Biscuit Has Asked

I am just catching up with the forum after being away for a while. I'm laughing so much I'm keeping the piggies awake! Poor Buiscuit, hope you get well very soon.
 
Biscuit reports she has suffered another day of starvation and indignity. She was butt bathed again this morning, as she was cold she was them BLOW DRIED then had to suffer a pedicure, so had frizzy hair and clean nails finished off with stinky medication.

What’s more mummy had crinkly crisp packet and refused to share! Then every other guinea pig was taken out and when they came back they smelt of pellets and veg!

A letter has gone to the Donald Trump who she is sure enjoys food as much as she does. Hopefully he can redirect the missiles away from North Korea onto mummy......
 
Betsy is in sympathy with you Biscuit. Whenever she has a bum bath she is blow dried too. Frizzy hair is not a good look on a piggy, clean nails are good though but stinky medication is not. Christian wants to know what medication you have cos if its metacam he's moving in! Meg says that to have all the other pigs smelling of pellets and veg and then not sharing crispies with you is just not on. Velvet says to bite Mummy to show her you are not happy and Dennis just says 'whatever go with the flow'
 
Biscuit replied it’s bio lapis, and there is absolutely no metacam what so ever anywhere in the house at all (although I suspect the vat of it that we have for her is now tucked firmly under her pillow).

Jet replied shut up woman I’m trying to sleep (they are tucked up together) mmmmm I’ve just found metacam!
 
Katiedid said:
Biscuit replied it’s bio lapis, and there is absolutely no metacam what so ever anywhere in the house at all (although I suspect the vat of it that we have for her is now tucked firmly under her pillow).

Jet replied shut up woman I’m trying to sleep (they are tucked up together) mmmmm I’ve just found metacam!
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Christian is on his way over to your place then! He is a metacam junkie! When he had his first dose (a while ago) he pushed away the syringe until he discovered metacam tasted yummy. Then on his second dose as soon as he saw the syringe his mouth was open! He was very disappointed that the course only lasted for a week!
 
If biscuit is in her hut all I have to do is poke the syringe in the door and I have her mouth wrapped around it. Given how god awful she is taking meds it must taste nice....
 
Biscuit's Diary

Day 6 of starvation,

The Human wardens are still starving me, I have loudly protested that the 'smooch' is of thicker consistency and therefore pellets should be reinstated, as should crisps (not that I have tried crisps but they sound nice) and sweetcorn. Jet is trying to comfort me but last night I noticed he had sweetcorn breath, he assured me that he hadn't just stuffed a whole round of sweetcorn in his mouth in 10 min, Ziggy told me he had. Jet and I may need to discuss divorce but that can wait until I am better.....

Binky seems to be surprisingly well fed, the Human wardens take her out each evening and collect her poop, I had wondered what they were doing and why they needed poop until I was syringe fed Binky's poop. Binky is now resembling a seal pup.....

I am searching the internet for ways to escape......I think tunnelling may be the answer..........

stay strong comrades.....
 
Dennis is on your side Biscuit. He says being force fed Binky's poop sounds horrendous and you really should escape over here as he will look after you. Velvet said that your slave is only wanting to get you better and you wouldn't like crisps even if you tried them (not that she knows). Christian has just told me he fancies you something chronic and if you ever divorce Jet he will willingly take his place and Betsy says this starvation diet is not on and Meg agrees with Velvet cos if she doesn't she'll just get nipped..... again.
 
Comet would like to know if crisps are those things that come in a crinkly bag, because all food comes from a crinkly bag but sometimes Lorcán refuses to share. And if crisps aren't shared they should be made illegal.

Blitzen says he'll teach Biscuit how to do the most amazing death stares if it'll help Biscuit feel better?
 
Betsy said:
Dennis is on your side Biscuit. He says being force fed Binky's poop sounds horrendous and you really should escape over here as he will look after you. Velvet said that your slave is only wanting to get you better and you wouldn't like crisps even if you tried them (not that she knows). Christian has just told me he fancies you something chronic and if you ever divorce Jet he will willingly take his place and Betsy says this starvation diet is not on and Meg agrees with Velvet cos if she doesn't she'll just get nipped..... again.
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Biscuit has decided Velvet is right, she doesn't like being nipped. Biscuit says thank you Dennis but Velvet sounds scary. Biscuit asks if she can have a photo pf Christian to see if he is more handsome than Jet, although she did have a laugh as Jet was apparently also fed Binky's poop soup but didn't think to spit it out onto mummy's knee (cos he loves his mummy).

