Diabolical Piggies Group

Truffolo said:
MS feels she is safe, Truffle is so good and nice, he would never turn to Miss Bramble for guidance (would he?). She also feels Polo might be open to some bribery 🤞
She has parsley... 🥹
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Dear Mommy Slave

It's not about whether your piggies are "so good and nice" it's about Slave's (ie your) behaviour. No piggies are open to bribery either!

My advice is given to piggies in an attempt to train their Slaves into doing what the piggies want them to do and what the Slaves should do in the first place. Slaves should pander to every piggie's whim and if that doesn't happen I am here to help them ensure that it does.

Your piggies friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Eddie is very pleased there are all these practised mischief makers in the club for him to learn from

He’s been working on his innocent look after I caught him running headlong into the water bottle because he decided veggies were two minutes late. Spilled everywhere 😂


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JaseChase said:
Eddie is very pleased there are all these practised mischief makers in the club for him to learn from

He’s been working on his innocent look after I caught him running headlong into the water bottle because he decided veggies were two minutes late. Spilled everywhere 😂


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That's a very innocent look Eddie!
 
My name is Bertie, please can I join your club, it sounds fun.

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My human says I am a diabolical pest, whatever that is! My latest 'fault' is that I have eaten a chunk of my cage. I don't know why she is so upset, it's my cage. I think it looks cool, it is cool, it gives me a bit of extra air flow. However tight the edge binders fit I can pull them off, we were having a little competition to see if I could remove them and I could, clever hey! Human says I will just have to live like that now, she's not giving me new plastic, I'll just chew it again.

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Here's a picture of me thinking up the next clever thing I can do, you can see my new air flow designed cage.
 
Hi Bertie, we share the same black eye patches. Nobody will recognise us, huh?

Tell me, exactly how did you get the nibble guards off? The plastic is just so lovely and crunchy, and most of ours is out of reach (hooman learnt her lesson with Holly 😂). I am currently working on the water bottle again

Love, Bandit x

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Dear Bandit,
Just put you lower front teeth on the bottom edge of the guard and yank it up. Sometimes it takes a couple of goes but it will fly across the room or the cage eventually. That's not playing fair putting them out of reach, I'd write to the GPU about that.
Love from Bertie.
 
Brangwyn 'White Raven' would like to apply for membership with other badly misunderstood career boars.

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"Just because I started rumble-strutting at just over 24 hours old, being told off all the time by the whole family and not always meeting sows who just melt to the ground (with their lush bums in the air for me to do my manly duty and assert my leadership) whenever they meet my handsome physique, doesn't mean that my claim for more cage room and more sexy wives in order to fit both me and my ego (especially my ego) into the same space is frivolous?

Brothers, what do you think?"
 
piggieminder said:
My name is Bertie, please can I join your club, it sounds fun.

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My human says I am a diabolical pest, whatever that is! My latest 'fault' is that I have eaten a chunk of my cage. I don't know why she is so upset, it's my cage. I think it looks cool, it is cool, it gives me a bit of extra air flow. However tight the edge binders fit I can pull them off, we were having a little competition to see if I could remove them and I could, clever hey! Human says I will just have to live like that now, she's not giving me new plastic, I'll just chew it again.

View attachment 273013

Here's a picture of me thinking up the next clever thing I can do, you can see my new air flow designed cage.
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Hi Bertie,
welcome to our fun club. It sounds like you can teach us all a few yummy tricks.
See you at the club house!
Wheeks Pino
 
Wiebke said:
Brangwyn 'White Raven' would like to apply for membership with other badly misunderstood career boars.

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"Just because I started rumble-strutting at just over 24 hours old, being told off all the time by the whole family and not always meeting sows who just melt to the ground (with their lush bums in the air for me to do my manly duty and assert my leadership) whenever they meet my handsome physique, doesn't mean that my claim for more cage room and more sexy wives in order to fit both me and my ego (especially my ego) into the same space is frivolous?

Brothers, what do you think?"
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Hi Brangwyn,
of course you're very welcome to join our club. I don't do a lot of rumble-strutting myself so maybe you could give me a few hints.
Wheeks Pino
 
Hi Pino,

I'd love to teach you how to rumblestrut! I'm a very good teacher, so the Human says, I even managed to teach Shannon and Avoca! Although now they rumblestrut at me, which is...odd. I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to work, but the Human says that's my fault for assuming the girls couldn't work it out.

He's still mad at me for upsetting Avoca earlier. How is it my fault she didn't get out of the way and got mad when I stood on her? I just wanted my food. The Human says I could've had it where I was but every pig knows the best veg only comes when you're begging right at the bars.

Wheeks in solidarity,
Mourne.
 
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Hi Mourne,
thank you for your kind offer. It would be very helpful to take a few rumble-strutting classes. Mummy slaves says that she hasn't known any boar before me who showed so little boarly behaviour.

And yes, I know how you feel about the girls rumblestrutting at you. Something feels very wrong about that.

Wheeks Pino
 
Viennese Furbabies said:
Hi Mourne,
thank you for your kind offer. It would be very helpful to take a few rumble-strutting classes. Mummy slaves says that she hasn't known any boar before me who showed so little boarly behaviour.

