Dear Stripe
How very dare your Slave call you a fat hamster! What an insult! We Guinea pigs are noble creatures unlike those tiny scraps of rodentkind hamsters! Just who does you Slave think she is?!?
Show your Slave that you not put up with being insulted!
To do this you must:-
- Turn your bum on your Slave whenever she approaches you.
- Play the fun game that is "Catch me if you can" when Slave wants/needs to pick you up.
- Execute judo kicks when she is trying to give you a cuddle/health check/the dreaded claw clip.
I know you may find some of my advice difficult to follow, but needs must!
Stay strong.
Your friend in a crisis
Miss Bramble
Shop Steward