Lorcan said:
Comet would like to know if crisps are those things that come in a crinkly bag, because all food comes from a crinkly bag but sometimes Lorcán refuses to share. And if crisps aren't shared they should be made illegal.

Blitzen says he'll teach Biscuit how to do the most amazing death stares if it'll help Biscuit feel better?
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Biscuit says yes crisps come in a crinkly bag and it is likely that the food Lorcán is refusing to share is crisps, sweets whatever they are also come in a crinkly bag and 'are not for you'. Biscuit thanks Blitzen, she thinks she has a good death stare and practiced it on mummy last night when she was by the fire being fed an oxbow gut biscuit whilst the others were 6 foot away having veg.

Biscuit reports that she is now producing poops that look like rehydrated raisins - round but wrinkly and soft. She has told hooman thats good enough for Veg, hooman has said no not yet (although Hooman is starting to cave as the other bears have all lost a little weight - about 15g and Zigg having self litter trained - by which I mean she has trained herself to poop by the water dish and in the water dish - isn't enjoying floor time as after 20 min she is bursting).
 
Katiedid said:
Biscuit has decided Velvet is right, she doesn't like bein g niped. Biscuit says thank you Dennis but Velvet sounds scary. Biscuit asks if she can have a photo pf Christian to see if he is more handsome than Jet, although she did have a laugh as Jet was apparently also fed Binky's poop soup but didn't think to spit it out onto mummy's knee (cos he loves his mummy).
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Dennis says that Biscuit is right Velvet is :yikes:VERY SCARY:yikes: She is fine as long as you do things her way but if you so much as step out of line you know about it.

Here is a photo Christian just for you Biscuit. He has asked me to send you one showing his good side!

Betsy Hay Tunnel 3.webp
:oops: maybe not that one!

These 3 are a lot better!

Christian 1.webp Christian 3.webp

Christian 6.webp
 
Dennis has also asked me to pass this message on to Biscuit if you step out of line "Be afraid of Velvet..... Very afraid!" *theme music to Psycho*
 
Betsy said:
Dennis says that Biscuit is right Velvet is :yikes:VERY SCARY:yikes: She is fine as long as you do things her way but if you so much as step out of line you know about it.

Here is a photo Christian just for you Biscuit. He has asked me to send you one showing his good side!

View attachment 78235
:oops: maybe not that one!

These 3 are a lot better!

View attachment 78236 View attachment 78237

View attachment 78232
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What a handsome boy - I don’t think I should show that pic to my girls, they’ll be swooning
 
I showed Biscuit the photos and she said ‘phwoar’ she has a soft spot for agouti boys especially so,vet agouti, she knows mummy loves a silver agouti so has asked if he could move in, if not she is thinking about packing her bags and taking a boat trip however tonight pellets were reintroduced so she has a full tummy and is all sleepy.....

Jet says ggrrrrrrrr
 
Christian would love Biscuit to come and live here but unfortunately Velvet has put her foot down and said, "No". Then he suggested that he go and live with Biscuit but she said he couldn't. He is now sulking in the corner. Betsy said she is very happy that pellets have been reintroduced to the diet and that starvation rations seem to be gradually going! Dennis says he'll try to convince Velvet to have Biscuit come and stay for a holiday and Meg says, "whatever"
 
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I take it that is your poop then Biscuit? You don't look at all impressed that Mummy has taken a picture of you beside it. You'll have to ask when the veg starvation diet ends!
 
Biscuit reports she produced the poop after half an hour curled up by the fire where mummy growled at her with her eyes closed. She isn’t best pleased about the publicity surrounding her poop and hopes that Christian doesn’t get to see it as she would be soooo embarrassed.

Mummy has promised a small veg meal tonight.
 
Biscuit says, well today was an adventure, I took the wonky boy to the vets, and suddenly found a thermomiter up my butt again and mummy was holding me and had remembered about bitey teef and I couldn’t bite her so I screamed.

Anyways, we were incarcerated - me and sir fart a lot, and they starved us! and then Ian the nice vetinarian came and I had my belly shaved again! Then I was made sleepy and woke up with stinky! Stinky said he was puts into a box to be made to glow in the dark! I don’t believe him. We both had our reefs checked and then came home.

Apparently - and this made me laugh, I can eat what’s I want because I’m lumpy but Jet can’t have Gerty and is on no veg! That’ll teach him with his celery breath teasing me.

So tonight I’ve had some veggies and Gerty and I’m happy. I’ve also covered everyone in da smooch!
 
Comet says congrats on the screaming, Biscuit, there's nothing that'll make the slaves feel more guilty in his experience. Bonus points if you deafen them.
 
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