And yes, I know how you feel about the girls rumblestrutting at you. Something feels very wrong about that.

Wheeks Pino
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Hi Pino

Doesn't it just? Especially when your very own mum, auntie and dad rumbles back at you for being uppity! (Or so they said.) :yikes:

It's all in your rumbling voice - a sonorous bass wins paws down over an operatic tenor anytime where the ladies are concerned but your hipswing is also important.

When you are young, you wiggle a lot more with your bum to attract the girls but the real heavyweights just gently shift from one back foot to the other to show off their bulk and muscles in order to kind of vibrate with a deep rumble. I am getting there. Thankfully, dad has given all three sons a nice deep voice as well as a proper boartitude.

PS: Although he doesn't get too far with it with mum and auntie (who are also his mother and sister - we have a somewhat complicated family); they are both true bag ladies who regularly meet at dawn for handbag duelling practice. Dad has recommended to better not get caught in the middle of a sow dispute because they might choose you as their handy practice target...
 
Wiebke said:
Hi Pino

Doesn't it just? Especially when your very own mum, auntie and dad rumbles back at you for being uppity! (Or so they said.) :yikes:

It's all in your rumbling voice - a sonorous bass wins paws down over an operatic tenor anytime where the ladies are concerned but your hipswing is also important.

When you are young, you wiggle a lot more with your bum to attract the girls but the real heavyweights just gently shift from one back foot to the other to show off their bulk and muscles in order to kind of vibrate with a deep rumble. I am getting there. Thankfully, dad has given all three sons a nice deep voice as well as a proper boartitude.

PS: Although he doesn't get too far with it with mum and auntie; they are true bag ladies who regularly meet at dawn for handbag duelling practice. He has recommended to better not get caught in the middle of a sow dispute because they might choose you as practice target...
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Oh yes, always stay clear of squabbling ladies! I have learnt that much already.
And it's also a good idea to stay clear of Kylie. Anytime...
Wheeks Pino
 
Tolka's in season. The Human only knows this because, in his words, "stop harassing the poor girl and leave her alone, she's got teeth too, and so does her mama. And so does Shannon."

And while he has a point, welllllll, she's in season!

The Human calls me an idiot. Rude, really.

Wheeks in Solidarity,
Mourne.
 
Dear Mourne

Humans have no idea of the power of the singing of our blood and how a full chorus is drowning out everything; including anything they or anypig else says.

After all, human sows - poor creatures - don't have seasons like our sows do, so they can never experience the full power of the singing of the blood that rampages through a male body when the pheromones are in full swing on those special occasions; especially for one as you, who has only come into his full boarly power so recently.

I sympathise with you and envy you, brother Mourne. The power of the singing settles down the longer you are with sows and the older you get, sadly. Unfortunately, the handbagging remains... :(

A supportive RRRRUMble from Bran x
 
Edamame here! I’m taking notes on everyone’s boarliness even though I haven’t met many sows yet

I’m especially interested in how early Bran learned to rumble. I’m still perfecting my deep voice. Every time I think I’m getting the rumble + bum waggle right, uncle Tofu chases me and tells me I’m not big enough for that yet. I want to take some secret lessons so I can tell him I’m clearly meant to be in charge!

I did stomp on his head during my morning zooms so he’s a bit grumpy with me for some reason. It’s not my fault he didn’t get out of the tunnel fast enough 😇
 
Pro tips,
When sleeping, try to ensure that your 🍒 are on show ( boys only) and every time the slaves call you cute, show them that you have half a poo hanging out. This often discourages photos being taken.
Rumbles,
Mischievous Master Boris
 
fluffysal said:
Pro tips,
When sleeping, try to ensure that your 🍒 are on show ( boys only) and every time the slaves call you cute, show them that you have half a poo hanging out. This often discourages photos being taken.
Rumbles,
Mischievous Master Boris
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Dear Master Boris

I'm afraid to say you are mistaken. Although some humans have been reported to have avoiding taking poo pics (possibly due to disgust) statistics show that most humans find this funny, cute and possibly even endearing resulting in an increased likelihood of photographs. Evidence shows the best way to expose your so called "privates" is to do so within a hide or against the side of the cage. Although it is important in these instances to check that it is not infact only your head that is hidden, a tragic error that many of our fellow boars have fallen foul too.

Yours squeeksearly
Hugo
 
JaseChase said:
Edamame here! I’m taking notes on everyone’s boarliness even though I haven’t met many sows yet

I’m especially interested in how early Bran learned to rumble. I’m still perfecting my deep voice. Every time I think I’m getting the rumble + bum waggle right, uncle Tofu chases me and tells me I’m not big enough for that yet. I want to take some secret lessons so I can tell him I’m clearly meant to be in charge!

I did stomp on his head during my morning zooms so he’s a bit grumpy with me for some reason. It’s not my fault he didn’t get out of the tunnel fast enough 😇
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Hi Edamame

I didn't learn it; I just did it. But I had a litter brother (Baeddan) to outcompete and plenty of sows all around me while I grew up to practise on through the bars. One lot (Dylan's widows Beti and Begw) actually fell for me and agreed to become my wives as soon as my human sow officially introduced me to them when I was 5 months old.

