Men Issues

Status
Not open for further replies.

DoragonHinansho

Teenage Guinea Pig
Joined
May 5, 2015
Messages
840
Reaction score
992
Points
575
Location
Manchester, United Kingdom
Heya guys!

Had a rough weekend. Went away with my boyfriend to MCM comic con- something I've been looking forward to since October.

Long story short he ruined the whole thing by being a selfish dumb person (and that's seriously restraining myself) by complaining about ow bad the hotel was, the comic con was, saying how I should have booked a travelodge and stuff... Saying it was so bad but booking to go away to another con with his friend?! And he also tried to stop me from cospkaying, refusing to get up to go to the con and going on about "how we're not coming on Sunday to find REAL shops"

Not to mention he spend over 200 on comics; he started taking money from me despite I'm now jobless as some of you know... And then he decided to not tell me he as throwing up from a bug and guess who he passed that to! He wouldn't pay 20 to help me get us home early despite the fact I had started being sick and was very unwell. So I had to pay a grand total of about 80 pounds on train tickets and oysters! And was just being so selfish; at night he'd sit there on his tablet and watching TV and wouldn't let me pick anything, stealing sll the blankets and pillows for himself and a lot of other things.

And topping it off he was like "I earn 300 a week it's not enough I'm not paying to get home" maybe you shouldn't spend 200+ on comics and then order another 7 while you're here then?!

Feeling extremely upset over the whole thing as I was looking forward to it for so long; I never knew he could be like that. Looking at it now; the whole relationship has been on his terms (only going where he wants or seeing each other when he wants which is about once a month) and things... It's sad as I've been with him for three years but after this weekend I'm not keen on being together any more if that's what he's really like!

I'm just feeling really down in the dumps as everything's sort of happening at once; what with Cookie passing away; having to walk out of my job and now this. Ugh.

Please excuse my rant; you guys have been more support than anyone at this point and I just wanted to chat to someone about it!
 

Wally & Blaze

Junior Guinea Pig
Joined
Apr 29, 2015
Messages
38
Reaction score
39
Points
125
Location
Caerphilly
It's good to have a rant and get things off your chest, nothing worse than bottling it up so rant away x. All I can say about relationships is they should be equal, you are entitled to be happy and if your not then maybe it's time to move on, sending hugs x
 

nicky

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
2,449
Reaction score
1,682
Points
825
Location
south yorkshire
Its horrible when you spend so long looking forward to something and it all goes wrong. Life is to short to be unhappy. Hope you sort it out with your boyfriend one way or the other x
 

DoragonHinansho

Teenage Guinea Pig
Joined
May 5, 2015
Messages
840
Reaction score
992
Points
575
Location
Manchester, United Kingdom
I'm just not sure if I want to be with him if that's what he's really like deep down; you know?

I don't know what to do....but like... After that weekend...
 

katanamoon

Photo Competition Winner
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
2,304
Reaction score
3,350
Points
1,235
Location
Gloucester
Oh no! I'm sorry he ruined it for you, especially after you'd been looking forward to it for so long! I hope you feel better soon (I'm absolutely terrible with being sick) x
 

Critter

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
3,672
Reaction score
3,635
Points
1,265
Location
Derby, UK
Oh hun. They do say bad things happen in threes. I hope that this is now the start of an upturn for you. Only you know in your heart whether or not to call it quits. It can be a tough step to take but can actually be a relief. If you do stay together he would have to make changes, and to be honest most people do not really change, at least not much.

But this is the beginning of a new era for you. The end of the line for one job, and the start of something new for the future..... I hope that six months from now you will be able to look back on the first half of this year and see how life has changed for the better for you x
 

Critter

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
3,672
Reaction score
3,635
Points
1,265
Location
Derby, UK
I think it's that moment when the bubble bursts, when you see someone in a fresh light, for what they really are, and it's not what you thought. It's a horrid time.
It sounds wise to wait until the hurt has died down, but please don't start brushing things under the carpet and making excuses for him. I've been there, and done that. Of course there's give and take, and no-one is perfect, but when you want to know where to draw the line in the future, just look at how many times you feel low about something he has done. x
 

DoragonHinansho

Teenage Guinea Pig
Joined
May 5, 2015
Messages
840
Reaction score
992
Points
575
Location
Manchester, United Kingdom
It's just after this weekend; I've just realised the whole relationship has always been on his terms - always go to him, always go where he wants and what he wants. He wouldn't come if he didn't want to and things... And we only really see each other once a month.

It's really upsetting as we've been together for about three years...but then... Do I really know him at all because we don't even see each other? It's not enough to learn about a person...not really...
 

Critter

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
3,672
Reaction score
3,635
Points
1,265
Location
Derby, UK
You're a lovely and supportive person, that is clear, and someone who seems easy going enough to do what other people like to do, and I really like those traits in people, but the flip-side is that it's too easy to get stuck in a situation where you do all the giving. That's where my first relationship failed, that and the fact that he was controlling and paranoid.

My brother has similar traits in the giving and caring department, and I was always concerned that he would end up marrying a lady who demanded things of him all the time. He is now married to a lovely woman who is very much like he is, so neither of them take advantage of the other, because they are both sweet and giving :)

You deserve a giving and supportive man, and I promise you they're out there! Just need to take a look (when you're ready) at you current bf's true attitude towards you.
 

DoragonHinansho

Teenage Guinea Pig
Joined
May 5, 2015
Messages
840
Reaction score
992
Points
575
Location
Manchester, United Kingdom
Thank you. It's been nice to just chat to people and see how things go.

Id feel so bad breaking up with him but then...I really don't feel the same. He did say how he didn't mean it but... He kept carrying on. I'll wait a couple of weeks and then see how I feel.
 

Kerrie74

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
4,870
Reaction score
3,998
Points
1,185
Location
Nottingham, England
I have been single for 10 or more years and have I missed being in a relationship? not at all. I'm like you, or I was, overly nice, accommodating, always trying to make them happy, not looking after myself or taking my own feelings into consideration etc. but after what a man did to me the other year I sat and did some thinking and realised it wasn't me, that it was the men I've been with, yes I do have my faults but I've never used or abused anyone, I hate lying, really bad at it and I hate to be lied to.

I think you need to sit and think about your OWN feelings and about how he's treated you, never mind him, if your not happy and your feeling like he's taking you for a prize pillock then your best bet is to get out of the relationship, you have enough problems without a man bringing you down. Look after yourself and your health first.

It's the kind of thing that has given me social anxiety.

I hope you manage to get out of the situation or at least sort it out so he doesn't treat you like a bit of poop any more.
 

Kerrie74

Adult Guinea Pig
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
4,870
Reaction score
3,998
Points
1,185
Location
Nottingham, England
I don't see anyone doing that @BossHogg in fact I get on with men better than I do woman, plus there was nothing wrong with my old Dad :) he was a brilliant Dad and partner :) I just happen to be crap finding the right man lol, so I choose to stay single ;)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top