Lucinda. i definitely know what you mean. I'm the same at the moment with Oscar. the pain you get you cant describe. Its like hurt, missing and other things in one. I just wish i can see oscar again. :'(
I am so sorry Lucinda and Clare. It will get easier - I promise. It doesn't mean that you stop loving them or forget them because you will love and remember them till the day you die. Just keep their memory alive.
I know how you are feeling too. Its tough when you loose any piggy, but an extra special one is extra hard. The bigger their character the bigger the gap in your life. Have you thought of making yourself a photo album/scrap book with photos, drawings, the life story of Doctor, writing, poems and keep sakes etc for Doctor. I have found this a greeat comfort. I filled it with everything I knew about my Spam. And when I miss him I can get it out and there he is. Or the nearest thing I have to him. Also cuddling his friends when you feel sad and talking to them about him might help too.
I have got two scrapbooks / albums! The first I started for the three of them, when they arrived and all the things they did etc. It's got in it : photos, stories, comments, vet receipts, cards they received etc
Then when Dr died I made a new one with all my special memories of Dr in. So far I find it very hard to look at either of them. I also have an envelope of Dr's fur., which again I can't look at.
Thank you everyone for your support. This forum has helped so much, knowing there are people out there who instinctively understand. thanks everyone x