The founding of the GPFANS

[Viennese Furbabies]

Dear fellow forum piggies!
We have had a herd meeting last night, while our slave was asleep, to discuss the fact, that the GPU has granted us with extensive nipping rights or the quadruple-0-licence, as we like to call it.
Since joining this forum last May we have learned that a lot of piggies on this forum are subject to mistreatment and neglect by their slaves.
So we decided to form a task force to help other forum piggies who are either reluctant to nip their owners themselves or are not able to due to teeth problems etc.:
the GUINEA PIG FAST ACTION NIPPING SQUAD
(Mind the capital letters!)

The GPFANS will react swiflty to calls for help of other forum piggies.
Here you see the founding members of the GPFANS:

from left to right:
00003 - Odi - fast action squad leader, sometimes a bit over motivated, so be prepared for over the top actions
00004 - Bonny - nipper in training
00001 - Tessy - lead nipper and chief trainer
00002 - Billie - consultant and emergency coordinator (a pacifist at heart, so no active nipper)
00005 - Vicky - nipper in training

Since we are located in continental Europe and most forum piggies live in the UK, US, Australia ..., we are looking for further members to help us act fast when nipping is required.
We accept guinea pigs that are granted the right to nip by the GPU or piggies who go through our training course.
But be aware that this training will not be for the faint-hearted!
The training course will last approx. 2 months and include different biting techniques, how to look really innocent, fast nipping, but also important subjects like sleeping on the job, nipping while eating etc.
With a bit of luck we will be able to interest Ruby in giving a guest lecture.

Applications can be sent to [email protected].
Lot's of wheeks
Tessy, Billie, Odi, Bonny & Vicky

 

[LucyP]

Very good idea. Guest lecture from Ruby would be amazing.

Betty says if she can make time in her very important schedule, she’d be willing to give a zoom talk to other pigs called ‘Acceptable waiting times before nipping humans who are too slow to hand you the food’. (spoiler alert, the answer is 0.5 seconds).

 

[Engel]

I love how they all seem to be putting on their toughest faces, then there's Billie who looks so sweet and innocent. Obvious no nipper.

 

[VickiA]

No one is fooled by those cute faces. Nipping squad we offer you the respect you deserve.

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Very good idea. Guest lecture from Ruby would be amazing.

Betty says if she can make time in her very important schedule, she’d be willing to give a zoom talk to other pigs called ‘Acceptable waiting times before nipping humans who are too slow to hand you the food’. (spoiler alert, the answer is 0.5 seconds).

Thank you, Betty! It would be great if you could find the time to give a guest lecture.
We will include your subject in our curriculum.

 

[Countrylass]

Lexi says drat, that husboar of mine had to popcorn over the bridge to nip the hoomans over there leaving us ladies defenceless. Here he is after a hard day nipping that pesky hooman on her nose, forehead, lips and chin:



Unfortunately that didn't stop her from wanting more nipping from him so we really need your help GPFANS especially as she is stealing kisses from all of us now, even the children!

 

[Bill & Ted]

My friend Ginger likes to give slave a nip if she’s had enough or the sofa treats have run out, when the grubs gone then no more Mrs Nice Ginger! I’m a rather sly nipper when things don’t suit, my ploy is to look beautiful and relaxed and give slave a nip on the chest or arm when she not carrying me back to my cage in a timely manner, I.e. promptly
Love Ginger and Posh xx
Those other two Kiki and Hector are useless they lick slave to death, haven’t a clue, great candidates for nipper training

 

[Merab]

Hello, Priscilla here. I am very interested in the GPFANS.I am is very skilled at nipping and pulling any clothing but a bit of a wimp when it comes to actual nipping. I keep worrying that treats and snacks might be withdrawn.
I would appreciate any help.
I also thinks Phoebe needs some help.
Despite being abused by our slave and forced to take yucky medicine she won’t nip.
Thank you.
Priscilla

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Lexi says drat, that husboar of mine had to popcorn over the bridge to nip the hoomans over there leaving us ladies defenceless. Here he is after a hard day nipping that pesky hooman on her nose, forehead, lips and chin:

View attachment 195089

Unfortunately that didn't stop her from wanting more nipping from him so we really need your help GPFANS especially as she is stealing kisses from all of us now, even the children!

