COVID-19 What would you do?

Spaghetti & Noodles

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I'm currently stuck on the right thing to do - my daughter has been invited to a birthday party, it appears there will be 9/10 children plus the parents of the person who has invited her, initially I said yes as we thought there was only going to be 6/7 total plus the parents but I've now been added to a message group and it looks like the are more, my instinct is to say no as it's not right but all except 3 are in the same year group bubbles at school and I know that will be one of the reasons they seem to think it is ok. I feel I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, of we allow her to go it's like saying the advice doesn't matter and we shouldn't worry as we live in a very low risk area the advice doesn't apply to us or she doesn't go and is excluded from the circle of friends effectively and misses out when they're all taking about it in school next week.
Annoyingly this is a family who took their kids out of school early before lockdown then disregarded the lockdown later on, went to France and did isolate but then had been allowing the children to have sleepovers?
I wish covid would just go away. ☹
 

Sweet Potato

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this is such a tough decision. how old is your daughter maybe it's worth talking about it with her and see how she feels about it, whether she has any concerns, how important it is to her etc.
 

Piggies&buns

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Are birthday parties allowed with the rule change coming on Monday? I know weddings, funerals and other religious ceremonies are, but I’m not sure about birthday parties?
 

Spaghetti & Noodles

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this is such a tough decision. how old is your daughter maybe it's worth talking about it with her and see how she feels about it, whether she has any concerns, how important it is to her etc.
Are birthday parties allowed with the rule change coming on Monday? I know weddings, funerals and other religious ceremonies are, but I’m not sure about birthday parties?
My daughter is 11 so is well aware and capable of understanding, she has actually been looking on gov website ( I have a paternal app that tracks things) to make sure I've told her the right thing, my understanding is that current guidelines are 6 individuals from different households are able to meet up outside, and 2 household of any number up to 30 can meet inside but as of Monday the number will be 6 from individual households inside or out, so in theory my sister in law and son could come and visit us but she'd have to leave her husband at home as we are 4 in our house.
As my husband points out they are all on the same school bus, even though they are wearing masks, so maybe they are just as likely to pick something up from there or school, how do we know if they are cleaning desks between lessons, are they disinfecting the bus each day etc.
 

Piggies&buns

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when is the party - tomorrow I’m assuming?

I can definitely say that schools absolutely are cleaning desks, equipment etc and buses should be being disinfected - it’s all part of being Covid secure - we have had to have somebody come out and sign off our preschool and give us a certificate to prove we are being Covid secure and that we are now following incredibly strict cleaning regimes.
 

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If she is 11 I would sit down and ask her what she thinks.
Explain how you feel and your concerns and discuss it openly and honestly with her, so you can make the decision together.
If it's really imprtant to her and she really wants to go then i would be inclined to let her, but remind her about hand washing before eating anything (which the parents should do anyway), and also make sure she washes her hands and changes as soon as she gets home.
 

Spaghetti & Noodles

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when is the party - tomorrow I’m assuming?

I can definitely say that schools absolutely are cleaning desks, equipment etc and buses should be being disinfected - it’s all part of being Covid secure - we have had to have somebody come out and sign off our preschool and give us a certificate to prove we are being Covid secure and that we are now following incredibly strict cleaning regimes.
I work in Foundation/yr1 and we are also cleaning regularly during the day and cleaning desks etc at the end of the day, I hope my children's secondary are also doing the same but we can only hope that's the case, the party is tomorrow afternoon so I I have to make a choice today really, I have talked to her about my concerns and she does understand but at the end of the day she's 11 and friends and being accepted are far more important.
My husband thinks she should go.
 

Piggies&buns

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I work in Foundation/yr1 and we are also cleaning regularly during the day and cleaning desks etc at the end of the day, I hope my children's secondary are also doing the same but we can only hope that's the case, the party is tomorrow afternoon so I I have to make a choice today really, I have talked to her about my concerns and she does understand but at the end of the day she's 11 and friends and being accepted are far more important.
My husband thinks she should go.
Yes they really should be. My daughter’s secondary has employed more full time cleaners to be present during the day to clean rather than only having evening cleaners.

I personally think it’s rather a lot of households to be mixing and I completely get your worries, but if your daughter understands distancing and hygiene and is confident enough to say to the parents at the party when she feels vulnerable then I think I would let her go.
My daughter did go to a small party in August (not as many people present as with your party) and all the children were very respectful of distancing and hygiene - they made the best of it and had a good party anyway but she did say it didn’t feel like a party used to be (that made me tear up and feel so bad for them)
 

Spaghetti & Noodles

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Yes they really should be. My daughter’s secondary has employed more full time cleaners to be present during the day to clean rather than only having evening cleaners.

I personally think it’s rather a lot of households to be mixing and I completely get your worries, but if your daughter understands distancing and hygiene and is confident enough to say to the parents at the party when she feels vulnerable then I think I would let her go.
My daughter did go to a small party in August (not as many people present as with your party) and all the children were very respectful of distancing and hygiene - they made the best of it and had a good party anyway but she did say it didn’t feel like a party used to be (that made me tear up and feel so bad for them)
Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really do think it's too many as well but I am really struggling with her being left out, it's such a difficult time joining a new school with all the added covid restrictions, she is quite good with distancing and does understand, I just have to trust she will be sensible despite my concerns. Her birthday was in June so we had 2 friends and they stayed in the garden and sat apart at that point they were only at school for half a day so it was more important to see her friends, it feels wrong but I think she'll go.
 

Spaghetti & Noodles

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Thank you both for asking, it sounds like they had a good time but she did say it was difficult to keep apart, she cleaned her hands when she got in the car and has changed and washed her hands since home. I felt uncomfortable but put her need to be with friends above my concerns, we have to get back to some normality but in my opinion, it was too many. I must have come across as really rude or antisocial because I left as quickly as possible. I have never had such an anxious feeling as I did today, I've never been great with lots of people but normally manage to bluff my way through it, today just made me feel awkward.
 

Siikibam

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It sounds like she was sensible. It is difficult. I dropped and picked up my girls at school Friday. I would have felt more comfortable wearing a mask but then I don’t want to be the odd one out!
 

Spaghetti & Noodles

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Your daughter sounds like a lovely and very sensible kid, and i am glad she had the chance to go.
I think you managed the whole thing very well.
Thank you, I am feeling a bit better about it now, I was just so aware that I didn't allow her to attend the leavers event organised by a few parents back in July and to say no again, whilst I feel it should have been a no, she would be gradually left out of things and not invited going forward and although it was a while ago 😄I remember how hard friendships can be at that age, covid or not it's a tricky age that I'm sure it's only going to get more challenging🤨
 
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