Mixed gender bonding - can I leave them alone yet?

[Olivitree]

Hello all,
Currently bonding my old lady Raisin with a nervous neutered young lad, Mooli.
I believe she is 6 or 7, he is about 1 year. No specific reason for that choice bar I wanted a boy, and he was the only one I seemed to be able to get vaguely in our area.

I am really struggling to read their bonding, it’s like nothing I’ve seen before.
It’s very sporadic, which I would see as fairly good, they’ve eaten, drunk and slept together(at a distance mostly but once laid down right next to each other, she did nip his ear the first time but he didn’t care), I’ve put hides in because nothing seemed to be escalating. But every time he tries to mount her she’s not having it and turns round to give him what for but he lets it across the cage away from her. Could that escalate further if he pushes his luck? I’m not sure if he would he’s such a nervous guy, think he had a bad run in with his cage mate and why he ended up in rescue, he has an old wound of a badly torn ear, presumably from fighting.

Boars for me in the past have been absolutely randy nightmares, but luckily were with accepting sows, or just total gentlemen who just weren’t that interested in bothering their sows and just want to hang out. I kind of have a mix here that I’m not use to. Sow that refuses to accept a mount, but also a boar who takes no for an answer and runs away.
It doesn’t feel as stable as what I’ve had before.

Is my old lady likely to get fed up and flip out on him, or could he get frustrated with his advances being turned down and we have a fight, or is this just going to be the status quo?

Generally they don’t interact much at all, until he tries to mount her, and she tells him off, he backs off and goes and sulks a few feet away for a while, maybe they eat drink or nap, then rinse repeat, and that’s how it’s been since last night (had them together for about 6 hours then separated them so I could go to bed because I was exhausted, they’re back together again and they are behaving exactly the same.)

This is a weird bonding session and it is stressing me out, please help is this fine, are they happy enough, can I stop watching them like a hawk?

 

[Wiebke]

Hello all,
Currently bonding my old lady Raisin with a nervous neutered young lad, Mooli.
I believe she is 6 or 7, he is about 1 year. No specific reason for that choice bar I wanted a boy, and he was the only one I seemed to be able to get vaguely in our area.

I am really struggling to read their bonding, it’s like nothing I’ve seen before.
It’s very sporadic, which I would see as fairly good, they’ve eaten, drunk and slept together(at a distance mostly but once laid down right next to each other, she did nip his ear the first time but he didn’t care), I’ve put hides in because nothing seemed to be escalating. But every time he tries to mount her she’s not having it and turns round to give him what for but he lets it across the cage away from her. Could that escalate further if he pushes his luck? I’m not sure if he would he’s such a nervous guy, think he had a bad run in with his cage mate and why he ended up in rescue, he has an old wound of a badly torn ear, presumably from fighting.

Boars for me in the past have been absolutely randy nightmares, but luckily were with accepting sows, or just total gentlemen who just weren’t that interested in bothering their sows and just want to hang out. I kind of have a mix here that I’m not use to. Sow that refuses to accept a mount, but also a boar who takes no for an answer and runs away.
It doesn’t feel as stable as what I’ve had before.

Is my old lady likely to get fed up and flip out on him, or could he get frustrated with his advances being turned down and we have a fight, or is this just going to be the status quo?

Generally they don’t interact much at all, until he tries to mount her, and she tells him off, he backs off and goes and sulks a few feet away for a while, maybe they eat drink or nap, then rinse repeat, and that’s how it’s been since last night (had them together for about 6 hours then separated them so I could go to bed because I was exhausted, they’re back together again and they are behaving exactly the same.)

This is a weird bonding session and it is stressing me out, please help is this fine, are they happy enough, can I stop watching them like a hawk?

How are they when they are eating?

She's either the dominance 'keep your distance' or acceptance has not happened but unfortunately I cannot tell. Keep a casual eye on the from a distance or see how they are in the cage and whether it works out or not.

 

[Olivitree]

How are they when they are eating?

She's either the dominance 'keep your distance' or acceptance has not happened but unfortunately I cannot tell. Keep a casual eye on the from a distance or see how they are in the cage and whether it works out or not.