We know what you mean. Husboars can be so useless.

Your slave really sounds dangerous!
While we are still working on our logistics and the training courses, we would recommend to tell your slave to be really careful.
You never know when the GPFANS will strike. We are fast, we are quiet and we nip hard.

Maybe this will put her off for a while from trying to kiss you.
Good luck!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

My friend Ginger likes to give slave a nip if she’s had enough or the sofa treats have run out, when the grubs gone then no more Mrs Nice Ginger! I’m a rather sly nipper when things don’t suit, my ploy is to look beautiful and relaxed and give slave a nip on the chest or arm when she not carrying me back to my cage in a timely manner, I.e. promptly
Love Ginger and Posh xx
Those other two Kiki and Hector are useless they lick slave to death, haven’t a clue, great candidates for nipper training

View attachment 195090

Dear Ginger and Posh,
you are exactely the kind of recruits, we are looking for. And since fast action seems to be asked for in quite a few cases, we will contact you asap for further details about GPFANS training.
We are counting on you!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Hello, Priscilla here. I am very interested in the GPFANS.I am is very skilled at nipping and pulling any clothing but a bit of a wimp when it comes to actual nipping. I keep worrying that treats and snacks might be withdrawn.
I would appreciate any help.
I also thinks Phoebe needs some help.
Despite being abused by our slave and forced to take yucky medicine she won’t nip.
Thank you.
Priscilla

Hello Priscilla,
we are working on building up a support system for all forum piggies who are a bit reluctant to do actual nipping. It does take a bit of time to get used to it. We can understand that.
At the moment we can give you a bit of advice that always works and will help you and Phoebe to get over your fears.

If you have trained your slave to hand feed you, that's great. If not, you should act a bit poorly. Not too much, you don't want to end up with a syringe stuck in your mouth, but just a little bit to get your slaves full attention.
And when she hands you a piece of cucumber or bell pepper, close your eyes, imagine your biting into the veggies and aim for the finger.
You will be rewarded by a loud scream. And once your first nip is accomplished, it gets easier and easier.
You just have to be careful to look really innocent and humble afterwards.
Good luck!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[weepweeps]

We may have to use this service if we are ever in need of some nips for our slave. So far she’s been a good’un. So we haven’t had any need to nip her (yet).

Love Percy and Pepper
Not nipping pigs

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

We may have to use this service if we are ever in need of some nips for our slave. So far she’s been a good’un. So we haven’t had any need to nip her (yet).

Love Percy and Pepper
Not nipping pigs

Good to hear that there are some slaves out there who don't need nipping. But we are here for you if you ever need a good nip for your slave.
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Bill & Ted]

Dear Ginger and Posh,
you are exactely the kind of recruits, we are looking for. And since fast action seems to be asked for in quite a few cases, we will contact you asap for further details about GPFANS training.
We are counting on you!
Wheeks Tessy

We will await your call
Love Ginger and Posh

 

[Flutterby]

 

[Freela]

"Please accept my application. I often nip at my humans. They seem not to like this, but I persist. To prove my credentials, please know that my nickname at home is "Bad Pig," so you know I'm the real deal."
Sincerely, Tomie.

 

[Eriathwen]

Dear GPFANS! I have an urgent situation at present. My hooman did something absolutely unforgivable today..I was hoping my new mummy didn't know about those things called baths, after all, I've been here a while now and never got one. But do you know what she did!? That's right! I got a bath! Not any old bath either, apparently it was something called an antifungal bath, and she called me a mouldy old man...I dont know what that means, but I dont think it's very nice!

Now, being the lovely boy that I am, and of the elderly persuasion, it is beneath me to nip these days, the best I could manage was some headbutts to her arm but I felt bad so I also started grooming her hands, I mean, it's only fair isn't it if she can groom me?

Please send your best squad of nippers as soon as convenient, veg is at 6 if you would like to be rewarded with dinner! Or at 9 for snacks and pellets

Warmest regards
His royal Highness, Sir Gus (Gusgus if you wish to be informal)

 

[weepweeps]

Hope they come to your aid ASAP Gusgus.

