:
 
S'mores and Pockets said:
I feel the same way, these past few days for me have been very rough. My 1-year-old piggie has arthritis and sometimes doesn't feel so well. My other pig jumped out of my arms and fell and I feel so horrible and sad. He has his top teeth broken and is going to the vet tomorrow. I have been talking to people and that really helps calm me down. Even just sitting there with my piggies makes me feel a little better. They are probably happy to see you and to receive the food of course. Just know you are doing your best and your piggies appreciate it! :luv:
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Oh no. Sorry your piggie fell. . . It's the trouble with piggies sometimes they leap. . Hope vet and your tlc mends. . The little love. X
 
@piglette

I have, I guess, first hand experience of "I'm a terrible owner". A few years back I ended up on a section in a psychiatric ward, and I lived alone. Everything happened very suddenly and I was trying desperately to find a way to make sure my pigs were still being fed and watered. Even when I was finally allowed leave, it was only 2 hours a day - I had to get a taxi to and from the hospital, £20 a day, because the time limit meant I couldn't get buses. Then one day I was home, I'd gone to Tesco to stock up the veg so I was feeding them a little later than normal and I caught Comet doing the dreaded hunched up look. Soon as he realised I might be watching he went back to normal.
I had to go back to the hospital before I could ring for a vet appointment because, again, time limit. I said it was relatively urgent, but they wanted me to come in that day and I legally couldn't, I had to make the appointment for the following day all the while hoping the extra time wouldn't cause an issue. When I finally got him to the vet she pointed out his foot pads were a tad red, and they were, but my time restrictions meant cleaning them out was difficult to do as regularly as I should. She thought the hunching might be a pain response from his teeth because she couldn't find anything else wrong with him. Since my vet isn't Simon Maddock the check was gonna have to be done under anaesthetic which meant I was going to have to put it off because I didn't want him going under anaesthetic and me not being home overnight to check on him.

In the end everything worked out fine, but the amount of times I had to remind myself that I was doing the absolute best I could and nobody else could do better with the resources I had available - because I felt like a failure, like I was failing Comet, like I wasn't doing my duty as a pet owner to keep him safe and pain free. It is very hard to ignore those thoughts. The only way I could deal with it was reminding myself of the things I mentioned above. I was not a bad owner, same as you are not a bad owner.

(sorry, that was a bit long)
 
Lorcan said:
@piglette

I have, I guess, first hand experience of "I'm a terrible owner". A few years back I ended up on a section in a psychiatric ward, and I lived alone. Everything happened very suddenly and I was trying desperately to find a way to make sure my pigs were still being fed and watered. Even when I was finally allowed leave, it was only 2 hours a day - I had to get a taxi to and from the hospital, £20 a day, because the time limit meant I couldn't get buses. Then one day I was home, I'd gone to Tesco to stock up the veg so I was feeding them a little later than normal and I caught Comet doing the dreaded hunched up look. Soon as he realised I might be watching he went back to normal.
I had to go back to the hospital before I could ring for a vet appointment because, again, time limit. I said it was relatively urgent, but they wanted me to come in that day and I legally couldn't, I had to make the appointment for the following day all the while hoping the extra time wouldn't cause an issue. When I finally got him to the vet she pointed out his foot pads were a tad red, and they were, but my time restrictions meant cleaning them out was difficult to do as regularly as I should. She thought the hunching might be a pain response from his teeth because she couldn't find anything else wrong with him. Since my vet isn't Simon Maddock the check was gonna have to be done under anaesthetic which meant I was going to have to put it off because I didn't want him going under anaesthetic and me not being home overnight to check on him.

In the end everything worked out fine, but the amount of times I had to remind myself that I was doing the absolute best I could and nobody else could do better with the resources I had available - because I felt like a failure, like I was failing Comet, like I wasn't doing my duty as a pet owner to keep him safe and pain free. It is very hard to ignore those thoughts. The only way I could deal with it was reminding myself of the things I mentioned above. I was not a bad owner, same as you are not a bad owner.

(sorry, that was a bit long)
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Great honest answer. . and yes the piggie that fell.
 