Mooli pinched her lettuce a couple of times and she just let him, nobody is really guarding anything that I can see(except maybe her favourite treat but he doesn’t even like those so wasn’t trying to steal it, I think he was just trying to mount her again and she wasn’t having it), she’s just guarding her bum from him as far as I can tell, she was pushing him off his spots on the hay and trying to steal food out of his mouth initially but he didn’t care and just moved if she sniffed him a bit too intently.

They are currently in their cage they’re going to be living in together, no scuffles, the attempted mounting and turning round to tell him off has slowed down a bit since last night, she’s not really rumble strutting or anything but she is quite old and doesn’t like moving around much so maybe just can’t be bothered? Most dominance I could see from her was trying to nose/groom his face/chin, or stick her nose in his side to sniff him very closely but he moved off when she got a bit too intense, that was last night, not really seen any of that today. They’re just been sleeping in separate hides, or she’s been in a hide and Mooli has been sleeping next to the one she’s in.

Really struggling to get a read it’s so, neutral/non interactive, except if he gets a bit too forward.
Edit: no teeth chattering, no intense or ramping up annoyed squealing just a quick turn around "stop that" noise sort of correction.

 

[Wiebke]

Mooli pinched her lettuce a couple of times and she just let him, nobody is really guarding anything that I can see(except maybe her favourite treat but he doesn’t even like those so wasn’t trying to steal it, I think he was just trying to mount her again and she wasn’t having it), she’s just guarding her bum from him as far as I can tell, she was pushing him off his spots on the hay and trying to steal food out of his mouth initially but he didn’t care and just moved if she sniffed him a bit too intently.

They are currently in their cage they’re going to be living in together, no scuffles, the attempted mounting and turning round to tell him off has slowed down a bit since last night, she’s not really rumble strutting or anything but she is quite old and doesn’t like moving around much so maybe just can’t be bothered? Most dominance I could see from her was trying to nose/groom his face/chin, or stick her nose in his side to sniff him very closely but he moved off when she got a bit too intense, that was last night, not really seen any of that today. They’re just been sleeping in separate hides, or she’s been in a hide and Mooli has been sleeping next to the one she’s in.

Really struggling to get a read it’s so, neutral/non interactive, except if he gets a bit too forward.
Edit: no teeth chattering, no intense or ramping up annoyed squealing just a quick turn around "stop that" noise sort of correction.

There is no aggression in it, so I would recommend that you take a deep breath and just let them get on work things out for themselves. Your lady is quite obviously very much in control and your youngster is fighting to keep his hormonal urges under control until he is allowed to penetrate her personal sphere, which can take a few weeks. But it sounds to me rather like they have a bond; if a very hierarchical one.

 

[Olivitree]

That helps a lot to hear, I will definitely attempt to keep my anxiety in check and not hover over them the whole time, I’m sure I’m not helping him relax as he’s not a people pig at all really, unless you’re my husband with lettuce not me though of course. I am just not use to such a massive age gap and contrasting temperaments I suppose! Having said all this they are now sat side by side one eating hay the other eating dry food, so perhaps they’re settling a bit more even just in the last half an hour or so.

Bit pointless now probably, but if of interest, I managed to get a video of one of these "bog off I’m not interested" interactions, excuse the washing machine being the noisiest thing in the universe in the background. - YouTube

 

[Wiebke]

That helps a lot to hear, I will definitely attempt to keep my anxiety in check and not hover over them the whole time, I’m sure I’m not helping him relax as he’s not a people pig at all really, unless you’re my husband with lettuce not me though of course. I am just not use to such a massive age gap and contrasting temperaments I suppose! Having said all this they are now sat side by side one eating hay the other eating dry food, so perhaps they’re settling a bit more even just in the last half an hour or so.

Bit pointless now probably, but if of interest, I managed to get a video of one of these "bog off I’m not interested" interactions, excuse the washing machine being the noisiest thing in the universe in the background. - YouTube

There is no aggression in it; she just wants him to keep his distance while his boarly feelings are still rampant (although he is obviously not over-sexed) but there are no red flags for me in the video. Just let them get on with working out the rules of their relationship.

I've had the odd 'toy boy' bonding but it has usually ended in a very dedicated relationship unless it was a clear fail right from the start; the same as an older boar with a baby wifelet.