 

[Betsy]

Dear GPFANS! I have an urgent situation at present. My hooman did something absolutely unforgivable today..I was hoping my new mummy didn't know about those things called baths, after all, I've been here a while now and never got one. But do you know what she did!? That's right! I got a bath! Not any old bath either, apparently it was something called an antifungal bath, and she called me a mouldy old man...I dont know what that means, but I dont think it's very nice!

Now, being the lovely boy that I am, and of the elderly persuasion, it is beneath me to nip these days, the best I could manage was some headbutts to her arm but I felt bad so I also started grooming her hands, I mean, it's only fair isn't it if she can groom me?

Please send your best squad of nippers as soon as convenient, veg is at 6 if you would like to be rewarded with dinner! Or at 9 for snacks and pellets

Warmest regards
His royal Highness, Sir Gus (Gusgus if you wish to be informal)

View attachment 195208

The One and Only Thea (Shop Steward) has read about your plight Sir Gus and has written to the GPU on your behalf.

Dear GPU

Sir Gus has been given a bath! Not just any bath which is bad enough but this was "an antifungal bath", his Slave called him a "Mouldy old man" and then posted a picture of his wet body for the whole world to see . The cheek! Sir Gus is in his Twilight years so should be afforded the respect that age and wisdom bring. He is such a lovely boy that the only complaint he made was to headbutt her arm but then felt so guilty about this that he started grooming her to say sorry. He has already asked for the assistance of GPFANS and I thought a letter to the GPU wouldn't go amiss either.

Yours hoping for respect for all piggies regardless of age.
The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward

 

[Swissgreys]

Dear Tessy and other Member Piggies,

I am thrilled to see this wonderful society established.
We piggies need to stick together and share our gift and talents.

I am deeply honoured to be suggested as a guest speaker, and would be more than happy to prepare a speech on slave nipping - something which I am indeed rather good at.
Just a quick tip for the novice nippers out there - 'Selectivity = Success'.
To be a successful nipper you must nip selectively.
There is no point rushing around and biting everyone - you need to pick one slave at least that you never nip and are always delightfully relaxed with.
That way when you do nip the other slaves, your chosen slave will leap to your defence and sneak you extra treats to compensate for the mean slaves who accuse you of nipping.

I look forward to further discussions on this important topic.

Love Ruby xx

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

"Please accept my application. I often nip at my humans. They seem not to like this, but I persist. To prove my credentials, please know that my nickname at home is "Bad Pig," so you know I'm the real deal."
Sincerely, Tomie.

Dear Tomie,
consider yourself part of the team. Details about the training will be sent to you as soon as WE have the curriculum ready.
Welcome to GPFANS!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Dear GPFANS! I have an urgent situation at present. My hooman did something absolutely unforgivable today..I was hoping my new mummy didn't know about those things called baths, after all, I've been here a while now and never got one. But do you know what she did!? That's right! I got a bath! Not any old bath either, apparently it was something called an antifungal bath, and she called me a mouldy old man...I dont know what that means, but I dont think it's very nice!

Now, being the lovely boy that I am, and of the elderly persuasion, it is beneath me to nip these days, the best I could manage was some headbutts to her arm but I felt bad so I also started grooming her hands, I mean, it's only fair isn't it if she can groom me?

Please send your best squad of nippers as soon as convenient, veg is at 6 if you would like to be rewarded with dinner! Or at 9 for snacks and pellets

Warmest regards
His royal Highness, Sir Gus (Gusgus if you wish to be informal)

View attachment 195208

Dear Sir Gus,
I can heardly believe what I had to read. That's a top prioity emergency! I just can't believe that any slave could be so cruel to force a guinea pig into a full bath. Paw baths are bad enough.
We will send our best team asap.
Tell your slave to prepare a good veg dinner!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Uups, of course I meant, tell your slave to be prepared.

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Dear Tessy and other Member Piggies,

I am thrilled to see this wonderful society established.
We piggies need to stick together and share our gift and talents.

