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The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

So, Bann has always been a bit of a dolt. I mean I love him to bits but there's very little between his ears, y'know? And he's always had a bit of a complaint shriek going on, you'd be forgiven for thinking he's being tortured or murdered listening to him.

For a while it was a bit worrying because it's not nice to hear, but at this point I figure it's just how he is. He was doing it last night, stopped when I went to check it out, then every time I said his name, so maybe 4 times, he replied to me in that same upset complaint wheek. Cam's probably responsible for winding him up again.

And then this morning it was incessant, but I knew Cam had been at it again so I went in to offer him a pea flake in commiseration and he ran at me, grabbed the pea flake, and then...zoomies. Three times. He'd come over for the flake, snatch it like the little bitey shark he is, and then run off and do zoomies.

🤨

I have never seen Bann do the zoomies thing before.

I was right, this is definitely how horror movies start.
 
I've been trying to drink less sugar, since that's something like 80% of my daily calorie count. Since the water is vile, I figured swapping to a sugar free Cola is the way forward. I'm not a massive fan of the taste of artificial sweeteners but I find they taste better when they're not mixed with sugar and I don't like stevia at all so that's most store brand stuff out. Pepsi Max tastes better than Coke Zero so it was an easy decision.

Since this started BTW I've twice woken up with my brain going "LOW BLOOD SUGAR ALERT ALERT FIX IT NOW" which is why I was eating jelly babies and knocking a can of Coke into me at 6am yesterday. Who'd have thought swapping every other can out could cause so much havoc?

I just wanted to rant about that one, sorry lol. But. Coke's cans always come in a cardboard sleeve or box, right? So this was annoying me slightly because Pepsi does not, it still uses a plastic wrap...with a cardboard tray. Yes, Cam has a tray again! He's loving it. He's less loving Bann perching on it while he's underneath it but considering how many times he's done the same thing to Bann in bed recently I'm not particularly inclined to intervene haha.
 
Mealtimes (aka Chaotica)

Cam's there first, gets celery, drops it, insists I must have something better. Nope.

Can finally takes celery as Bann runs over because how dare I feed Cam first. Bann arrives, then stands there. I go to move my hand away and he follows it with the unsaid message "don't you bloody dare!" His mouth is full. He can't grab celery til he's finished chewing hay.

He finally takes his piece right as Cam's finished his mouthful but his celery ran away. It actually didn't, it's at his feet, but in his brain, it's missing. You know what isn't missing? Whatever Bann's chewing on!

Special mention goes to Bann doing the same with his pellets last night, and them both getting parsley yesterday and backing away so That Other One can't steal it. Except the angles they were standing at, they backed into each other bum first. 🤨
 
Bann's a idiot. Worse, Bann thinks I'm an idiot.

He's been on rare form with the "save me I'm being murdered" shrieks today, to the point I was wondering if something was actually wrong, even if his reaction every time I sat next to the cage was to immediately shut up and shove his head out of bed to find the delicious food I must've brought.

But at least twice he's made such a horrific screech I've immediately ran into the room and the second time I got the proof I needed - he saw me, bolted away from Cam's bed, literally dived into his...and then started the "woe is me" noises again. Thanks, mate. 🤨
 
If that's the case, I wish he'd wheek like any normal guinea pig instead of crying like he's tortured/in pain because that keeps giving me a panic attack.

Roselina said:
And you think Bann’s an idiot …..😂 I think he’s a smart one ❤️
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But also this is Bann and the only thing that surprises me now, is that he's worked out this summons me faster than the wheek does. Cheeky brat that he is, lol. Everything is as it should be - weight, appetite. I'm keeping check on his left eye because it's regularly producing a lot of cleaning fluid but there's nothing much wrong with it. Just Bann being Bann, lol.
 
Lorcan said:
Hiccuping. I've caught him at it out in the open and not hidden. He's hiccuping. That's what he's triggering his godawful noises, the bloody hiccups.

Well today's certainly been a whirlwind of 🤨
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Never heard of a hiccupping piggy before. A farting piggy yes but a hiccupping piggy no. Thea farts like a good un :vom: but as she's a old gal I'll let her off!
 
It's the consequences of inhaling his food, I'm sure. Chewing is for the weak (or something). The worst part is, now that I've seen him doing it, I'm pretty sure I had this exact same realisation before, but it's been a while since it was this frequent som I'd forgotten.

Hiccups. I've not :doh: so hard in a while. Hiccups!
 
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