’wheeking’ outrage from 6 ‘hungry’ pigs

[Hannah_xx]

The pigs, want to lodge a complaint.
Tonight they were RATIONED. Dinner was a mere couple of slices of pepper, slither of carrot and a couple of pathetic bits of celery. Why, they ask WHY? Dinner is usually decent? Salad leaves topped with a selection of other veggies and often garnished with a herb! But no not today?
They do not understand why, I tried telling them..
Every morning the Guineas get a SMALL sprinkle of salad leaves. Well THIS morning the usual slave was in Melbourne for the night (seeing David Gray concert I may add!).
So they got a house sitter, And the (lovely) house sitter was new to the piggies and obviously didn’t quite understand my clear instructions of ‘Just a small handful of the mixed salad in each cage first thing’.
As I’ve gone to give the pigs their dinner tonight to find the whole bag of salad gone. Luckily it wasn’t a full bag, perhaps a 3rd full..but it was a jumbo bag..so still enough for a few more days!
I think their salad rations can be ZERO for a few days as I recon they had more than enough calcium etc in one huge hit this morning!
But of course..They’re blaming me. And demand more veggies. NO, you’ll get upset bellies you little pigs!
And they are also demanding their morning salad gets upped to the house sitter portions!

 

[Bradshaw Piggies]

mine would be protesting too!

Hope you enjoyed the concert!

 

[VickiA]

Are you absolutely sure that the piggies were the recipients of the salad bag? Those faces look starving. Is it possible the house sitter could have eaten it themselves? I don’t think the piggies should suffer in this way while you’re unable to prove the matter conclusively - after all the piggies are unable to tell you directly what happened!

 

[Swissgreys]

I remember our house sitter sending us pictures of the piggies getting half a carrot each!
When we came home everyone went on a diet

 

[VickiA]

My lot got sprouts one year when a helpful pet sitter found them in the fridge - in the second veg drawer that was not labelled “piggy veg drawer” and was destined for our dinner. They all had to go on bloat watch and the poops smelled vile!

 

[Hannah_xx]

Are you absolutely sure that the piggies were the recipients of the salad bag? Those faces look starving. Is it possible the house sitter could have eaten it themselves? I don’t think the piggies should suffer in this way while you’re unable to prove the matter conclusively - after all the piggies are unable to tell you directly what happened!

It’s a good point Vicki! one that the piggies tried to convince me too!
But I am 99.8% the sitter didn’t eat any of our food (she was more than welcome to!).
The pigs will just have to put up with some..more..plain old boring hay tonight

 

[Hannah_xx]

I remember our house sitter sending us pictures of the piggies getting half a carrot each!
When we came home everyone went on a diet

Oh noo! And what can you say..’oh noooo they can’t have that much carrot, take it away!’ they would think were bonkers!..okay maybe we are?

My lot got sprouts one year when a helpful pet sitter found them in the fridge - in the second veg drawer that was not labelled “piggy veg drawer” and was destined for our dinner. They all had to go on bloat watch and the poops smelled vile!

I would have been paranoid for weeks after that! Thank goodness everyone was okay
Non pig people just do not understand do they?!

 

[Betsy]

Watch out @Hannah_xx The One and Only Thea is on the case!

Dear Piggies

Oh dear oh dear what has happened to your Slave? She's just come back from a month away leaving you somewhere strange with a new Temporary Slave and now goes off and leaves you with someone else overnight albeit in your own home. Then she SEVERELY rations your salad - this is just a shocking state of affairs. You clearly need to retrain your Slave as she has obviously forgotten that you are the most important beings in the house.

You need to show your disapproval by not letting her pick you up and when you decide that you have had enough of the "catch me if you can" game make sure you wee all over her lap and add in a bit of poop for extra fun. Bar bite at every opportunity when she comes into your room but not so hard it breaks your teeth. Start the breakfast, lunch and dinner chorus earlier and make it much louder than normal. Poop loads more too so she has to poop pick more often, try to make a record and see if she needs to poop pick at least 3 times a day, preferably 4. Wheak whenever you see your Slave or Daddy Slave, do your best to look extra cute and always give her the "I'm starving" face and every opportunity.

I hope this is the beginning of bringing your Slave up to the standard in which you would like to become accustomed.

Yours in love of all things salad (except martoes which are EVIL!)

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward

 

[Hannah_xx]

Watch out @Hannah_xx The One and Only Thea is on the case!

Dear Piggies

Oh dear oh dear what has happened to your Slave? She's just come back from a month away leaving you somewhere strange with a new Temporary Slave and now goes off and leaves you with someone else overnight albeit in your own home. Then she SEVERELY rations your salad - this is just a shocking state of affairs. You clearly need to retrain your Slave as she has obviously forgotten that you are the most important beings in the house.

You need to show your disapproval by not letting her pick you up and when you decide that you have had enough of the "catch me if you can" game make sure you wee all over her lap and add in a bit of poop for extra fun. Bar bite at every opportunity when she comes into your room but not so hard it breaks your teeth. Start the breakfast, lunch and dinner chorus earlier and make it much louder than normal. Poop loads more too so she has to poop pick more often, try to make a record and see if she needs to poop pick at least 3 times a day, preferably 4. Wheak whenever you see your Slave or Daddy Slave, do your best to look extra cute and always give her the "I'm starving" face and every opportunity.

I hope this is the beginning of bringing your Slave up to the standard in which you would like to become accustomed.

Yours in love of all things salad (except martoes which are EVIL!)

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward

Thea! You’re outrageously cunning!
The pigs are already wheeeking in joy at your suggestions! There is POOP flying in the air in protest!