Here are some pictures from my moves during the intro in April 2023:

The Bum Sniff
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The obligatory dominance mount
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And the youthful bum wiggle
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Hello Friends,
I've been working on the air flow in my cage again. Hooman thinks I need a draught excluder because my cage is in the doorway to the kitchen where the window is often open. I disagree.

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I also got hooman really worried about my digestive system, she could only find one very small bit of cardboard. I'm on poop watch in case I'm blocked up. Nothing wrong with me! Hehe.

Love Bertie.
 
Dear Forum Friends,
My hooman had the cheek to call me diabolical because I empty my bottle instead of swallowing water I let it run down my body and soak my cage. I need a new mat at least once a day, they have to give me two bottles in case I run out of water!
I'm refusing to eat the new batch of hay that came last week, not good enough, they've had to order me a box of the expensive stuff. I knew I'd get my own way in the end. I've not ben feeling too well over the weekend, the vet lady says I have gas, whatever that is! Hooman just gave me some yucky orange stuff in a syringe and some food. I liked the food it tasted like my pellets but it was wet and in a syringe too. I got my own back for the orange stuff, I wiggled my bum off the towel and weed all down hooman's leg. :lol:
Love from Brillo.

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Note from hooman, orange stuff is Fibreplex. As darling as he looks here after weeing on me - he's not!
 
piggieminder said:
Hello Friends,
I've been working on the air flow in my cage again. Hooman thinks I need a draught excluder because my cage is in the doorway to the kitchen where the window is often open. I disagree.

View attachment 273782View attachment 273783

I also got hooman really worried about my digestive system, she could only find one very small bit of cardboard. I'm on poop watch in case I'm blocked up. Nothing wrong with me! Hehe.

Love Bertie.
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Dear Bertie

How could your slave dare to cut you off from all the important food smells and noises!?! That is like a detention.

Sending my commiserations. My human sow complains about drafts in winter and heat coming from the kitchen in summer.
Any wheeking petitions to not close the lounge and kitchen doors have been unsuccessful since my human sow maintains we can still hear and smell all too well through two closed doors whenever the fridge or the garden door is being opened.

With a friendly rumble across the fence
Brangwyn
 
piggieminder said:
Dear Forum Friends,
My hooman had the cheek to call me diabolical because I empty my bottle instead of swallowing water I let it run down my body and soak my cage. I need a new mat at least once a day, they have to give me two bottles in case I run out of water!
I'm refusing to eat the new batch of hay that came last week, not good enough, they've had to order me a box of the expensive stuff. I knew I'd get my own way in the end. I've not ben feeling too well over the weekend, the vet lady says I have gas, whatever that is! Hooman just gave me some yucky orange stuff in a syringe and some food. I liked the food it tasted like my pellets but it was wet and in a syringe too. I got my own back for the orange stuff, I wiggled my bum off the towel and weed all down hooman's leg. :lol:
Love from Brillo.

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Note from hooman, orange stuff is Fibreplex. As darling as he looks here after weeing on me - he's not!
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Dear Brillo,

I approve of your water bottle shenanigans and I have been taking notes! I like to drink upside down from mine which gets water everywhere and my hooman has to change the pad underneath every day too. I consider that an achievement

I hope your tummy feels better soon. My uncle Tofu has a sore tummy and special syringe feed too. I like stealing his. I’d steal yours for you if you want to trick your hooman into thinking you’ve eaten more than you have (you should eat yours though. It’s a rare delicacy!)

My hooman keeps making noises about me going to see the plum fairy this week. I don’t know what that means but if I don’t like it I am preparing my diabolical plans for revenge.

Wheek wheek
Edamame
 
JaseChase said:
Dear Brillo,

I approve of your water bottle shenanigans and I have been taking notes! I like to drink upside down from mine which gets water everywhere and my hooman has to change the pad underneath every day too. I consider that an achievement

I hope your tummy feels better soon. My uncle Tofu has a sore tummy and special syringe feed too. I like stealing his. I’d steal yours for you if you want to trick your hooman into thinking you’ve eaten more than you have (you should eat yours though. It’s a rare delicacy!)

My hooman keeps making noises about me going to see the plum fairy this week. I don’t know what that means but if I don’t like it I am preparing my diabolical plans for revenge.

Wheek wheek
Edamame
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Dear Edamame

I am wishing you all the best for your meeting with the Plum Fairy. I have met her, only I can't remember anything about it apart from the fact that she lives in a vet clinic and that I was a bit uncomfy in my crotch when I woke up afterwards, so it must have been quite an encounter!

Mind you, I am not complaining because some weeks later I was invited by with the ladies next door to move in with them and I could chase them around as much as I wanted. They did rue somewhat that they had welcomed me but they eventually got used to me and my teenage antics.

Please let me know if you remember more about the Plum Fairy than me. It is a bit awkward when you cannot recall your wildest party ever.

Your mate Brangwyn
 
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