Guilt

[bonbon55]

hi, my guinea pig died about 5 days ago now, and i just feel awful for the cagemate she's left behind. as far as i know she isn't experiencing acute pining. she's fine with walking around the cage, drinking and eating, but seeing her alone in there just breaks my heart since she's never been a lone guinea pig. i feel so bad and guilty for her and i don't know how to ask my mum for another. if my mum says no i have a friend who also has a guinea pig and i can arrange play dates with but i'm worried that it won't be enough. even if i do get another, i worry that it's not going to be the same as the bond she shared with her sister and i just feel awful and guilty seeing her walk around the cage on her own. i don't know if i should have introduced her to another partner by now and i'm scared that i don't know if she's happy since she can't talk etc. i'm also really worried that maybe she is going through acute pining and i just haven't noticed, because she has always been a hungry guinea pig, so maybe grief wouldn't make her lose her appetite like everyone else? i don't know, i'm just worried and scared that i'm not doing enough for her and it really hurts to see her sitting alone. i've missed three days of school already because i just want to keep her by my side all day i had to go to school today and i felt so guilty when i got home because part of me feels like it should have been time spent with her can i do anything to make sure she's happy? if anyone has advice for how i feel and for what i can do i for her please help i feel like a really awful owner :[

 

[Piggies&buns]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are not a bad owner, you clearly care deeply for her and want what is best for her. You also need time for yourself to grieve.
Guinea pigs do grieve also. If she is going about her business and is eating, then it sounds as if she is ok for now, but the time will come when she will need a new friend.

This guide gives details of how to look after your piggy while she is alone. Looking After A Bereaved Guinea Pig

When the time comes to get her a new friend, then do come back and ask us for advice, there are ways to go about it to ensure things work out successfully. I won’t over load you with that information for now as it seems you need time but we are here to help you.

However, I do need to tell you that arranging play dates with your friends guinea pigs is not a good idea. Piggies don’t do these kind of playdates. For them, it is all or nothing and for her to be introduced to new piggies, and then separated and then go back for another play date will result in a lot of stress for her and your friends piggies.

 

[Wiebke]

hi, my guinea pig died about 5 days ago now, and i just feel awful for the cagemate she's left behind. as far as i know she isn't experiencing acute pining. she's fine with walking around the cage, drinking and eating, but seeing her alone in there just breaks my heart since she's never been a lone guinea pig. i feel so bad and guilty for her and i don't know how to ask my mum for another. if my mum says no i have a friend who also has a guinea pig and i can arrange play dates with but i'm worried that it won't be enough. even if i do get another, i worry that it's not going to be the same as the bond she shared with her sister and i just feel awful and guilty seeing her walk around the cage on her own. i don't know if i should have introduced her to another partner by now and i'm scared that i don't know if she's happy since she can't talk etc. i'm also really worried that maybe she is going through acute pining and i just haven't noticed, because she has always been a hungry guinea pig, so maybe grief wouldn't make her lose her appetite like everyone else? i don't know, i'm just worried and scared that i'm not doing enough for her and it really hurts to see her sitting alone. i've missed three days of school already because i just want to keep her by my side all day i had to go to school today and i felt so guilty when i got home because part of me feels like it should have been time spent with her can i do anything to make sure she's happy? if anyone has advice for how i feel and for what i can do i for her please help i feel like a really awful owner :[

Hi and welcome!

Please do not feel bad; a companion that is not acutely grieving can wait ideally between 1-4 weeks to have time for their own (shorter) grieving and before they usually start to become gradually depressed/more withdrawn. If possible, find a solution where your remaining girl can choose her own future companion.

Unfortunately for you guinea pigs don't do play dates. Every meeting is a full-on bonding session that is frustratingly interrupted. The constant on and off is much more stressful and confusing for a guinea than losing their companion and being introduced to a potential new friend with a proper bonding meet after a suitable period.

Rather concentrate on enriching her life with things to discover and tear apart. Thankfully the best toys are the really cheap ones you can make yourself at home!
Here are ideas for helping her through the rough time: Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs

Our singles guide also has a chapter on bereaved piggies, as well as tips for finding new companionship and how to spot the signs when your piggy needs a new friend: Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities

Take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself!

Strong feelings of guilt and failure are typical for the first phase of the grieving process; they are just an expression of what a caring and loving owner you are, as you would not have them otherwise.
You may find our grieving guide helpful to understand a bit better the feelings you are experiencing. Unfortunately the death of a beloved pet is often the first time in life that we are confronted with a loss. Unfortunately our modern society has pushed death aside and behind closed doors, but that means that there are not many rituals and structures available for you.
Our grieving guide is trying to close that gap. It also contains resources where you can look for help.
Here is the link: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

 

[Merab]

Welcome to the forum and I am so sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourse as you grieve.
I can only echo what @Piggies&buns and @Wiebke have said about companionship for your other piggy

 

[bonbon55]

ohh thank you for telling me about play dates i heard someone talk about them on here before so i thought that they would be okay. i'm not sure how to convince my mum to adopt or foster a new pig because she thinks it's a lot of hassle and she knows people who only have one and says they're fine on their own :[ is there anything i can say to her? i want to ask her to phone fostering centres and stuff but i think she will just say that my guinea pig will be fine.

 

[Piggies&buns]

ohh thank you for telling me about play dates i heard someone talk about them on here before so i thought that they would be okay. i'm not sure how to convince my mum to adopt or foster a new pig because she thinks it's a lot of hassle and she knows people who only have one and says they're fine on their own :[ is there anything i can say to her? i want to ask her to phone fostering centres and stuff but i think she will just say that my guinea pig will be fine.

There are a lot of useful guides in the bonding and behaviour section of this forum which will be useful to you and to show your mum.
Do tell her that guinea pigs are highly social herd animals and as such suffer from loneliness if they are kept alone for too long. It is not ok for them to be by themselves for the long term. Their emotional well-being and having a friend is just as important as any other part of their care.

 

[Wiebke]

There are a lot of useful guides in the bonding and behaviour section of this forum which will be useful to you and to show your mum.
Do tell her that guinea pigs are highly social herd animals and as such suffer from loneliness if they are kept alone for too long. It is not ok for them to be by themselves for the long term. Their emotional well-being and having a friend is just as important as any other part of their care.

Hi!

Would you tell a human widow or widower that they will never ever be allowed to see or speak with another human person again?
That is what it means to a bereaved guinea pig!

Keeping group animals like guinea pigs or rabbits with a companion of their own kind is now recognised internationally as one of the 'five freedoms' of animal welfare rights. They are the same for the US as for the UK.
This a change in thinking that many of your parents' generation (or if you want to, my own ) have not grown up with and that is sadly not always quite easy for them to accept if they are still stuck in the old ways. But it is hopefully never too late to learn and to change one's mind to be more compassionate and understanding towards all of God's creatures.
Here is a US link from the Animal Humane Society: The Five Freedoms for animals

Here are our own forum information links:
Companionship
Guinea Pig Facts - An Overview
Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities (especially the last chapter, which you and your mother may find rather interesting!)

Good luck!

 

[Guinea Fan]

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say if your mum won't let you have another guinea pig, your guinea pig will be ok. Its not ideal, but she will be fine, especially if you continue to care for her as you are. What isn't fine, is you missing school and worrying yourself like you are.

You are a really really caring guinea pig owner. Find ways to occupy her, with boxes, hay in egg boxes is a good one. Explore the suggestions on Wiebke's post above and enrich her life as best you can. She will be a well loved guinea pig and she will be happy.

Take care x