I am deeply honoured to be suggested as a guest speaker, and would be more than happy to prepare a speech on slave nipping - something which I am indeed rather good at.
Just a quick tip for the novice nippers out there - 'Selectivity = Success'.
To be a successful nipper you must nip selectively.
There is no point rushing around and biting everyone - you need to pick one slave at least that you never nip and are always delightfully relaxed with.
That way when you do nip the other slaves, your chosen slave will leap to your defence and sneak you extra treats to compensate for the mean slaves who accuse you of nipping.

I look forward to further discussions on this important topic.

Love Ruby xx

View attachment 195217

Dear Ruby,
we are honoured to have you as part of our training team. All of us can learn a lot from your wisdom!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

The One and Only Thea (Shop Steward) has read about your plight Sir Gus and has written to the GPU on your behalf.

Dear GPU

Sir Gus has been given a bath! Not just any bath which is bad enough but this was "an antifungal bath", his Slave called him a "Mouldy old man" and then posted a picture of his wet body for the whole world to see . The cheek! Sir Gus is in his Twilight years so should be afforded the respect that age and wisdom bring. He is such a lovely boy that the only complaint he made was to headbutt her arm but then felt so guilty about this that he started grooming her to say sorry. He has already asked for the assistance of GPFANS and I thought a letter to the GPU wouldn't go amiss either.

Yours hoping for respect for all piggies regardless of age.
The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward

Always best to work from all possible angles.
Thank you, the One and Only Thea!
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Merab]

Dear GPFANS! I have an urgent situation at present. My hooman did something absolutely unforgivable today..I was hoping my new mummy didn't know about those things called baths, after all, I've been here a while now and never got one. But do you know what she did!? That's right! I got a bath! Not any old bath either, apparently it was something called an antifungal bath, and she called me a mouldy old man...I dont know what that means, but I dont think it's very nice!

Now, being the lovely boy that I am, and of the elderly persuasion, it is beneath me to nip these days, the best I could manage was some headbutts to her arm but I felt bad so I also started grooming her hands, I mean, it's only fair isn't it if she can groom me?

Please send your best squad of nippers as soon as convenient, veg is at 6 if you would like to be rewarded with dinner! Or at 9 for snacks and pellets

Warmest regards
His royal Highness, Sir Gus (Gusgus if you wish to be informal)

View attachment 195208

The expression on that cute face

 

[Countrylass]

Dear GPFANS, I told my hooman that she should be careful otherwise you would be coming to get her and she got all misty eyed and started reminiscing about a piglet called Izwig who used to barber her chin and nip her lips to the point of drawing blood I think she would enjoy stealing kisses from you while you nipped her - she is quite dangerous as she lures us in with yummy hay and then pounces!

 

[Viennese Furbabies]

Dear GPFANS, I told my hooman that she should be careful otherwise you would be coming to get her and she got all misty eyed and started reminiscing about a piglet called Izwig who used to barber her chin and nip her lips to the point of drawing blood I think she would enjoy stealing kisses from you while you nipped her - she is quite dangerous as she lures us in with yummy hay and then pounces!

Thank you for the warning!
This job is really dangerous.
Wheeks Tessy

 

[Betsy]

Dear Odi, Billie, Tessy, Bonny and Vicky

I just thought I'd write to you with some feedback on the GPFANS Correspondence Course I took earlier in the week. It was very good and works!

Betsy had soft poops at on Monday so Slave withdrew all veg from Betsy until her tummy settled down. The problem was she withdrew all veg from me too as she said it wasn't fair on Betsy if I smelled of veg when she couldn't have any. I did not think this was right at all! Why was I being punished when there was nothing wrong with my tum? Anyway at veg time tonight (at last!) before Slave could even scatter feed the veg, I was straight over to the bowl and I nipped her quickly on the thumb! Not so much that it hurt too much or broke the skin but enough to let her know I was very unhappy with the harsh way I had been treated. She thought it was because I was excited to have veg again (my Slave isn't that bright you know) but we all know why I nipped her don't we?

Wheaks
Meg

 

[weepweeps]

Dear Meg,

I think the “Shy Little Meg” name is no longer appropriate. Apparently you wheak really loudly and now you nip! You go girl. Getting sassy in your later years.