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Still Feeling Guilty 4 Months After Guinea Pigs Death

Myspecialpigs

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In the summer I went on a two week holiday with my family at the time we had 2 guinea pigs-Sooty almost 4 and peanut almost 3 when I left they both right as rain squeaking and being there general selves I left with my trust neighbor who has her own guinea pigs who have lived very long lives.

When I came back sooty who I'd like to add was so close who jumped to me if he was on another person and loved me and I love him dearly anyway when I.came back he was breathing strangely we watched him closely for the rest of the day and he was no better at night I woke up to my mum rushing him to the vet she came back and the vet said he has a cold I was happy because it was not fatal the next couple of days he was no better with medication so I went back to the vets she gave and him an X RAY. But no asnestic because he was just lying down where ver he was. He was weak. They found bits of pneumonia in his lungs and said if these meds don't work there's nothing we can do. We went home and tried to feed him some purayed food we got from them the vets he wasn't eating it so I put on my finger and he licked it a bit I sat with him on the sofa from 3 to 1 in the he morning in this time we whizzed up his favourite fruits into a smoothie which he eat after I go my duvet so did my mum and we slept in the lounge while he layer in a box with blankets and my cushion I went to sleep cuz I was tired at three my mum shouted my name saying immie it took me a minute to realise becseue it was all a rush and I ran upstairs to my dad and said something's wrong with sooty I got downstairs and he was barely breathing he died there in my arms. I feel as thought if I had been quicker getting up he would be alive and that if I hadn't gone on holiday and enhjoyed myself he would be alive-yes I'm crying and I also feel guilt because at the time I was going through an awful lot of social media drama and I cried so much that day but then I saw topped it's like blocked out and I just didn't feel anything any more even we we got some friends for my other guinea pig the magic was gone. I feel guilty like it wa smear of me not to cry more but even thought the magic has come back with my guiena pigs I still feel so guilty and cry so much at night I just dint know what to do . Please help
 

lillypiggy1982

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Please, don’t blame yourself. You stayed up with him for hours, you clearly loved him dearly. He was taken to the vets and you tried everything you could do. It’s not your fault that your little one couldn’t pull through! Rest in peace, Sooty. :(
 

sport_billy

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Hello.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Guilt is a feeling we get when we are grieving, it is not a reasonable thing to feel - as you have done nothing to feel guilty about.
Your piggy would have got ill even if you were there, nothing would have changed this. I too have lost a piggy to pneumonia there is nothing you can do. You really did all you could.

You gave Sooty a wonderful life and he was obviously very loved. So try to remember that when you are upset about Sooty, he had a wonderful life with you and your parents.
 

Lady Kelly

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Oh bless you lovely, all I can do is echo everyone else's comment that you did nothing wrong. If you hadn't gotten him to a vet he wouldn't have lived as long as he did. I went through this early last year with my Isobel who developed pneumonia (she had dental problems and an abscess already), like you I rushed her to the vets and started meds and carried on regular syringe feeds, I also drove an hour to the top vet in the country to get her further treatment on the Monday (first signs of pneumonia was Friday). Despite all this she died in my arms that Monday night. Unfortunately, there are times that all the vet care and medications in the world are not going to be enough to save our companions and it's always painful doesn't matter how old they are or we are. I balled my eyes out that night I lost Isobel, she wasn't the first to go and she wasn't particularly old, but it still hurts even though I know that the only other thing I could have done was perform a miracle.

That said, guilt is a stage in the grieving process. Something we all have to go through each time we grieve and is often linked with a million and one "what if?" Sceneraios being played out in our minds. This stage will not last forever and while the loss of someone close to us (human or otherwise) does not lessen over time we do learn to cope with it better.
 

Wiebke

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In the summer I went on a two week holiday with my family at the time we had 2 guinea pigs-Sooty almost 4 and peanut almost 3 when I left they both right as rain squeaking and being there general selves I left with my trust neighbor who has her own guinea pigs who have lived very long lives.