David Piggie Lover said:
How is the piggie. :hmm:
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He is doing ok, one of his teeth broke off but I don't think he is in pain. He is eating, and I am syringe feeding him water. I will give him some critical care if needed. But he is going to the vet so hopefully, he will be alright, and piggy's teeth grow back fast. 🙏
 
Feeling that we’re failing is perfectly normal because when we love our piggies we want everything to be perfect all the time.
No-one can ‘cure’ old age.
It’s a tribute to your love and care that rescued piggies have lived such long and, clearly, happy lives.
 
I made nearly every mistake possible when I first got my boys; tiny cage, poor diet, handling to early, buying pet shop piggies the list goes on. On our wages it's not always as easy as just changing things as soon as you know better. I'm finally happy with my piggie care although I can only do a full bedding change once a week and I don't change their water every day. My snake is a similar case he was my fiancees childhood pet and his care was poor and hadn't changed in 10 years. His mum told me there was no point in improving his care because he's old and will probably die soon anyway. I'm still not happy with the size of vivarium I provide for him but I've had to prioritize helping my sister improve her turtles care as there was a lot that needed changing there. I wish I knew the answer to not feeling pet owner guilt the only thing that helps me is believing that guilt and wanting the best for my pets has only driven me forward and wouldn't it be terrible if they had the same care but had an owner that didn't feel that way and didn't want to change. The pet owner guilt has faded the more I improve their care but I know it will all come back when they're old or sick and I'm left wondering if the mistakes I made in the beginning have shortened their life or limited their ability to enjoy the time they had with us. Sorry if this was a long rambling post but it's felt very therapeutic writing it all down
 
Sweet Potato said:
I made nearly every mistake possible when I first got my boys; tiny cage, poor diet, handling to early, buying pet shop piggies the list goes on. On our wages it's not always as easy as just changing things as soon as you know better. I'm finally happy with my piggie care although I can only do a full bedding change once a week and I don't change their water every day. My snake is a similar case he was my fiancees childhood pet and his care was poor and hadn't changed in 10 years. His mum told me there was no point in improving his care because he's old and will probably die soon anyway. I'm still not happy with the size of vivarium I provide for him but I've had to prioritize helping my sister improve her turtles care as there was a lot that needed changing there. I wish I knew the answer to not feeling pet owner guilt the only thing that helps me is believing that guilt and wanting the best for my pets has only driven me forward and wouldn't it be terrible if they had the same care but had an owner that didn't feel that way and didn't want to change. The pet owner guilt has faded the more I improve their care but I know it will all come back when they're old or sick and I'm left wondering if the mistakes I made in the beginning have shortened their life or limited their ability to enjoy the time they had with us. Sorry if this was a long rambling post but it's felt very therapeutic writing it all down
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Yes, it is very worrying when we wonder about how we cared for them at the beginning... I researched guinea pigs for a bit before getting two but I also got a smaller sized cage than they should. After one of my first piggies died and I adopted Pocket's for S'mores I got a bigger cage and suddenly all these health issues popped up and I had never taken them to the vet. So it has been a good experience to learn responsibility and I still have lots to learn.
 
We've all had days when we think we're not good enough, but guess that's just another strain of mom guilt!
I went through stage when I lost few of my pets due to old age/illness , as well as family members and all I could think of was 'who's next?'. many of my pets are old, 12yrs old dog, 9 & 7 yrs old cats. Two of my piggies aren't the youngest either--9, 7 and 4, 1 yrs . The health issues are starting and without the normal vet checks it's overwhelming to keep on top of everything.
I've taught myself to 'do best with the conditions and information I have'. It allows you to be kind to yourself. And trust me, if they didn't have us they wouldn't be much happier. I mean, we know their personalities and their likes/dislikes. They announce our presence with a lot of squeaking and happiness. We get excited to see they've pooped all over the cages and ate all their food and worry when their pee turns strange colour!
I always had rescues and believe they know the difference. Difference between someone who doesn't care and someone who's already devastated just thinking they'll be gone one day.
 
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