When I came back sooty who I'd like to add was so close who jumped to me if he was on another person and loved me and I love him dearly anyway when I.came back he was breathing strangely we watched him closely for the rest of the day and he was no better at night I woke up to my mum rushing him to the vet she came back and the vet said he has a cold I was happy because it was not fatal the next couple of days he was no better with medication so I went back to the vets she gave and him an X RAY. But no asnestic because he was just lying down where ver he was. He was weak. They found bits of pneumonia in his lungs and said if these meds don't work there's nothing we can do. We went home and tried to feed him some purayed food we got from them the vets he wasn't eating it so I put on my finger and he licked it a bit I sat with him on the sofa from 3 to 1 in the he morning in this time we whizzed up his favourite fruits into a smoothie which he eat after I go my duvet so did my mum and we slept in the lounge while he layer in a box with blankets and my cushion I went to sleep cuz I was tired at three my mum shouted my name saying immie it took me a minute to realise becseue it was all a rush and I ran upstairs to my dad and said something's wrong with sooty I got downstairs and he was barely breathing he died there in my arms. I feel as thought if I had been quicker getting up he would be alive and that if I hadn't gone on holiday and enhjoyed myself he would be alive-yes I'm crying and I also feel guilt because at the time I was going through an awful lot of social media drama and I cried so much that day but then I saw topped it's like blocked out and I just didn't feel anything any more even we we got some friends for my other guinea pig the magic was gone. I feel guilty like it wa smear of me not to cry more but even thought the magic has come back with my guiena pigs I still feel so guilty and cry so much at night I just dint know what to do . Please help
Hi and welcome

I am very sorry for your pain. You have not killed Sooty; he was already a VERY ill piggy when he was seen by your vet. It is not your fault; you have done all the right things and everything a good owner should do. You've have taken him to the vet, cared for him, stayed up with him for as long as you could.
Sooty had what he craved most - your full love. He left carried by the wings of your love. Do you know what precious gift you have given him? He could not have wished for more. You could NOT have done anything more for him! Only God can heal, but none of us is God. We can only do our best, as you have done.

We all have feelings of failure and guilt when one of our beloved piggies dies; that is normal for the onset of the grieving process. There is always the stage when we go through all the 'what ifs' and 'if I had onlys'.
In fact, having lost one of my own piggies over Christmas and not being able to prevent her from going downhill so quickly with an issue that was incurable, I am going through this phase right now myself. Like you, I've been getting up and staying up through the last two nights to syringe feed and support as much as I could.

That is all that is needed. You should not feel guilty over what is our of your control. Where you could make a difference, you have made a difference. You have cared for Sooty and have loved him. The rest is in God's, not your or my hands.

If you have never experienced death before, then you have had a very rough introduction. All the signs that you have reported mean that his body had likely already started to close down when your vet saw him (being cold and apathetic). Pneumonia can be a killing disease and develop in a matter of hours, even with the best of care and prompt medication as many of our long term owners on here can testify. :(

There are two things you can do. One to research for a free pet bereavement phone line where you are. Many places now have them. I have added the UK link. These lines are generally manned by specially trained volunteers. They are confidential. Talking about your feelings is the best way to deal with them in a way that allows you to be sad about Sooty's death without feeling like you have caused it, which you haven't. But you need to hear that a bit more often and from different people, I think.
Grieving is not something you can hurry on. Sometimes we get stuck on a snag; you are not the only one who has fallen into the guilt trap. Please go and seek somebody who can talk you out of it and help you over this pernicious part. All the forum members that have done this (usually with apprehension) have had a good experience and it has really helped them. ;)
UK: SupportLine - Problems: Pet Bereavement: Advice, support and information

The other thing is to start an album with pictures and all your memories of Sooty, the little and big ones, as they come into your mind. That helps you to regain the love and the good times you have had together. By writing all your precious memories down, you will never again lose the 'happy' Sooty! You will be amazed how much of him is still there with you if you are willing to look for him and to find him - and to make eventually peace with his last few days at the end of several good years. It is a process that will take some time. Your soul is hurting; it needs time to heal, too.
 

Freela

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself. You obviously loved Sooty very much and did everything possible to care for him during his illness. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is not to be. Please don't beat yourself up for what happened. Grieving the loss of a pet is totally legitimate and I'm not saying not to grieve or to miss him, but please try not to blame yourself. ((HUGS.))
 

VickiA

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I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with the loss of Sooty. You have absolutely nothing to reproach yourself for. You did everything right. And you loved, cherished & cared for him to the end. Sometimes we and all the Vet care in the world can’t save a sick piggy. It’s just their time - but it’s very hard to accept it. Try to remember him at his glorious best and not as he was at the end. And remember all the good times you had with him. This was not your fault x
 
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